“For when I brought your ancestors out of Egypt and spoke to them, I did not just give them commands about burnt offerings and sacrifices, but I gave them this command: Obey Me, and I will be your God and you will be My people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you.” Jeremiah 7:21-23.

“Why are you so polite with Me, always saying ‘Yes, sir,’ and ‘That’s right, sir,’ but never doing a thing I tell you? These words I speak to you are not mere additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundation words, words to build a life on.” (Jesus is speaking.) Luke 6:46.

Without obedience, our foundation in the Lord can be a bit wonky. He will never let go of us, but if we ignore Him and don’t obey Him, we are letting go of our relationship with Jesus. It really does matter if the Lord tells you to go and fix things with this or that person. Obedience is not just witnessing about Him, it is the every day practical submission we carry out as we deliberately obey His Words. The Lord Jesus loves us so much — He doesn’t want us to carry those things around inside us. That’s a burden that needs to be thrown down at the foot of the cross. He carried it for us, so we don’t have to.

When it comes to forgiveness there are no exceptions.  God tells us these things for our own good, not because He is a control freak. Why would we choose to walk around in satan’s backyard when God has already picked out His pathway for us to walk on? Unforgiveness nails one foot to the floor, and then we go round and round talking about it – trying to figure out what to do next about that person. Ruminating over imaginary conversations that never work out IRL. Instead, go and ask for the Lord and your abuser’s forgiveness for ‘not loving your enemy and not doing them good.’ It’s probably best not to use those exact words BTW. Remember – healing often needs time – and forgiveness sets me free. 

God’s plan for us is a plan for our good, it includes righteousness, peace, love and JOY, as we walk with the Holy Spirit. He has plans to give us a hope and a future. We can short-circuit His processes when we choose not to obey Him, and our foundations will rock and creak. That’s because they are not fixed on what Christ already did. Jesus did what He did so we can have the freedom and grace to forgive others and live free from all kinds of angst and fear.

Forgiveness is not about giving permission for someone to keep tormenting you. Instead it teaches us to speak one of Almighty God’s languages. Some things work so much better when they are a fixed part of our lives, and obedience and forgiveness are two of them. Jesus forgave us. He didn’t just forgive the men who killed Him – those words from the cross have echoed down the centuries and provided access for us here and now. Forgiveness is a lifestyle choice not an optional extra. 

When we live in unforgiveness, we are rebelling against the very thing that the Lord came here to do for US. Living like that will expose us to self-deception. His blood is our permanent refuge, so put the past under His blood. I don’t care what the person who is still hurting you did. You need to be free of it.  Freedom doesn’t always come when the other person acknowledges their sin – it comes when we choose to put our focus on Him. If you don’t put those carelessly repeated actions down and walk away it will strangle your own faith.

You don’t have to like people to forgive them. And the bible doesn’t say “feel like it” – it just says do it! Remember love is a choice not a feeling. We put our hearts into compromising positions when we harbour unforgiveness. Please remember there are often a lot of things we don’t know about that other person that could be causing them to behave the way they do. Plus I have noticed that when two people collide, one of the best ways of finding resolution is for one of them to change the way they respond to any oppositional stimulus. Be that person – the peace-maker.

I have forgiven a number of people a great deal of manipulation, hurt and vicious behaviour, some of which was deliberately malicious and some of it was unwitting. Some have even insisted that I vindicate their behaviour … but I declined, because their behaviour is not my responsibility. I refuse to take somebody else’s response into account, or let it influence my own actions, as I continue to move forward toward Him. 

If I need protection from an aggressor then the Lord will tell me to avoid them. He has told me to “leave now,” when I was in danger of being hurt again. At the same time, I’ve learnt some things can’t be easily resolved. They need REST, not instant RESOLUTION. Forgive, and then let Jesus do what only He can do. At the same time resist the temptation to hold a grudge. If it comes up again then I forgive again, and give it to back to Him again. We forgive others because God says so. We do it because He told us to do it. It becomes so much easier to do the things He asks of us, when we choose to obey Him. That’s why forgiveness is foundational in its importance. Bye👋