Flattery

P 2987 Tell someone what’s good about them.

/ DVH

“So I say to my soul, “Don’t be discouraged. Don’t be disturbed. For I know my God will break through for me.” Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise Him all over again. Yes, He is my saving grace!”Psalms 42:11 TPT. Critics often spring up all around us like field mushrooms, but an encouraging soul is a joy to those who live with them.

I have the above thought from Psalm 42, practically every single morning. Actually I think I have had it for a little bit more than 8 years! Daily I sit and stare at a blank page in ApplePages and wonder – what on earth I am going to write this time? My hubby often sends me scriptures that have spoken to him that day, and they inspire me into the flow of what God wants me to say. But sometimes I just have to tell my soul to “cheer up and get going!”

I think talking to our soul when we are under stress or strain is good for us. It establishes Ownership at a moment of great vulnerability. Psalm 42:11 says that like this in the KJV:“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”The Psalmist instructs his soul to turn away from despair and focus on God’s goodness and help. In other words, He’s talking to his own soul and telling it what to do. This is a fantastic thing to do, my spirit is the boss of my soul.

For me, the “hope in God” prayer is right up there with the “help” prayer…It sits right next to the: “I’m in pain and it is awful” prayer. I also have often prayed a prayer that says: “God can do anything.” I hold fast to that one too, and sometimes I throw in: “You can get me through this Lord.” But there are times when all I can do is to mumble: “God You are good.” I’d love to tell you that after praying these prayers the pain or hardship just melts away … but it doesn’t. Praying like that simply pulls my focus back onto Him and reminds me that I am no longer my own, SomeBody bought and paid for me!

Then I start to remember that Jesus suffered too, and He has always been utterly righteous, and He did not deserve what happened to Him. The Lord bore it all bravely, mostly in silence. There are definitely days when  I pray to be more like that! Faith to me, is utterly relying upon the Holy Spirit to get me out of whatever mess I have fallen into – whether it is pain or some dumb thing I have said or done. The truth is, I can’t live without Him and His wonderful guidance and help. At the same time I want to say that I’ve noticed that there can be some time between this kind of prayer and the answer, but it gets answered!

Like you, I fight discouragement a lot. Personally, I think it runs riot in our streets. And the news does not help me with it either. To be absolutely honest with you, I’ve discovered that very few Christians are often encouraging — and encouragement from our brothers and sisters is like a service station we pull into when we are running out of love. (Petrol!) Today I just want to briefly touch on what encouragement looks like. I have a dear friend and whenever she encourages me, she is specific. She says things like this: “when you said or did this, or that, I was helped by it.” Specific encouragement is like putting the highest grade petrol into someone’s tank — it gives them a whole lot more ‘go!’ 

Encouragement is not flattery. Actually flattery is about gaining something for yourself. It happens when someone says nice things to another person for their own purposes. However, encouragement enables the other person to get up again, and go on. This kind of encouragement has no gain, except to benefit the other person. It is a spiritual impartation of courage toward someone else, with no gain except that you want to see that other person receive hope again. It assists the person who has fallen over and needs to be lifted up, so they can believe that God is for them. We all limp, and fall down. And we all need help to stand up again!

So there are two kinds of encouragement, one from someone on the outside of our inner life, and the one that we deliberately choose to give ourselves when we need it. Learning to encourage yourself in the Lord is a worthy occupation. Like everything else we do, it takes faith that God will not only hear us, but He will help us in our time of need. The wonderful thing about our faith is that we only need a mustard seed of it to access the kingdom of God! 

God knows whatever source we need, whether it is self-encouragement, by speaking to our souls, or external encouragement from our brothers and sisters. And in my experience, sometimes we need both! Encouragement is listed as a spiritual gift in Romans 12:8. But we are all instructed to do it in 1 Thessalonians 5:11. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

So keep up the good work and keep asking for His inspiration to encourage others. This road can be long and hard and we all need help along the way. Tell someone what’s good about them! And don’t forget, we can always speak to our own soul too. Bye. 👋

P 2677 Looking for the good.

/ DVH

“Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”1 Corinthians 13:7TPT. I highly recommend speaking life into whatever you can see that is good, and of God in other people. It is God-honouring to tell the people we know, what’s good about them. So today, I wanted to follow up yesterdays’ blog with something positive we can hopefully all do.

I am not talking about flattery. I believe we need speak real things, positive things, things that will help others feel encouraged and loved. You can be used by God to create a safe verbal shelter for the people you care about — and who doesn’t need that?! Flattery is also deceitful. It can’t build anything because it has a rotten foundation. Often the motivation behind flattery is to gain advantage over someone else.

I love this verse from Song of Songs 4:7: “You are altogether beautiful, my darling;  there is no flaw in you.” Oh, the things the Lord says! This whole book is about a love story and worth reading just from that POV. The bride/beloved in it, is not flawless, the Shepherd is talking about the way he sees her. On the other hand, unfortunately, the Shulamite woman can see her flaws clearly. Some of them are even physical, but the Shepherd sees so much more than she can see. When we look through LOVE we can see so much more. It is interesting to note that if we have a physical flaw, sometimes we cannot see beyond it.

The Lord rebuked me recently about the way I view myself and He said something that was so accurate I laughed out loud. It seems I avoid mirrors. If there is one in the room I look away from it, or even down. Apparently, I am ashamed of the way I look … so … I don’t look at me unless I have to! This attitude shows me a place inside, where I need His loving, caring touch. I know I need to let His Love into my mind and heart, or I will just pass that shame on to someone else in my own speech. 

The way the Shepherd in this book speaks to his bride, as well as about her, is a wonderful example of love building the other person up! Song of Songs is a fantastic illustration of the power of words to transform a life and develop LOVE. The Shepherd’s love spoken out, freely deposits that quality into the Shulamite’s life, and she does the same for him. That love transforms everything it touches.

This principle, prompted by the Holy Spirit, and activated in our own lives, can empower someone else to be bigger and more positive than they are. The other person discovers life is not about outward looks, or talents, it is about loving and being loved. In my opinion, there is a whole other person inside most of us, just waiting to come out. But we’ve learnt early on in our lives that freely expressing ourselves, and being ourselves, led to disapproval – so we quit.

Christians have the capacity and the power to speak life – Jesus died to give that to us. His truth was always tempered with mercy and hope. Everything He said contained within it the power to bring about transformation and security in love. BTW, I’m not talking about being fake, rather, ask the Lord to show you accurate things to say that encourage other people to see themselves through your eyes. This involves taking note of things that are often not easily seen. We glorify God when we notice His Ways in others.

The amazing thing is, you and I don’t have to be perfectly healed and totally whole to live this way. And the even greater bonus is that speaking out life actually increases our own faith. It takes faith to speak out kindness and love when what you are receiving from that person is anger, apathy or indifference. People don’t have to yell at you for you to know they are suspicious of you and your motivations – you can kind of guess….

Lastly I would like to include a short word of warning from 1 Corinthians 3:16: “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.” If I use my words to destroy you and I don’t repent for what I’ve done, I am actively cursing you. I am destroying God’s house! Not to mention the harmony that is meant to exist within that house!  Words matter. They are more than a means to communicate, they are the building blocks that open a way to build a place for God Himself to live in!

I exhort you to start praying the Lord will show something good, upright and beautiful about someone who inhabits your world. At home, at work, in your church. Let’s begin to look for the good in others and tell them. Bye. 👋

P 2613 Make it your aim to speak life to others.

/ DVH

Part of living as a member of God’s kingdom, is to love and respect Him, as well as others by the way we speak to them. Our society is pretty free with its opinions – we tend to throw them around like we are sowing wheat. As His representatives, we don’t tear things down, we build them up.

Today, it seems to me that the news services go out of their way to highlight difficulties. In fact every day, with astonishing regularity, we seem to have some catastrophic circumstance or other that is impossible to solve, and it is always some authority figure’s fault! That’s when opinions fly about like leaves on a blustery day. The Lord has been repeatedly teaching me that what I say matters. Words are meant to be tools that shape His kingdom in front of someone else’s eyes. Speaking life is not just about communicating, it is actively breathing His life into others using words. 

Because we are His kids, the bible tells us we have His authority to speak to other people in such a way that they will go away from meeting us, lifted up, or challenged, or comforted. I am not always sure I get that bit right, but … I repent … then I press on…!!  Speaking life means that I am communicating with someone else so that they feel empowered. They want to do or try something they have never done, or tried before. They feel loved, not rejected. Encouragement is a great gift — I urge everyone to ask for it. It can lift someone else up when they are in despair, and help them so they can move forward.

However, I am not talking about flattery, that is temporal at best. Flattery can be really deceptive and destructive. Flattering someone often means I have an agenda, and I am trying to sell them something. But speaking life is about speaking out something that is good, right, and pure. These words are containers of His love. It is often something sweet that our Heavenly Father wants to say to us, or someone else. Personally, I have found when the Holy Spirit says to me: “Say this to that person” – it seems like I am simply taking dictation, as there is a spiritual component to it.

He whispers something to me, and I simply pass that on to the other person. It may be about how well they are doing their job. Or their friendly face. Just simple things. A lot of the time it comes out in my own words. It is not the same as prophecy, but it can contain elements of that in what is said. As an observer, it definitely seems to me like more oxygen comes into the room and I think that’s because Jesus always inhabits what He says! People stop being aware of their failings and become aware of His kingdom because His Presence blows the irrelevant things away. 

This quality has been illustrated wonderfully for me when my hubby talks to complete strangers. First of all they seem to be attracted to Him. I see them look up and instantly smile. Secondly, because what he says is not religiously framed, they accept it immediately. I think it looks like they actually feel God’s grace on hubby’s words.

Human beings can have all kinds of theories about Almighty God  – but there is no denying it when He steps into a room. His people know Him … even if they aren’t His adopted people yet!! They are still His… “Delightfully loved ones…  ”  That verse goes on to say: “…if He loved us with such tremendous love, then “loving one another” should be our way of life!” 1 John 4:11. That’s great advice!

Hubby says that speaking out encouragement is like giving people courage. I like that idea – who doesn’t need courage? Some days I need it to get out of bed! What he says to strangers is personal, real and almost tangible. They often reply: “How could you possibly know that?” Then he says: “I don’t, but HE (points to the ceiling) does.” You know,  I have never seen the Presence of God make people anxious. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but I haven’t seen it. Our God IS love. When people encounter His unconditional love – there is no need for fear or striving – their heart has found HOME. 

Our daily task is to grow into that kind of generous, unrestricted love. That’s the only real assignment we have every morning. After that we simply pass on what we’ve been given. There are no agendas, no subtexts, we take the time to be His conduit toward that other person, as we relax into the fact that He loves us and them. … Then we just follow His instructions. Our words have power in them, they can build someone up – or leave them flat.

Jesus made His aim clear in John 10:10. “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” Bye.👋

P 2558 “You’re the goodness in my life.”

/ DVH

So click on the arrow and enjoy!! Those of you who are Toby Mac fans will recognise my title immediately. This a great track he made with Blessing Offor. ps If you have not met TobyMac, I highly recommend his music. This man is not singing lyrics that are theoretical, rather his music is drawn from his own personal walk with God – he has had his tough times like all of us. Blessing himself is well-named!

It’s Christian hip hop BTW. I’ve been introduced to the joy of hip hop by my three darling granddaughters – I love it! Well, the good stuff – there are icky ones and I give them a swerve. I think that music that is written from real life – using real words – is a big plus. In my head those rhythms and words kind of bop away in the background of my thoughts. Music is a great tool to help us pull focus as well as comfort us when we are struggling. And I love the cheery, chatty aspect of hip-hop. 

On to today’s blog … the other day hubby and I were chatting away and he made a comment that got stuck in my head and eventually my heart. He said: “Why is it that the church focusses so hard on what we shouldn’t say instead of focussing on and teaching us about how we should talk to other people?”  My answer is the same as usual … I always stick with my trusty “I dunno!” That phrase is very helpful, it takes all the pressure off me having to be brilliant instantly, and answer knotty questions. Particularly the ones that I have no clue about. But I thought about what he said quite a lot, afterward.

In the dim dark ages when I was a child, there was a professor on TV who talked about science. His manner and natural curiosity created a fascination with that subject that still continues in my life today. His catch cry was “why is it so?” — that got so stuck in my psyche somewhere and now I ask myself that question a lot. It seems to me that it is far more important to teach people how to SPEAK LIFE to each other, than it is to teach them not to be rude, gossip or swear. Abstinence creates a vacuum and things can fall into it!

In my experience, speaking life to others can actually become a way to relate to others – kind of a way of life – a good habit. I’ve watched hubby do it over and over again when we go on the road and he is talking to people-who-don’t-know-Jesus-yet. I’m not talking about flattery, or what my dear mum would call ‘palaver,” which is hollow and sounds wrong even when it comes out of your mouth. 

I’m talking about noticing a positive quality in another person and lovingly appreciating it, out loud. You operate with the purpose of building others up. It really doesn’t take that much more effort to find something good about someone else. Sadly, the bad things usually slap you right in the face, and you are left scrambling to escape. But if you can find a good thing to say to someone who clearly got out of the wrong side of the bed, sometimes that soft answer will totally turn away wrath.

Meanwhile the great point about speaking life, is this —when it is properly executed, it opens spiritual doors – and then you can shove love through the crack!!  It is all about paying attention to the person in front of you and noticing them enough to say something truthful that will build them up. When I am stuck I ask the Lord to show me what He sees.That’s a brilliant method BTW. The Holy Spirit is always so switched on to everyone’s hearts. I once asked the Lord what was wrong with a woman working at the check-out in a chain store, because if she was happy her face didn’t know about it! 

He said: “Her feet hurt.” So we did the usual, how-are-you-today-I’m-fine-how-are-you? And then I said: “This job must be so hard on your feet!” She looked at me with relief and she said: “They really are so sore today.” Like Aladdin said in his movie – it opened up “a whole new world” and we were able to pray for her sore feet! The conversation was over in minutes and she was smiling when we left.

The whole thing was a win-win situation, because I got to exercise my faith, take a risk and open my mouth. At the same time she felt seen, cared for, and momentarily understood! I mean nobody much sees the check-out person in a store, right? We can all just do the obligatory ‘how-are-you-today’ without even looking at them …but people don’t usually want an answer! My dear hubby always leaves people with a smile from ear to ear. Living like this changes the colour of everyone’s day. It’s great to speak life to everyone you meet. Bless you! 😇

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29.