Good manners

P 3190 Who colours your world?

/ DVH

“So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life.”  Proverbs 4:23 TPT.  When I hear that scripture I think of a little man in a guard’s uniform marching up and down with a big gun on his shoulder. Behind him is a door, with a sign on it and it says:“No entry without permission – Joe Blog’s mind.”  Suffice to say, I have a very vivid imagination! 

The thing is, all of us need as much help with our minds as we can get. Our minds need to be renewed — on purpose, daily. This must happen simply because we are continually being bombarded with worldly propaganda minute by minute. Just recently, I was dragged into a conversation that centred on something I wouldn’t normally talk about. I actually internally, disagreed with the speaker. The trouble was this person was a guest in our home so I had to choose between being rude to a guest, and exercising good manners, or bailing out of the conversation. 

You guessed it – I went the easy way, and then I felt really bad about it. I repented of course, but I was disappointed in myself. However, it gave me a chance to reflect on something I might normally brush aside. How do you go about giving someone else a loving refusal to their ideas, when what they are saying goes against what you believe? I know that the Holy Spirit has a way through this kind of difficulty, if we simply choose to stay in His Presence. Sadly, I flunked that test, this time, I fell right in!

The scripture above from Proverbs actually gives us a great clue about this kind of scenario – it isn’t what comes out that is the problem – it’s what is already IN there! Somewhere, somehow, I have not been guarding what my heart loves, and so the wrong issues got in. In computer-land, if your programming is bad, then the results won’t be great either. So, what do I need to put IN to reprogram my inner opinions with His Word? His word, duh!

Now the issue is no longer about what anybody else said, but what I have been inwardly holding onto. Well, there’s a yucky thought — but it is worth exploring. I don’t want ‘all that I am’ to be affected by opinionated stuff that I may have thought was important in the past. I want everything I am to be affected by the Lord and what He wants in my life, right here, right now.. BTW, I do pray about my speech being “winsome” during the day, but sometimes my opinions have a mind of their own. They have a tendency to pop out unannounced!

My starting place for things like this is always repentance, there is nothing else like it for clearing the decks of detritus and junk we don’t need. Then with the Holy Spirit’s help, I am going to need to pay attention to what I am holding onto from the past, that is not scriptural. That’s when the fun starts! Because I will need to hold the line the Holy Spirit and I have just drawn, with His help and lean on Him. Holding the line, is not as easy as it sounds, things or thoughts attack us unexpectedly.

“God tells the truth, even if everyone else is a liar!” The Scriptures say this … “Your words will be proven true, and in court You will win Your case.” Romans 3:4. In my heart I know that when I go with God’s opinions, then He will stand with me and His Word will prevail. But first, I will actively need to embrace what He thinks and throw out my own opinion. Otherwise I can say goodbye to His spring of living water bubbling up inside me, as well as out of me, toward others.

When I choose to be judgmental in any situation — instead of excusing myself, and pushing those thoughts back under that ’things I hide from myself’ blanket in my mind… I will have to face the truth. Whether I meant to be critical or not, somebody else could misunderstand me and I can lead them astray. (Romans 14.) My sin is not what I said or didn’t say – my sin is this: I can lead someone else astray with my opinion. I must pray that ‘…God’s word in me becomes more powerful, and more to be desired than fine gold!’ (Psalm 19:10)

The Lord has showed me that leading people astray:  “…is not (MY) calling. (I) will lead by a completely different model. The greatest one among you will live as the one who is called to serve others, because the greatest honour and authority is reserved for the one with the heart of a servant. For even the Son of Man did not come expecting to be served but to serve and give His life in exchange for the salvation of many.”” Matthew 20:26-28 TPT. That’s my calling!!

It is clear that I am called to be a servant to others, the way Jesus was a servant to me. And only HE can help me fulfil that aim. So now, my question becomes this, how can I serve this person who has opinions that resemble actual things I too have thought or said in the past? Are they best served by my re-enforcing a worldly opinion? No. This is a place for my silence and loving acceptance toward somebody else who doesn’t know any better.

Whenever I find somewhere that I have not yet been transformed, I cannot afford to go into shame, but rather I need to pray and ask Him how to put what I know to be true, into practice — instead of just agreeing with it as a theory. We can allow the world around us to colour us, BUT!!… the reality is we have the power to bring His true colours into this world where others can see them. Bye. 👋

P 3041 Blame and shame …

/ DVH

… the destructive twins. Those thieves take our peace and joy away and leave us with angst and worry. They make poor governors of our behaviour. They can be aimed at ourselves, as well as others. When we are caught up in this way of thinking, we move right out of operating in Grace, because blame and shame thrive on guilt. And guilt distracts us from the reality of our salvation. 

If our enemy cannot get us to sin, he wants to keep our minds so focussed on our shortcomings, or someone else’s quirks, that we can barely spiritually breathe. The more we allow these thought patterns to rule the less we will love ourselves or others. I have come to the conclusion that who I really am is the person who comes out when I am squeezed by circumstances. That thought has helped me enormously to be realistic about my actions and attitudes, without being obsessive. Instead I confess my faults and He heals me! I don’t have to be afraid to admit my shortcomings, because the Lord has taken care of them. Now I can happily give thanks because of the Grace He releases to me, and through me. 

Sadly, everything we say and do can be disguised to look good to others, by using our own good manners. However, those things do not come from the fruit of the Spirit, but from our own will and our own personal sense of how this life is meant to work. I often spiritually fall over someone else’s lack of manners, because mine were dinged into me from birth! Those things immediately send me spiralling off into judgment. Good manners are great, but spiritual fruit is permanent. It can be eaten. That fruit slowly ushers in spiritual growth, health and transformation, and when you take a bite out of it, it won’t bite you back!

We have His help, always. But we can become so used to acting, or even reacting, without any thought, we can miss those crucial moments to yield. The Holy Spirit is our 24/7, on the spot, Helper. He wants to help us transform our inner attitudes so what comes out is really IN there! Sadly, in many congregations it is almost easier to give a performance of good, than it is to face our short-comings realistically.

If you have lived most of your Christian life on a steady diet of religion, trying to manufacture in your own strength what our kingdom lives need to look like — that can be an enormous weight. We can feel such a failure all the time, because all we can see is fault. Blame and shame love to jump on that bandwagon. So if I feel down, you must have done something wrong, so it’s your fault!! I have discovered that the more I oppress my true self, the more likely I am to hide my faults, and focus on yours.  It is like a being on a merry-go-round I cannot get off! Now I have an image to keep up! 

Letting God into our intimate thoughts and inner self can be incredibly daunting. Some of us don’t let anybody in there! Instead we have constructed ‘devices’ to distract ourselves from paying attention to what is going on inside. Maybe we are afraid of blame or shame. That’s often when our awareness of what Jesus did for us has become dim, and remote— then we try to hide from the One Who already loves and knows us. Jonah is a brilliant example of that kind of thinking in action! He hid in the bottom of a ship because the Lord’s idea did not appeal to Him, he blamed God Himself for wanting to save Nineveh. Yet Paul has several instances where he openly admits they had one idea, and the Holy Spirit had another! It’s OK to be wrong, just be honest about it.

For most of us God’s Love is a strong concept, yet to be deeply experienced. It is not a deep seated reality. We can devotedly read the bible with this awful feeling that we will always fall short, and sadly that can lead to blaming and shaming ourselves, or even to putting others down, because they seem to be successful, and we’re not. At the same time, some of us have learnt to be really great actors! That’s why I love reading the gospels, because the disciples foibles and dumb attitudes give me room to be myself – real, inadequate and normal. I know I need a Saviour!

Religion blames and shames people, and that produces fear, rejection, and pain for everyone involved. The Pharisees and their mates didn’t understand where the Lord Jesus was coming from, and yet they knew the bible, backwards, and inside out. They were the leaders, so they made a visible practice of knowing everything  from every direction. Just like they did back then, a religious bent can colour the way we look at His Word, and affect how we live our lives and regard other people. Blaming parents seems to be a national past-time! ‘They smacked me too much, or they used shame to govern me.” Blame is blame no matter why or where we aim it. I comfort myself that I had a childish mind back then – but I don’t have to have one now!

The fullness that belongs to every single one of the Lord’s kids will always seem out of reach if we continue to wrestle with religious stuff. God loves real people who make real mistakes!  I have noticed a couple of things about blame and shame … if you have lived with it in the past, those terrible twins seem to nag at you in subtle ways in the present, and you are more likely to fall into that pattern of thinking again, as well as reflecting it to others, especially under pressure. Let the oppressed go free – them and me!! Praise God for His Grace.

Bye. 👋

In Romans 1:16 Paul declares,“I am not ashamed of the gospel,”and Isaiah 54:4, which promises, “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.”And 2 Timothy 1:12: “But I am not ashamed, for I know Whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me.”

P 2815 Single-mindedness.

/ DVH

““Heaven’s kingdom realm can be illustrated like this: “A person discovered that there was hidden treasure in a field. Upon finding it, he hid it again. Because of uncovering such treasure, he was overjoyed and sold all that he possessed to buy the entire field just so he could have the treasure.”Matthew 13:44 TPT. 

The Lord taught me a great lesson from this particular scripture today. Every single time I’ve read it in the past, I got stuck on the fact that it seems to me that this guy who found the treasure is deceitful. Today, I read it in countless versions, and that premise remained the same to me! Like I’ve said before – sometimes you have to insist! I kept on getting stuck on the fact that this field was did not belong to the man who ended up with it — in my mind he cheated the legitimate owner to get the treasure! Talk about missing-the-point-101!

Look I need to say first up that I can see that this parable is about the priority we give to His kingdom and it is clear that it must be first. But what the Lord and I talked about together today, was a clarification of motivation and inspiration. In my mind, the passer-by should have told the owner about what he found in the man’s field.  However, Jesus Himself told this story so I was pretty sure He had a worthwhile point, and it obviously wasn’t about deceiving people! And then the Lord said this to me …

“You are looking this story from the point of view of honesty and good manners. You have a man-made filter. You do that a lot. Good manners are not the same as the kingdom of God!  And good manners won’t get you into My Kingdom either! They can lock you into a place where you are no longer truthful – you make decisions about what is acceptable and what is not. Instead, you need to be looking for the kingdom of God in everything you see and do. Some times good manners and kingdom things are mutually exclusive.” ‘Ok-ay’ … says I not quite sure that I wasn’t just having a conversation with myself! 😶

The Lord went on: “As a little child you were taught to have good manners, to say please and thank you, and that you mustn’t take or touch other people’s things. So in your mind, good manners and honesty are a precedent … over everything else. However, it was not My Spirit Who taught you that, but experience. And sometimes it was often a painful one. But you cannot do things from My LOVE when you are in bondage to fear. Love and fear cannot occupy the same place – LOVE must always win.

The man in My story who owned this field had never found the treasure in it, he had never even looked, and the sale of this field was a legitimate contract between these two men. And the man who bought it, bought it because he treasured what was in it so much, he gave up everything else. That’s the way I want you to treasure My kingdom!”

Yeah, now I was getting it! I suddenly remembered a number of times when I have used good manners as an excuse to avoid confronting someone else. And then there was a time when I didn’t do or say something because it didn’t seem polite to point it out. Hmmm. Suddenly good manners had rapidly become overrated, and I could see that I was hiding the truth in some situations, under the guise of having ‘good manners.’

What I got from what the Lord said to me was — having good manners are sometimes incompatible, and obstructive to the kingdom of God. We are not meant to be rude to anyone on purpose, but if we are to be led and taught by the Holy Spirit, we may need to rethink the skills we were given as children. Because an automatic response is not the same as permanent transformation. Father God desires us to give things to others freely – not because we are obligated.

I know there are many scriptures telling us how to treat each other, even unbelievers, but it seemed to me the Holy Spirit was pointing out that I had an overriding precedent and it was not from Him.  Then He kindly explained to me that we can speak the truth in love without betraying His kingdom. It is all about our heart’s attitude, not what is or is not said. In the meantime I was hiding my real self behind something I learnt when I was small — for safeties’ sake. If I was not rude to others then that meant I dodged a smack. But the Lord is my hiding place not social niceties. 

The thing is the Kingdom of God is about taking risks, and suddenly my former theology had a hole in it that I could drive a mac-truck through!  Being polite is not the same as being Godly – it just looks the same, to everyone else. If we want to be led by the Holy Spirit then we are going to have to re-learn to do things His Way. The kingdom of God needs to be our priority over everything else, including manners etc.  What the Lord and I talked about together was a clarification of motivation, as well as inspiration.

The bible teaches us that: “a double minded man will not receive anything from the Lord.” And I can see that the conflict between my manners and His kingdom has helped to make me double minded. Those two things are not the same. So I repented! Manners are a man-made way of dealing with society. But we need the same sort of single-mindedness the Lord Himself had. His one purpose was to glorify God, not just keep Himself well regarded and safe! He is always our place of safety. Please feel free to pray for me as I learn how to discern between these two things, Bless you. 👋 

P 2760 Don’t let a ceiling stop you!

/ DVH

Our pastor recently preached about moving mountains the other day, it made me think. Those kinds of thoughts have been bubbling about inside me ever since I heard it. Then this morning hubby and I were sharing about things we’ve seen when we are on the road, giving away bibles etc. and one thing led to another, and then the Lord chimed in with this: “Be like those men in the bible, tear off the roof if you have to.“ (That’s in Mark, Matthew and Luke.) Boy did we get happy!  What a word! Let’s all pray: ‘Dear Lord help us to tear off spiritual ceilings whenever they prevent people from getting to YOU –  You are their Answer.’ Amen!

Meanwhile, here’s the story in Luke 5:17-20:“On one of the days while Jesus was teaching, some proud religious law-keepers and teachers of the Law were sitting by Him. They had come from every town in the countries of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. The power of the Lord was there to heal them.  Some men took a man who was not able to move his body to Jesus. He was carried on a bed. They looked for a way to take the man into the house where Jesus was.  But they could not find a way to take him in because of so many people. They made a hole in the roof over where Jesus stood. Then they let the bed with the sick man on it down before Jesus. When Jesus saw THEIR faith, He said to the man, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

As I read it, I began to see that scene with fresh eyes. These men who brought the paralysed man to Jesus were full of faith – they knew if they could get him to Jesus he would be well. But the house was filled up with many people and a bunch of religious leaders. The leaders were all listening to Jesus, and if you keep on reading you will find that these religious men probably weren’t there to cheer! Instead they stumbled over Jesus telling the man his sins were forgiven. They took umbrage, because they did not recognise that GOD was in the house. ‘Oh Lord, please save us all from not recognising when YOU are IN the house!’ Amen!

These religious leaders loved to debate the law and they knew it like the back of their hands. They instantly picked Jesus up on what He said, because they knew from their studies that only God Himself can forgive our sins. After all this was what they did day by day –  sins were forgiven with offerings on an altar. The scholars had invested so deeply in their own knowledge that they had restricted their faith. Even worse – perhaps they thought knowledge WAS faith.

You know there were only two possible answers for what Jesus did. Either He  blasphemed, OR … Jesus Christ IS God – and not just another prophet –  and He could and did forgive sins – as well as personally pay for them!! And aren’t you and I incredibly blessed to know that answer?!

Did you get the part where the sick guy couldn’t get IN to the Lord’s Presence? Sick people need help to get to God. That house was filled up with religious leaders, watching and waiting for Jesus to make a mistake. Isn’t that a terrifying sentence?! These scholarly men were in the same room as the God they cherished and studied, and …they utterly missed Him! And yet, Jesus was so incredibly patient and kind, both to the man on the bed, and his faithful friends, plus the people who were there to prove Him wrong. He healed the man, and explained Himself, then left His critics dumbfounded. 

This story made me wonder … How many times have I left off praying because it seemed as if there was something in my way? Maybe a mountain? Or a ceiling?? It all seems a bit incredible when we look at what it took to bring that ailing man to Jesus’ feet. How much love and faith, in and through his friends, was expressed just for the invalid’s sake? Without an apology, or even a … do you mind? — They actually wrecked some guy’s house! Put yourself there for a minute – maybe at the minute that the roof starts to fall on the floor. I wonder what was going through the owner’s mind in those few seconds? 😶 I’d really like to think that that person thought it was worth a busted ceiling for someone to get thoroughly well.

Now to my question:  how many ceilings has this life put on all of us? How much stuff — like good manners, or respect for other people’s property, wrong theology, or avoiding doing the unpopular thing in front of everyone, has come between us and God’s will in our lives? Yeah. That’s not the most cheery thought. Maybe we have lived our lives so far, scared of what the so-called experts will say – because they supposedly know, and we don’t? The men in that house all experienced God in a remarkable way, which had nothing to do with knowledge.“Knowledge puffs up…”

All I know for sure, is that mere knowledge is no longer good enough for me. I want to tear up some hypothetical roofs and see people set free, and healed, and praising God for His goodness! And most of all I don’t want to care anymore what anybody else thinks about it! As His church, we must not let the spiritual ceilings in our lives stop us from being the kind of people who want to get someone else to Jesus, simply because they need His help. No matter what that costs. That’s called unconditional LOVE!  And …’We will always need Your help with that Lord,’ Amen. Bye 👋

P 2436 Be humble, the Lord loves a humble heart.

/ DVH

“If you readily receive correction, you are walking on the path to life. But if you reject rebuke, you’re guaranteed to go astray.” Proverbs 10:17 TPT. The Lord gave me a key when I was a very young Christian and I’m still learning how to use it. He said this: “If you will hear Me for correction, you will hear Me for direction.” I can personally testify that that word is true. Allowing Him to correct us at any given time, opens eyes that are often blind to the owner’s faults … as well as new possibilities. Being ready to be wrong at any given time is not only a great source of humility … it is a source of amazing God-given strength.

It comes from understanding that we do not know everything. The bible has this great piece of advice in it: “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” Proverbs 17:28. Personally, I like my son’s translation of that, which is: “Even an idiot looks wise with his mouth shut!” 😂 James 3:13 says this: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”  

Humility is rare in today’s world, and, as a result, the people of this age aren’t always wise – you simply have to read the papers to see that! When is the last time you saw a world leader say: “I was wrong, I’m sorry.” When is the last time YOU said it?  Meanwhile nobody enjoys being wrong…including me! But in this wonderful new world of God’s kingdom coming in our lives — we are rarely right— that’s because we are on a journey. Only God is good – remember? Humility always begins by putting Him first.

Many Christians bumble along, hiding from who they actually are, because they don’t want to change … they don’t think it is necessary. They discount their nasty attitudes behind closed doors, and think public politeness will fool God and others. Sadly I fall down that hole all the time. I was raised to have good manners, and they shoot me in the foot a lot. But true humility owns its faults and then seeks the Holy Spirit’s help to correct them. It loves reparation.

False humility criticises others where the perpetrator can’t be heard. You know good manners is about me looking good to you, humility is about caring how I look to God! Good manners can be hypocritical. We cannot be cleansed from known sin we will not own. Utter honesty and sincerity can be difficult to live by, but owning our faults, humbles us. Sadly we can successfully hide nasty traits from others by calling those traits nice names like — caring, constructive criticism, good manners, and sometimes we even misuse the prophetic…

Paul has that whole idea smashed… “Why not suffer wrong?” He says that in 1 Corinthians 6:7. He’s talking about Christians suing each other, but it is all the same difference! What He means is humbling yourself, and living honestly and truthfully is spiritually beneficial.  Peter says: “Humble yourself, under God’s mighty hand, that in due time He may exalt you.” 1 Peter 5:6. We need to come to the place where what God thinks and what He wants, is far more important to me than my pride, or what you think of me.

When we choose human wisdom we are moving away from the wisdom from above. James 3:17 tells us what this wisdom looks like: “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” It isn’t about who is right, and can prove it. Or who is wrong and hasn’t got a leg to stand on! What would GOD Himself have to say about our petty spiteful arguments? What are those things doing to our spiritual lives? 

My 96 year old mother has taught me these things by example. She forgives everyone, and speaks well of people, plus she absolutely respects Almighty God. She has always had the kind of attitude that says: “There is no point in holding a grudge, life is too short for grudges.” I have never heard her criticise anyone. My husband’s mother’s response to gossip or criticism is to stop speaking … full stop! She withdraws and won’t be drawn into the conversation. She respects Jesus more than people. It seems to me that senior generation of women has a lot to teach us!

I think humility starts in our hearts. We get it automatically as we understand we cannot possibly live this life the way Jesus did, without asking for His help… because there is too much of ME in the way. A repentant person is one who repairs things quickly, because their relationship with the Lord is far more important than outward appearances. Living this life dead to self is the very best way to follow Jesus – you get to humble yourself in front of others – all over the place! 👋🏻