Forgiveness

P 2795 We serve Jesus … no matter where we are.

/ DVH

The MSG bible says this, about working for a living and serving others: “Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.” Colossians 3:23-24.

Well that’s pretty plain eh? In a nutshell these verses explain what our attitude is to be toward our working life. We are serving the Lord in our place of employment, no matter what the man says … we are no longer just working for the man! Submission, thoroughness and meekness are not signs you are weak, or a loser or  – they are a sign to the Lord, and others, that you are following Him, no matter what people say. If you are doing it right, people may not agree with you, but they will be attracted to the Saviour within your life and heart.

We are not influenced by this world and its upside down ideas anymore. We have a whole other way to live, and not just at our house where we feel safe. The way we live now, is to ask for the Holy Spirit’s help and seek His transformation in every situation.That means we will be a better employee than anyone else, because we primarily serve Jesus as He leads us in His ways, in our place of employment. 

Now if your earthly boss wants you to do something dodgy, then you will have to take the time to give him or her your opinions, prayerfully and respectfully. And then politely decline. But feel free to tell your boss that you serve Jesus and that means you won’t lie, steal, manipulate or cheat others. You can also tell him that the UP side of your beliefs is that you won’t lie, steal, cheat or manipulate him either! Be prayerful and remember: “Help! – Is a prayer!”

“When we are pressured to do something wrong, we need to depend on God’s power to stand firmer against evil than we ever believed we could. Yet we also need to bear Christ’s word of compassion and forgiveness when we find that Christians cannot over­come all the evils of the world’s workplaces.” (The Theology of work.)

Meanwhile we need to engage with, and take every opportunity to practice listening to the Holy Spirit, instead of trying to manipulate anybody else into doing what we think will benefit them. Even if we know personally, that our plan is better!  I honestly think this is where a whole lot of people have missed the rails and been sidetracked. Manipulation, no matter what our motivation is, is not God’s Way. His Way always involves people’s freely-given choices. 

Some people vacillate between wondering if they should stand up on the tearoom table and start preaching about Jesus … but that thought terrifies them … so they shove that aside … and do nothing at all. They turn into ‘undercover brother instead!’ I truly believe you can serve Jesus and others, and not be a bible basher or an evangelist. You just need to be ready to give an account for the hope that resides within you, and let love rule. Simply be ready to talk about the Lord as opportunities occur, and He leads you. Feel free to be natural, and be sweet and kind in your speech, not pious!   

The Lord talked a great deal about faithful employees, and I recommend that employees or employers read His parables prayerfully because they are relevant to working situations. (Matthew 20:1-16;  Matthew 25:14-30; Matthew 7:24-27;  Matthew 21:28-32; Matthew 21:33; Luke 16:1-13; Luke 17:7-10; Mark 13:34-37) Jesus’ parables were often in the context of a manager and his workers. They highlight the servants loyalty to their master, and his instructions were a premium point in these stories. 

We don’t have two lives! One at work and the other at home. HE is our precious Lord in either place. Otherwise it is like trying to wear two hats. Plus it’s in opposition to what the bible says! His book says we work for the Lord wherever we are. We don’t just work for money – we live and work and receive our reward from HIM. We care about the way we treat others because this is our mission field. It is extremely important to be prayerful over the way we use our time every day. A Christian will work harder, as well as more efficiently than the next guy, who cheats on his income tax and feeds the boss bribes at the pub…

Ephesians 6:5-8 says:“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favour when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.”

This is a big subject and there are a lot of scriptures pertaining to it, which is good, because work is a big part of most people’s lives! I think this work ethic applies to all of us, even those engaged in caring for their homes and kids. I will leave you today with my initial thought: We serve Jesus no matter where we are. Bye. 👋

P 2744 Beware of bear traps.

/ DVH

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength of my heart and my portion, forever.”Psalm 73:26. In a nutshell I think this verse means this;  all by myself, trying very hard and with my best intentions, I will probably fail! I wanna say that there’s a very strong possibility of a probability of a maybe, that I won’t be successful. Sigh. However! This verse makes this clear, I am not meant to rely upon my own strength, because now – praise God!…

… Now, I have His strength. A strength that I know carried Jesus through everything— including all the torture, and on, and to and through the cross. I want to remember that when I am pushed and prodded by some enthusiastically grumpy person, or when someone else’s actions are stretching me …  Jesus remained silent in the face of His accusers. I wish I did. 

For so many years I’ve been trying to kill off that particular bit of my flesh. I long to have the ability to remove the desire to ‘pay back in kind’ because so far my temper rises and I’m a dead duck! Sadly, after someone else has vomited their grumpy thoughts all over me, if what they are saying is error – I feel this almost irrepressible urge to straighten that other person out. My subtitle on this subject is: ‘I would want to know if I was wrong so they will too.’ Yeah. Right. 🤪 Have I mentioned that I have a tendency to be optimistic as well as unrealistic?

Today I have some observations that may, or may not be helpful when some schmuck – did I say that out loud? – clomps all over your precious little tootsies with their hobnail boots … and then … they don’t say “sorry.” Actually, most of the time people have no idea what they did. But at other times their not-so-friendly-remarks are definitely done on purpose. Somehow their aim – to hurt or not to hurt – does actually matter, strange as that seems! This situation is made even worse if the perpetrator says something like : ”I don’t mean to upset you, BUT” … and then they hit you with a triple whammy. And yes, I understand that using words like perpetrator won’t help me! 

It seems to me that it is useless to take the unrealistic position of waiting for the other person to realise what they have done… because, as I just mentioned, perhaps they already know and can’t wait to pounce on you – again. At other times, maybe they haven’t a clue and their flesh just failed them. However, it is much better to call whatever happened sin, and go on to deliberately and personally forgive them — than it is to invest emotionally in the entire scenario and try to prove your point or excuse their behaviour. Bin there dun that, sometimes other people don’t wanna know if their not-so-helpful-attitudes hurt you. 

Meanwhile, for us, as His kids, it’s a win-win situation. We get to humble ourselves and they get a load of grace they obviously need. I have found it is very helpful to look at sin in that way. When someone hurts me, maliciously or not, I can choose to release God’s Grace into their lives, since, in my view, they apparently need it. The next thing to do is to give the whole kit and caboodle over to the Lord and deliberately don’t remember. Remembering someone else’s sins is a bear trap. Remembering brings everything up and starts counting how many times that person has done bad things before. It’s a bad time to try to strengthen your memory muscles!

When bad things happen to us, instead, we need to remember the Lord, and what He has done. He does not send difficult things to punish us! Those things are part of living in a fallen world. Instead God is giving us an opportunity to get to know that part of His heart better. We suddenly have a shared experience. He knows what it is like to be defenceless in front of people with tongues as sharp as razor blades. Jesus already PAID everyone’s debt – and that includes the person who was just horribly rude to you – whether that other person knows this fact or not. Let’s remember our responses change us.

Forgiveness is not an optional extra. It’s an essential premise our entire new life is founded on. Check out the bible – this is not just a thought … it’s a theme!  We cannot always avoid the bear traps of this life, even though they make us miserable, but the choice is not whether we are going to let that particular bear trap off the hook – so to speak, but whether we are going to OBEY THE LORD OR NOT. It is always a choice. May God bless us all with great strength. Amen. 👋

P 2738 Avoid at all cost.

/ DVH

“Jealousy is as strong as the grave.” Song of Solomon 8:6. This was the first scripture that I thought of when I began to think about jealousy. I think each of us may have experienced that things like bitterness, resentment, jealousy, rage, lying, etc. etc. aren’t good for spiritual health. None of these things are great traits to have, for quite obvious reasons. They can tie you up in knots long after the object of that stuff has left this world. I’ve found one thing leads to another and suddenly you are swimming in bad stuff — justifying yourself all the way.

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”James 3:14-16. This scripture really impacted me, it exposed the thought that selfish ambition is a companion to jealousy. And James does not fiddle about, he calls it demonic – and unspiritual. Did you notice that this awful stuff goes right for our jugular? It attacks our hearts. Oh my! James goes on to talk about what real wisdom looks like, but I want to talk about the nasty bits today.

Here’s why. The jealousy bug has bitten me fairly recently. This thing that has happened involves people that are still with us, on earth, so I cannot give you details. However, someone appeared to be stealing something that was actually MINE. I know that intent counts because these people didn’t think it would matter, but unfortunately, when informed of my pain, they wouldn’t stop. That’s when I learnt that the desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who appeared to be stealing something that I know is mine — was sadly much bigger than the idea that I am a person of GRACE. I know I’m not perfect, by any means, but I honestly thought I was bigger inside than that!! Sigh. Reality rush.

Then I discovered why. Jealousy can have roots. This thing had its roots in my childhood. This rotten stuff can hide itself away, as it is actually stealing the life of God within us. It steals energy, focus, plus our very expensive, it cost-Jesus-His-life-to-give-it-to-us … PEACE. Here’s something to think on about that: “A peaceful mind gives life to the body, but jealousy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30. As if there is not enough going on inside my skin, daily! Thanks for bringing that up, James! Meanwhile I’ve now learnt from further study that our God is a jealous God. That thought made so much sense to me,if I bow down to, or give in to jealousy, then I am worshipping that thing, not the Lord!

At the same time, I also realised that I was working very hard to do something about my actual bones in the natural, older people have to think about that. I was physically prepared to take medicine, do weight-bearing exercise, and generally move around more to avoid bad bones. Yet, at the same time, I was also shooting all that effort in the foot, by holding onto something I could not change, because – hullo! Jealousy rots the bones!! All because it involved someone else’s behaviour!  That whole thing gave me an excuse to feel sorry for myself.

This stuff all transpired when I became obsessed with someone else taking something from me I didn’t know I valued until they took it! Even more sadly, the people involved had no comprehension of what they were doing – they thought they were helping me! Talk about throwing petrol on a grass fire! 🔥 Have you ever tried to change someone else’s mind when they think they are righteous? You may as well try to hold back the ocean.

I have had so much legally, legitimate stuff to be angry about, that I could have divided it into categories! And all this happened despite me repeatedly disclaiming the idea that the helpful people’s actions were hurting me, not helping. Whoosh! That stuff went way over their heads. It is good to know that it’s only truly helping someone else, if the person who needs the help actually wants it, right? DUH!! 

Sorry. After I wised up, and repented — I told the Lord that if He wants me to have what was being stolen, then HE would have to get it back for me. And then I stuck to that thought. Plus I had to add in repeated forgiveness, because they would keep harping on the so-called fact that what they were doing was good for me – bless them!!… Says she with gritted teeth. 😬  I repented of jealousy, anger, and wanting to whack people. Hmmm …you know, I just gotta say that I think it is a mistake to colour in bad stuff with a pretty pink pencil and pretend it is not what it is. Sin.

So I am on a learning curve. I’ve learnt that jealousy is to be avoided at all cost, because the ramifications to our spiritual life and well-being are not worth it. Bye. 👋

P 2737 Wound management.

/ DVH

Resentment is like dirt in an open wound. The wound may close, but we our healing is circumvented because there is still bacteria inside. I just want to mention that the wound or the bacteria may not be our fault, it may have come from somewhere else, or even somebody else. But it’s what we do with that wound now we have it, that matters. Ignoring it, or even peering at it, poking it, and making sure it is still sore, will not promote healing.  

Healing comes from thoroughly cleaning out wounds  – with some sort of disinfectant. So it is going to sting! Then we apply soothing ointment, and cover that injury with the same blood we are covered in. Our ointment comes from the Presence of the Holy Spirit – He knows how to soothe every sore place. After dealing with it, we can leave the wound to repair itself, and get on with our lives.

Resentment will often remind us that we didn’t get what we asked for – because it loves to keep accounts of wrongs. Remember 1 Corinthians 13? “…Love keeps NO record of wrongs!” Resentment will take us out of love and chuck us into a side eddy, going round and round. It can swing our spiritual lives so we are now collecting bad dead stuff. It won’t let anything good in, but it twists and turns and shades our overall POV. Then it flings all that dead stuff out into the main stream to anybody who will stand still and listen, leading to gossip. This devilish trait will never satisfy us because it doesn’t produce anything but more suffering. And like a germ in a wound it leaves even more pus in its wake!

Human beings want INSTANT answers — but Almighty God loves constantly progressing relationships! This trait must be fostered by making painful choices. We deliberately leave behind the things that caused a wound and jump back into the fresh living water of the RIVER of God. Doing this optimises our healing. Our feelings can be overrated because they are often fed by stagnant water … plus they are addictive.

Father God wants a loving functioning relationship with each one of us – He lost everything He cherished through our forebears’ deliberate disobedience in the garden. Remember, man was made in His image – we are designed to be like Him, inside and out. The Lord Himself, plus Adam and Eve, all had sweet fellowship together in the cool of the evening – every single night! Right now, He is looking for sons and daughters, who will pay the price to walk with Him again. 

That means we will have to give up any and all hidden resentments, because those things can become an occupational enemy! The Lord is longing for true fellowship with people who value HIM – not for what He does but for Who He is – people who value Him so much they will lay aside every weight that slows them down. We were saved to walk with Him, daily, in the garden of our hearts. His heart is so BIG He has room for every human being that ever lived. But resentment will subvert His plan to love on us and consume our thoughts instead. 

Our God doesn’t just hand out assignments and stand back, waiting for us to complete them – He wants to come with us! Praise HIM, He will also lend us His glorious expertise, and a fresh POV when He does. The very best thing we can do is to go everywhere with HIM!  However resentment turns our heads and hearts away from what our Heavenly Father loves most  — PEOPLE! It grows in an atmosphere that does not include Him, plus it goes hand in hand with complaining. It narrows down any fresh possibilities so we become trapped in half-truths and animosity.

Resentment is also a thief. It comes knocking at the back door of our hearts supposedly to comfort us. It wants to have a cup of coffee or tea with us and then it will point out all the bad things other people have done to us – so we can sit and stew in them! It tells us it is protecting us from future pain so we must keep those hurtful people at a distance. This thing is an evil accountant and a collector, it will keep track of other people’s wrongs!  It produces the wrong sort of fellowship, including lying and distortion. Like every thief, resentment wants to steal — our hope, our peace, our joy, our worship and voluntary service for our King. That traitor wants to hide in dark corners and snipe at others. The solution is simple – don’t entertain it.

Here are some great scriptures to think on: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”Ephesians 4:29.“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”Ephesians 4:31. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; …” Hebrews 12:15.

Resentment is best dealt with early, because it has the awful power to reproduce and multiply. So we need to break off any suckers like that springing up in our lives,  like we would break off a plant sucker as it grows on a living tree …Break that thing off at the root. Otherwise it will steal all our joy, hope, and colour in our lives with bleakness, because it produces nothing of any worth. I urge each one of us to become adept at wound management – before any wounds poison our system. Bye 👋

P 2735 Who are you angry with?

/ DVH

If someone asked me that question I would probably say: “no-one.” Actually I might think about it for a bit, and maybe I would come up with one or two people that kinda irk me every now and then but my response would be: ‘… I’m not angry! No way!’ Now here’s a laugh for you … or you could cry. I’ve done both. Ask the Lord who you are mad at, and sit and wait for His answer. ps Don’t believe that little voice inside your head that says you are OK. That voice will tell you that you are a perfectly splendid person who never gets mad, it’s someone else’s fault for provoking you. That’s that liar – it’s not Jesus. 

At the same time it could also be you, making excuses for yourself. Err on the side of caution and press into the Lord about it anyway … and take a pen … because you are going to need one. Yeah, I know, I seem so sure of myself about this subject … that’s because I’ve been doing stuff like this for quite a while now. One time recently when I asked the Lord that question He said: ‘the postman!’  I’m like … ‘the POSTMAN Lord??? Really??? What on earth did HE do that gave me an opportunity to be angry at him?’ Then the Lord spoke this magic sentence “… remember when you were waiting impatiently for that important parcel … and it didn’t come?” … …

Aha! The Lord and I were about to have a teaching moment. I am dumb, but I have learnt not to talk over the top of Him! I’ve also learnt to agree with Him and let Him explain to me the error in my thinking. Plus I get a freebie – a way to deal with it. He gave me this picture and I kind of liked it – I hope you find it helpful. Suppose getting mad at someone else was represented with something concrete:  every time you get miffed at another person or situation because it doesn’t suit you – someone gives you an orange. Would you like to guess how many oranges you will have at the end of the day? Mine was 3 bags and still counting!  No wonder I am always tired!! I’m carrying around 3 kgs of oranges, voluntarily!!🍊

Meanwhile calling anger by another name does not change a thing. It just makes ME feel better and more in control. You know what I mean, calling it lesser things like – miffed, ticked off, irritated, cross, displeased, provoked and irked – those are just a few synonyms for angry, and there are lots more …!! 🙄 Just having kids can throw you headfirst into plenty of opportunities to be angry. Meanwhile if you actually stumble into rage, please count me out. I have no brilliant ideas for dealing with that one! Maybe take a cold shower??… Like I said … not a clue!

My very, very elderly parent forgets what she just said. And she also forgets what you said three seconds ago when you answered her. So she asks “How are you?”…   every three minutes. It seems like time stands still just being around her and you are caught in this time warp! You try to change the subject but the minute there is silence – off she goes again! That’s on ME, BTW, not her. I can, however, with the Lord’s help have compassion on her, my brain cells are slowly dying off too.

Another fav irritating thing that happens with astonishing regularity is caused by our dog!  She loves to bark at anyone who comes within a half a mile of our house. I mean they could be 4 houses down and just walking along, on the other side of the road, minding their own business … But she goes off her rocker explaining to us that there’s  a person! I roar at the dog, because I’m embarrassed at the noise she makes – but let’s not talk about me shouting at her, that’s another thing altogether!

Now over to a few solutions. Well there aren’t any. Just get over yourself and repent. My dear parent is going to continue to ask “how are you” because she’s stuck, and she’s polite and wants to contribute, and praise God she is still here to do it! And the dog is going to continue to announce every stranger who walks past our house. However, personally, I am getting so sick of collecting oranges! What to do? Here’s what the bible says: “Be angry but don’t sin, don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”Ephesians 4:26. Now that’s good advice … I need to take it … I often remember that scripture the day after I fall in!

Sadly, there are some things that we can let the sun go down on, and come up again, etc. etc. over and over. Here’s the only thing I can suggest. Forgive whoever it is on purpose. Go in person if you can and ask them for forgiveness, then every single time it comes up in your mind, or that person does whatever it is AGAIN, remind yourself you already forgave them, and repent for digging up dirt on somebody else. Next, deliberately take the time to ask the Holy Spirit if that irritation etc. is standing on something. Do I remember this advice all the time? Of course not!

Some things remind us of the past or someone else, and then we react badly because we are standing on a mound of hurt. Repent, forgive whoever it was and ask for healing. Other people’s sins should fade out of our lives – yes, even if they do continue to do the same thing over and over again. It is OUR sin we are concerned about … of course I am an abject failure at that one too!  My advice, don’t let anger ruin your days… and if you do! Repent quickly. Bye 👋

P 2725 Quit surviving and start thriving.

/ DVH

Almighty God is not going to adapt to our way of thinking. However, He has given us a Helper to help us to thrive in our new life – but we must learn to deliberately yield! Jesus Christ, and the way He lived His life here on earth, showed every one of us how to live. Personally, I have found that generosity toward other people and their actions, good or bad, opens the door to thriving.

This is why Christ came here … to DEMONSTRATE and ILLUSTRATE  how to live. I want to write those words demonstrate and illustrate over and over again … just to emphasise them! Jesus is God’s visual aid. He shows us that any human being can live like He did, simply because they have chosen to be devoted to Almighty God. The Lord came here, personally, to tell and show us the WAY God thinks. He released the power of heaven, so now we can choose to change the way we think and act. Try reading the gospels from that POV. Our gracious Heavenly Father will not adapt Himself to us and our self-centred ways… that is ill-informed theology … 

Instead, He sent His Son to live like we do. Christ more than succeeded in His appointed task. His death set us free from that prison of behaviour and attitudes we were stuck in – and He gave us a new life. A life of possibilities where we can now choose. The power of choice must never be underestimated. It provides a life where we are no longer alone, struggling to survive. Christ’s blameless death released the Holy Spirit and His Presence in our lives  provides us with the perfect clothing to wear every single day. Now, we need to choose to wear those clothes that the Holy Spirit has handpicked for us, joyfully! They are our wedding garments. 

Some of those clothes we’ve found we need, only become apparent because of PEOPLE. Some people are just simply “itchy and scratchy.’  Irritating people will be around us for this lifetime, as they generally, sometimes unwittingly, mess with our heads and hearts. These people can often be the people that are supposed to love us. People like this provide the irritation in our lives that will cause us to want to leave this world’s old garments behind and go looking in His Word for new ones! The truth is one of us has got to change, and most of the time, it probably won’t be them. We cannot change someone else’s behaviour, but we now have the power to change our response to their behaviour. 

When we choose to change our response, a new Person comes into our situation. The Holy Spirit. Forgiveness is never optional. Jesus had people who were difficult in His earthly life — some of them were family, and some were even His friends. He led a life of ongoing visible forgiveness. When we read “forgive one another as the Lord forgives you” – it can be easy to forget the punchline … WE don’t deserve forgiveness either! In my life there are times when I think people are like kryptonite. They can leave us on the floor, gasping for air. Unlike Superman, our Saviour laid His life down so now we have a way of escape.

If we want to go from surviving to thriving we will have to let go of the past, even if it was just 3 seconds ago! Then we need to deliberately choose to move on with the Holy Spirit as our Helper. The past is a trap. We have no control over it – it’s gone. And just like other people’s behaviour, it should have no place in our lives to influence us today. Here’s a little warning: we can say we forgive others, but the thing that will put a neon sign above the reality of that action in our lives, is a little word that often pops up – that person did it … “again.” That word ‘again’ is a sign post! Forgiveness always wipes the slate clean. God does not keep a record of wrongs so neither should we. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “… love keeps no record of wrongs.”

His love, when it is active in our lives, consists of laying aside everything that happens to us, deliberately. Instead we choose Him and His ways simply because He is more important than anything else. This is how we love the Lord back! He gave us all – we give Him ALL.  As it says in Hebrews 12:1&2 “ …let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, …” Let things go. I have found there are times when it gets hard to swallow my pride, because I’ve let the darn thing grow into a large lump in my thoughts! That’s why the bible tells us to keep a watch over our thoughts.

We can be daily learning how to thrive, as we live this life for Jesus’ sake. That’s our purpose. Christ was incredibly generous to us, so now we choose to become generous to others. He died to Himself, so we die to ourselves. We know that nothing ever happens to us by chance – because the Holy Spirit is permanently watching over us to guide us into the good works the Father prepared for us before we ever arrived here. We have been designed to thrive, not just survive. 👋

P 2700 Let’s keep our eyes on forever.

/ DVH

The bible tells us to “… above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life.”Proverbs 4:23. When I watch over my heart I am watching over who I am and what I produce!

Sometimes the hardest thing to watch over is our own heart. From my limited experience, other people often tread on someone else’s heart unknowingly. However, whoever started whatever has happened, if someone is offended, it means that there is something we both need to look at..Sadly, we can mistake somebody else’s motivation for evil intent, when the truth is this:… a whole lotta people are just big dummies, (like me), and they talk without thinking.

It goes without saying that forgiveness is the key that opens the door to understanding and reconciliation, but we all have people in our lives who are repeat offenders. So today I want to talk to the offended as well as the offender. Have you noticed how easy it is today to take offence? My first bit of advice to the one who is offended, is that forgiveness will require resolve, it will take self-discipline. There’s a happy thought! However, this is how we mature, and grow the fruits of self-control and patience…  by hanging on firmly to the VINE – true forgiveness is in that vine.

So we: “…set our mind on the things above.’ Colossians 3:2. Most growing points in our lives are a matter of forgiveness. The thing is, people aren’t doing whatever they did AGAIN – if we really forgave them in the first place! There may be some times when we read this bible stuff and say to ourselves, “yeah, yeah, great thought, but how do I do that?” I wish I had some snappy whizz bang methodology, that took care of our instant responses – but I don’t.

Here’s my advice for the one offended. My experience in this area of forgiveness has come down to two words – DO IT.  Don’t expect to feel good about it – just do it. Deliberately, and with great resolve, take authority over all the mean, niggly things you want to say to that offender, and ZIP IT. 🤐 When Jesus hung there silently on that cross for us. He gave us the power, by what He did, to shut up when we desperately want to put someone else in their place or comment on their behaviour.. 

Seriously, don’t give into your feelings for a minute, because you will find yourself circling the plug-hole going down for the last time! The bible says SET your mind because sort of kind of hoping the conflict will magically go away, will not work! Let me clarify this – we are changing an internal mindset in our lives, and doing that is not easy. Mindsets change when we consistently ask Him for His help,  use our faith, and keep our anger to ourselves. I say to myself: “I wanna be like Jesus and this is the Way to get there.” People who have no self-control haven’t totally realised what He gave us when He died for us. We already have forgiveness – LEARN TO SHARE. Read Romans! The more we die to self the more we gain!

Transformation takes hold when we find we can say something positive to the person who is jumping all over our last nerve. The bible says: “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who despitefully use you.”  Look, we are not talking about a walk in the park, we are talking about pressing into God until you forget what you were mad about! It IS hard! Hullo!! I say to myself at this point: “Oh there’s that thing that I am not going to remember, because it is a trap sent to distract me!”  That scripture from Colossians is not just a nice thought – it is an essential part of victorious Christian living! Why would we hand our enemy a loaded gun to shoot us? Disarm the gun.

Now to look at the offender: If something is your fault. If you opened your big mouth and hurt someone else and they tell you what you did … then don’t make excuses, and don’t give endless explanations… simply APOLOGISE. Humble yourself. You are not the judge of what hurts someone else! Actually we are not the judge of anything — read the book. Ask what you can do to make amends. People can easily forget that “I’m sorry” is not what the bible says. It says repent. Repentance involves humbling yourself and taking responsibility for what you did. Hurting someone else IS a big deal, because we don’t live by this world’s standards, now we live by His! And He clearly tells us not to make each other stumble.

Offending people is a big deal! I’ve met many people who say they are sorry, but they don’t go that one step further to usher in reconciliation. The aim of repentance is reconciliation. We need to remember that in this Christian life our hearts belong to Him. Father God takes this stuff seriously – it cost Him His life!  When people are mean to you they are being mean to His child. This means we need to pray for them!  Christ’s ministry is all about love and reconciliation, and that is our ministry now too. To live this way, it will help us to keep our eyes on forever, instead of just the here and now. Bye. 👋

P 2686 The way we see others …

/ DVH

makes all the difference!! 

For years I had quite strong expectations regarding the people who are close to me – people like family, friends and relatives …I hoped they would be nice to me because I had a broken-heart because of a difficult early life. That’s what you call an unwise expectation!  I was very immature and quite dependant on other people’s approval. My time recently has been spent growing UP!

I think I kind of expected other people to be nice to me because I was abused as a child. And those people who hurt me, were still in my life. Some of their personal faults and proclivities meant they actually formed my world-view in the first place!  But I’ve learnt over time, that unless Jesus is in charge we all remain the same, and sometimes … we can get worse! Putting the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket is a very dumb idea.

This was kind of like a giant chip on my shoulder, but I didn’t know it was there, I thought how I felt was normal because of my greatly disrupted early life. I saw myself as broken and it was someone else’s fault, not mine, so I couldn’t help it. Meanwhile I totally ignored the fact that as an adult I now had the power to change! Everyone else seemed so normal, and it often looked to me like I was the odd man out. I did not make allowances for the fact that others are as broken, if not more so, than I am. We are all broken in different ways.

When we choose to view life through pain, sorrow and suffering, it can result in a distorted view. I was a very disappointed, broken-hearted, and sometimes angry child – now walking about in an adult body, with a warped view of others. Sadly that meant at that time I was making a choice to go round and round in a little whirlpool, instead of advancing up the river, under the Lord’s loving Eye. Meanwhile, if these people happened to hurt me again, then that was often the final straw. That action meant that they would never change, they would never be nice to me! And despair joined the party.

I wish I could say that Christianity totally healed me from any of those thoughts and ideas, but it didn’t. It sort of kind of fed them, by telling me over and over that I was fine, God loved me, but I was definitely broken, it was not my fault and I desperately needed healing! I was one of those people who were never going to triumph in adversity purely because of my back ground. That meant that I chased healing up one hill and down the other, using pretty messed up faith. Unfortunately what I believed at that time actually cemented me into the very place I wanted to escape from!

That’s when the Lord began to deal with me. He was gentle and kind, but firm and unrelenting. He made it clear that I could no longer go forward excusing my behaviour whilst I was holding other people to account for theirs!  I love these words from the bible  “…but God …” because HE is always the real reason we keep moving on. He is so patient, and many times I’ve clung tightly to the words in Matthew 12:20, that say this about Jesus:“He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally He will cause justice to be victorious.”

I started to understand just how broken everyone else is. We all need healing, and the people I was interacting with didn’t know Him at all. That meant if I wanted to see real change then someone was going to have to co-operate with Him! He gave me this strategy: “What if you choose to see those people as human beings – not as someone who owes you something?” That meant viewing them as lost, broken, damaged human beings, just like me..

You know in all those years in the wilderness wandering around desperately looking for someone who could heal my broken heart, it never occurred to me that I had the power for change already …but I wasn’t using it. I could choose to forget the past and simply love the people I was avoiding or I disliked. He gave all of us that power at Calvary. He chose, and now I can too. So I did. I chose to believe Him and not how I felt. I let go of any expectations that the other people would EVER change and grabbed hold of His hand – because HE will never change. Now He’s teaching me to love the unlovely, the people who persecuted me, and those who were supposed to love me but they didn’t or couldn’t.

When I made that choice, it opened my eyes. I already knew lots of scriptures about forgiveness. The reality was I read them, and I prayed and I meant it. However, I got disappointed over and over again because forgiveness didn’t seem to help me with how I felt – and the other person did not change. It was then that  I saw that my forgiveness was conditional, it relied upon the other person changing.

Praise God my feelings eventually caught up with His reality. The way we see others, makes all the difference.  God  is gently teaching me His Way to love, how to look and see others the Way He sees them. If I don’t expect things from others then I won’t be disappointed if they lack the ability to love. I have to see everyone through His eyes and leave my expectations with Him. This life is about learning to love, even those people who don’t love us. When we live that way – we are truly free.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11.👋

P 2668 Shame, the disqualifier.

/ DVH

Over the years in my Christian life I have observed that if I let shame in, then the result is I stop trying to hear God and avoid Him instead! Plus I leave off reading the bible and skip church. None of that stuff is good! I’ve disqualified myself because I am feeling bad about something I have done, or I am contemplating doing. Shame creates a need to hide. Adam and Eve did! It is a fact of life that every single person on this planet has down times. Times when our attitudes are not at their optimum, when life is not one glorious victory following another.

Shame is a tool of our enemy to send us spinning off in the wrong direction. We end up looking at ourselves, as well as how we feel about what we have done etc. – instead of looking at the Lord – Who is the Author and Finisher of our faith. The saddest thing is this – sometimes shame has its roots in real sin – sin that needs to be confessed and repented about. Confession clears away any reason the enemy has to accuse us and cause even more shame.

There are many people in our churches who go regularly week by week, and they are in all kinds of pain, because they are carrying shame, for things done in the present or the past. Perhaps they don’t want to do something that they keep on doing, but they just cannot find a way to stop. Or they are ashamed because they are not doing what they think they should be doing. Feelings demand a whole lot of work and energy. We can end up in an emotional washing machine, getting more and more agitated, drowning in our own despair.

Shame is a cloak. A substitute for conviction, which leads to repentance. Some times shame has been thrown over a person in the past, by someone they regard as an authority, and this other person gave the one who is ashamed, strong logical reasons why that cloak should be worn. That, BTW is a sign of control. Anybody who tries to control us is not on the Lord’s side, whether that person seems to have good motivations or not. Shame has its roots in fear. It can’t grow good fruit, its roots have not gone down deep into LOVE and acceptance.  

The bible tells us to ‘agree with our adversaries quickly’ –  that way we can also quickly repent, and instantly dismiss shame. When we come to Jesus we are given freedom, there is no control. However, shame may also do it’s best to separate us away from the very One Who came to redeem us. It will cause us to hide from Him. We can even end up living a life that is a lie, pretending we are fine when we are not, and hiding our true selves from everyone around us.The sad thing is;  we have no reason to be ashamed because we have His promises in writing!In 1 John 1:8-10 and 1 John 2:1-2 it says:

“If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—simply come clean about them—He won’t let us down; He’ll be true to Himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. ..”1 John 2:1-2 says this: “My little children, I am writing these things to you, so that you do not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.”

The most important thing about these few verses is the fact that forgiveness always rests on the Lord’s Character and His Character is perfect! It is in Christ’s Character to tell the truth – and the truth is, we have already been forgiven. The second most important thing in my opinion, is this: honesty and confession are the only way to go. It’s not the most comfortable approach, but it is the only one! When we let light pour into the darkness we no longer have to be ashamed, we simply need to be honest and confess our faults to Him, and to others. Because the Lord Jesus Christ is our God-sent, God-given Lawyer! He is our Defence Attorney before the throne of God. He won’t give us a character reference – instead, HE SIMPLY POINTS TO THE CROSS. You might want to sit and stew on that for a while. 

Our part in this process is to be honest with Him, and ourselves, and use our faith to believe that He does not lie and we are not some kind of mad-exception to His poured out love. Shame must never be our cloak – Christ’s BLOOD IS ALWAYS OUR CLOAK.  If we accidentally crawl out from underneath the Lord’s provision of forgiveness, then we need to repent quickly, make reparation where necessary and move on. Let’s not let shame disqualify us from living a brand new life, free from the past, and our own sinful stupid decisions. Bye. 👋

P 2561 Anonymity can be a great blessing.

/ DVH

When you were a kid did you ever wish you had a cloak of invisibility? I did! Especially when an adult was coming at me with something in hand to punish me. Whether I was wrong or not …I truly felt I needed that cloak!. Unfortunately my mouth let me down a lot and I usually managed to say some dumb thing, or argue with my parent, and that resulted in even more discipline! I just kept digging holes with my mouth instead of remaining shtum. Kids have limited wisdom! 

However, that is not my reason for talking about anonymity today. In my opinion, fame is fleeting. The people who pat you on the back on the way up, will kick you in the tush on the way down! Fame is not always what it is cracked up to be, you only have to read the news to see that. Famous people are subject to a great deal more criticism and critique – the word jealousy springs to mind.

These words from Galatians 5:15 in the bible leap out at me: “It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?”

Fame is not only overrated, it is most definitely NOT OUR aim.“For even the Son of Man did not come expecting to be served but to serve and give His life in exchange for the salvation of many.”” Matthew 20:28 TPT. So let’s get this sorted … the One Who saved the world, did not aim at fame, or power, or notoriety … Jesus Christ aimed at elevating Almighty GOD when He saved US – not Himself.  Which may well be the reason that most kids today know way more about Star Wars, Harry Potter and Pokemon than they do about the Lord Jesus!

Over the years I have come to notice that we kind of look down a bit on our faithful Sunday School teachers, or Religious Educators in schools, as being a bit old fashioned. But these people know all about anonymity. Most of us won’t have a clue about what they do, week by week, so the children of these times can find out that the Lord’s Name is the name of a wonderful Person … not just a swear word. Today I want to take the time to remember those who faithfully serve. It seems to me that most of the time nobody notices what they do. 

You know who I mean. Brother So-and-so, who faithfully puts out the chairs week by week and is always up for a letter box drop to let people know where your church is. Or Sister-I-forgot-her-name who calls up younger Christians regularly to make sure that they haven’t wandered off the path. She also goes to the hospital to visit people as well calling into homes. She prays for the saints that are sick, and sincerely asks them if she can help in any way. She’ll probably hand you a cup of tea or coffee next Sunday!

I find it fascinating in a world that is obsessed by fame that these quietly achieving servants of God go virtually unnoticed. Because these people are the ones who actually understand they are not here to be served, they are here to serve. Oops! I think I said a bad word. That would be the word … SERVE. In this blab it and grab it, everything belongs to me lifestyle, where my service has to be noticed or I won’t do it — we are incredibly fortunate to have any people who still think that following Jesus means serving others. Because I strongly suspect the idea of serving the Lord and others nowadays, means other-people-are-supposed-to-serve-me and make my ministry famous. 

Many people want to be like the characters in the “Cheer’s Bar” on TV,  we want to be where everybody knows our name! Well I want to point out that if we are following Jesus, then those steps always go down. Not up. They will lead us on an excruciating journey like the one HE had — carrying something that weighed 165lbs (75kgs) on bloodied torn open shoulders and back. Not to mention a horrendously painful headache! Let’s think about carrying that lot up and down through a large city to a hill outside it, where the people we pass by yell abuse at us. 

Even when we arrive at our destination, we will be flanked by known thieves. Our reputation is in the bin. People jeer as they see us, because human beings have an incredibly perverted sense of winning when someone else appears to be losing! Humility is lost on most people. Yet while Christ was suffering excruciating pain He still breathed out forgiveness. That’s real service. We are called to be laid-down lovers of Jesus – that means, my kingdom go – His kingdom come.

Today, more than ever, we need to follow Christ into serving mankind by demonstrating His love to people who will never deserve it. And anonymity can be a blessing. 👋