Fragile

P 2793 Learn to value peace above everything else …

/ DVH

…including toilet paper!More on that in a minute! … Peace can become quite elusive in this world today. My best advice to help maintain your peace is to make every effort to get along with others. I’ve learnt over the years that our emotions and wrong thinking can led us onto a slippery path where tempers flare and little things drive us insane. The bible tells us to “pursue peace.” We will have to run after it, it rarely falls on you, and it will take some pretty specific choices to avoid quarrelling. Loving others despite their behaviour, can stop any reciprocal attitudes. My rule of thumb to disengage from crankiness is this – what would love do? Then say something nice instead. 

Here’s a laugh… back when Covid was ruining everyone’s world. In my country there was absolutely no toilet paper in our supermarkets. It was all over the news. People were panic buying toilet paper … rolls and rolls. Why? I dunno! 😳 They tore about like demented loons chasing toilet paper. Peace went out of the window! Obviously some people can’t live without it. How hilarious! When I was a kid, our toilet paper consisted of torn up newspapers hanging on a hook. It totally blows my mind that at the same time in my history, fish and chips came wrapped up in newspaper too! 

The thing to remember, in times of unrest – the Lord’s peace often seems elusive and it doesn’t seem to make any sense. We want to defend ourselves. I am talking about internal peace – external peace is another story. That takes humility and a willingness to forgive. Our world around us can be exploding and/or falling apart and yet when we have His peace, we are internally, supernaturally removed from whatever is going on. We become spectators, not participants. (Psalm 91) So we can totally see what’s is going on, but we’re watching things happen from the outside. We cannot afford to leave that place of His peace to participate with the bad stuff – because we will lose what the Lord has given us.

Peace disappears, slowly … one bad decision at a time. We give it away when we start using our minds and emotions to analyse trouble or other people’s actions. That’s when we begin to participate. It helps to remember that dead people have no rights! If we talk, talk, talk about how I feel about this or that, or I choose to have an opinion on why someone else is behaving the way they are – I am giving away my God-given right to live in HIS PEACE in those moments of agitation, I become enmeshed within the perceived problem.  Even if I allow myself to become secretly angry with someone else’s behaviour, I will slowly lose His peace. We need to learn to value peace more than self-expression.

God’s kingdom is a PEACEFUL KINGDOM. There are no enemies there. No battles to fight. It’s a real place where everybody’s aim is to glorify the Trinity! We can also be faced with the same choices to overcome that Jesus had in Matthew 4:1-11. The Lord used the scriptures against our enemy. We too have the power to overcome sin, the world and the devil, the same way He did, but we need to choose to allow the Holy Spirit to show us the Way He wants to do it. There were times when Christ was silent in the face of His accusers. The value of saying nothing is often greatly underestimated. At the same time, the Holy Spirit will hand us the scriptures, (the sword) we need to fight with – we just need to calm down enough to hear Him. Spectators do not participate, they WATCH.

God’s peace is not fragile, it is robust when it is established, but it needs to be treasured and respected.  It was given to us for free, because of what Christ did for us. When Jesus suffered for our sins He became our new identity. He shows us the way to cultivate this peace in the following scripture. ““I leave the gift of peace with you—My peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but My perfect peace.Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous!” John 14:27 TPT. 

Fear, anger, and worry will always come knocking in times of trouble, but we don’t have to answer the door, we can use our courage to fight those things off. And refuse entry to our hearts and minds through the enemy’s ghastly thoughts, painted scenarios and hideous suggestions. Our enemy is always there, like he was when Christ was tempted – he will hand us the next nasty line to throw at the other person. There is no winning in a war –  even the guy fighting with you has an eternal soul. At the same time, we need to remind ourselves, through bible verses —who we really are. We simply tell the enemy that we are not going to accept his nonsense – God’s in charge here! 

The way to keep His peace with us all the time, is to die daily to what suits us, and live for Jesus. He will help us but we must ask, and in some stressful moments we may need to keep on asking, because God stretches our faith. However, the Lord is never demanding – so if a demanding thought comes into your mind it is not Him. Jesus is kind, gentle and lowly in His heart, He simply wants to help us, the same way He was helped when His life seemed so bleak.  He sent us the Holy Spirit so we can learn to live with His peace prevailing. We need to learn to value that peace. Bye 👋

“You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavour to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others.” Colossians 3:12 TPT

P 2754 A most valuable tool.

/ DVH

One of the most useful tools in my interpersonal toolbox is the one that says: “my response is my responsibility.”  I have found it can be much too easy to blame the way I am responding, or reacting, onto someone else’s actions. Maybe someone ticks me off, and instead of doing something (prayerfully) about it, I let it go because I am busy and I don’t have time to poke about in my feelings, or sort out your not-so-nice attitude toward me. What’s inside me, that has been stored up – so to speak, and it will eventually come out … usually at another person!

Unfortunately that kind of neglect buries any difficulties – it does not clear them up. Buried things have a tendency to rot away and stink! The next time you do something that ticks me off, I will have a less tolerant attitude toward your actions. If you keep on bumping into my ever increasing irritation, eventually – I could feel justified to snipe back at you. However, there is no ownership in those actions. I have unrealistically, farmed out my responsibility for my emotions onto you, because I am expecting you to pull up your socks and stop ticking me off! 

The only person in charge of the way I respond is ME! I would be far better off handing my irritation over to the Lord, and asking Him to help me with it, instead of stuffing it down inside me … making it a time bomb waiting to go off. I don’t have to say anything to you unless He says I should… I simply talk to Him and ask Him to adjust my inner ‘dial’ so that I am not so sensitive to the argy bargy stuff that happens in this life. I ask Him for more love and less impatience, and could He please show me what is actually going on inside me?

Babies are a perfect example of uncontrolled emotions. They cry and crank, mainly because they don’t have any language for how they feel. So someone comes and picks them up to soothe them. We have a society full of people who do not know how to handle their own emotions and soothe themselves. They keep waiting for someone else to do it, or they will throw blame everywhere. These people shrug off their own responsibility to manage their anger, rage, whinging, weeping, irritation and plonk it onto the people who are annoying them. It might be the wife and kids, it could be the government, or a neighbour, but I can guarantee that if you ask them, it  will always be someone else’s fault they are angry, full of rage, or sad etc. It will never be their fault. 

This life has bad things in it. People do truly dreadful things to each other and they are not only not sorry – they’ve let the aforementioned storm inside them build up to gigantic uncontrollable levels. We need to learn, with God’s help – how to manage our own responses and reactions. 

Repentance and ownership of my own flaws and faults must be like breathing. The bible clearly tells us that we don’t have to feel bad, or even less than somebody else;   because we know Jesus died for ALL our sins. And I’m not better than them either. I am not perfect myself, and, despite my feelings, I am not as excessively fragile as I think.

God put a fighter in all of us – we are designed for transformation, so we will have to fight our own human inclination to retaliate. I need to use His weapons of warfare. Those weapons I choose will transform my inner life so that it is not a litany of other people’s faults playing over and over and over again. That’s why I read the Bible, I am looking for Him, plus my own sin, not yours!

Today I want to look at those two men who were crucified right alongside Jesus. One man was bitter, the other became bigger. That second man was also suffering but he made hard choices at an incredibly difficult time. BTW, they both deserved their punishment.  

Luke 23:32, 33: “Two others, both criminals, were led out to be executed with Him. When they came to a place called The Skull  they nailed Him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on His right and one on His left… … 39-42 “One of the criminals hanging beside Him scoffed, “So You’re the Messiah, are You? Prove it by saving Yourself—and us, too, while You’re at it!” But the other criminal protested, “Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when You come into your Kingdom.”

Ownership of our own faults is imperative to becoming a mature Christian. We must transform our self-talk by digesting the bible. Instead of dismissing ourselves as innocent, we need to remind ourselves that there is nothing that happens to us that is not Father-filtered. We need to ask for more FAITH to overcome our human inclinations. 1 Corinthians 13 is not a dream … it is a reality, ready to enter our lives, if we live prepared to press in and value the tools He has given us. If I truly want to be free I will deal with ME. Bye 👋

P 2413 Some thoughts about fatherhood.

/ DVH

“…This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who You are. Set the world right; Do what’s best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with You and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. You’re in charge! You can do anything You want! You’re ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes.” Matthew 6 MSG.

Today I want to talk about a place some people may have a lack. Those of us who have not had a present, engaged earthly father, may find the entire concept of a father is hard to grasp. Personally, I don’t remember my birth-father at all, I met him much later in life, and to be perfectly honest with you – I had no idea what to do with him! At that time he gave me a big bag of jelly-beans, because I loved them when I was 7, which was the last time he saw me … However I was 27 when I saw him again … and not much fussed about jelly beans! He died not long after that meeting, and he had another family by then, so we didn’t get a chance to mend bridges. 

I totally fell head over heels in love with Jesus when I met Him. His willingness to accept me and save me from myself plus His unrelenting kindness and goodness blew me away. But, a Heavenly Father … that was a whole other ballgame. Father God was more of a written concept than an actual father to me. I said all that to say this … my early lack meant that I have had a limited idea emotionally, about a father’s generosity. How a good man cares or watches out for his children’s well being. His strength and solidarity in a time of crisis. I virtually grew up fatherless in the real sense of the word.

But I had two stepfathers. One of them taught me how to forgive people who sin against you, because his form of government was extremely physical. Unfortunately, at the same time, he taught me to be afraid of men. This meant that a loving, engaged, and a totally-committed-to-my-welfare-father, like our Heavenly Father is to all of us … was right outside my childhood experience. A good father helps his kids with their identity. These wonderful men provide abiding security, so that their kids do not major on minor things like they are the end of the world..

This is why the above prayer from the Message bible blesses me. It says so clearly: “reveal Who You are….” I know that I need that kind of revelation from Him. Obedience comes easily to me – fear of consequences is a terrible motivator – but it also means I have a fear of God that isn’t biblical or healthy. This verse explains that our God loves to help us in the places we have a lack. My advice is to simply ask Him to supply that particular need. He isn’t just talking about somewhere to live, or a nice car!

BTW, we are not being disloyal to our earthly parents just because Father God can meet our needs and they didn’t – or can’t – or won’t. Even a good earthly father can mess up! And trust can be fragile at best when someone ill-equipped to be a godly father, turns out to be your parent. All told I had 3 fathers and none of them taught me anything about what a loving Father was like – they did however teach me to be scared of loud voices and angry men.

Enter my dear husband. In the past 35 years. He has patiently taught me more about what men and fathers are like, than I ever learnt in all the years before we were married. He is still teaching me about man-speak — because the way that men think, is a total enigma to me. Until he came along there were no men in my life to contribute any insight into the male psyche;  so whenever they got loud, I wanted to run! 

However, I also expected men to ignore me, because that’s what happened regularly too. To avoid the grumpy disinterested men in my life, I learnt to hide my personal self away. I came from a female dominated family line, and that means I don’t understand spontaneously, or naturally, how men think. Why they do and say what they do and say – puzzles me and I have very little insight. Sadly, some of the things that we do, even as adults, we do defensively, sometimes automatically.

The bible tells us that our God is a “Father to the fatherless.”  I want to encourage anyone with the same problem that I have had, to ask for this heavenly revelation. We were not just born again into God’s family, we have also been ADOPTED by Him. Adoption means choice! Father God can definitely supply this kind of need for validation and security etc. because He is everyone’s Father and He knows all our names. People like me need to pray over every verse that talks about the Fatherhood of Almighty God, and deliberately renew our minds – this is how we will change our thinking.  👋🏻