Fair

P 3340 Learn to fight …

/ DVH

…for what is yours by birthright! And remember, we don’t fight against flesh and blood. It’s not your spouse, or your parents, or your uncles and aunties – it’s the devil! 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 :“The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.”

And Ephesians 6: 1-18 says: “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and He wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. This is no weekend war that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.                                                                           Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare.” 

We are in a battle, day by day, whether we like it or not, and even earthly soldiers get battle fatigue. However, we have the power of God within us to make the difference, and we need to use His power to help ourselves thrive in His Ways, and for the benefit of others. We don’t just fight under adverse conditions – we learn to thrive. Many times in our lives together, hubby and I have commented it seems like it is one thing after another, and another.

You can get very weary from fighting things. Like battling to maintain a Godly-attitude with His help; or not reacting to the same thing happening for the 479th time! Let’s face it satan doesn’t fight fair. he will kick you and beat you when you are down. One of the best weapons against despair and disappointment is the realisation that Almighty God will not ever give up on us. There are things float through our minds: “Does God care about what is happening to me?” Those are the battles we must fight in our emotions, and minds — they can be overwhelming, and potentially, destructive.

Remind yourself that Jesus took every single sin and mistake we’ve made to the cross with Him. And our God is not a fair weather Friend! Now you and I are blameless in His sight – that’s what His Grace is all about. The truth is a weapon we can use when our minds are full of doubt, unbelief, and anger or disappointment with ourselves or others. We must stop! — and remember Who we belong to now. It’s a supernatural task, so it needs supernatural tactics, not just mind games. 

We can’t continue to quote the scripture without knowing the reality behind it. The reality comes from living this life eating His bread, daily, and reminding ourselves of His blood over our lives, daily. I am reminded of someone else who tried head knowledge in Acts 9:11-17: “Jesus I know and Paul I know but who are you… ?” Being known by our enemy means we are bothering him. Good! Someone famous once said this, I have no idea who it was – “Be the kind of Christian that the devil says every day – oh no! He/she is up again!!”

People can sometimes be defeated because they are not pointing their will toward what the Lord wants. Obedience is essential. If you feel you can’t obey, then point your will toward His will and ask for the Holy Spirit’s help. When God talks about truth, He means His truth, not just something that sounds like truth, but it is indulging me in self-pity – or making me feel justified in my sad sack attitude. I cannot BE justified outside of the blood of Jesus. He gave that to me, I didn’t earn it… I’m so grateful for His goodness!

When God says “renew your mind” He is not talking about parroting off some scripture or other, as a weapon against satanic attacks. Our own personal knowledge of His goodness, is a mighty weapon. I stand and face my fears, or other people’s accusations and misunderstandings  by saying: “This one thing I know — MY GOD IS GOOD.” Ergo, if it is not good, then it is not God! … BUT!! Please remember to check your heart first, and  make sure you are not blaming someone else simply because you don’t want to deal with yourself! Our beliefs are not second hand they are up close and personal. I dun fell down that hole many times! Sigh.

When it comes to battles I am like a three year old. I run to hide in my Father’s robes. I want to be that spectator in Psalm 91… I don’t even try to peek out to see what is going on. I let what He has already done do the work for me. Shape your life around the Lord, make Him the centre. Then we can’t be dragged about by the winds of change and impulses of whimsy. If you are under attack drag your heart back to thinking about how good He has been to you. Read the bible aloud!

Let’s choose to live this life, by finding out stuff from the bible for ourselves. I am no longer a child, if I need to know something, then I ask the Holy Spirit to help me find the answer. Then I go and dig around in His book. Learn to fight for what is your birthright by the way you live. I need to participate and feed myself daily, digesting what He said with actions. We can’t win with hot air, we need real weapons forged in our lives with the fire of His life in us. Bye. 👋

P 3286 Cling to Him

/ DVH

Jeremiah 9:23: “This is what the Lord says:“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know Me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.” V25-26: “The days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will punish all who are circumcised only in the flesh— Egypt, Judah, Edom, Ammon, Moab and all who live in the wilderness in distant places. For all these nations are really uncircumcised, and even the whole house of Israel is uncircumcised in heart.”

This is the Lord’s pronouncement over Israel, He is throughly sick and tired of these people who say ‘yes’ but do ‘no.’  He makes it perfectly clear that being rich, popular, strong, and wise in this world’s ways, is not for His kids. What He is looking for is a people who know Him, and know His ways, and love Him so much they will follow Him wherever He goes.  And because of those deliberate choices then His ways will show up in every attitude and action they take. First of all let’s look at what delights God and what is His benchmark, because the Holy Spirit very kindly gave us a list!

He loves kindness, righteousness and justice. He operates from those things. It will never be enough to read the words and nod and smile, or even wipe away a tear. Crying is easy, changing is not! However, whenever  God speaks, He is telling us about Himself and we need to listen to Him. The Jewish people were not wrong in their desire to please Him but pleasing quickly turned into placating. They carefully implemented 613 laws to make sure everyone did what He wanted – and woe betide any Wally that tried to do anything else! They were punished by the religious. These dear people put Almighty God into a box of His own design. The glorious box He called Mercy and Grace, they misused the Mercy Seat and then they walked away from personally knowing Him. The Mercy Seat is a place of meeting, not just dropping off your sins like a dry cleaner! The thing that is heartbreaking is, He is so easy to know. He told us what He likes and doesn’t like. 

 
Where His chosen people missed what He was saying, was that they legislated something that was meant to flow out of willing obedience, compassion and a desire to honour Him. He wanted the Jewish people to love His Ways —not just salute the flag and run back into their old habits. Only to front up at Yom Kippur and pay the set price for their disobedience, lack of loyalty etc… once a year!  He is saying that lovingly, and willingly honouring His ways is the way we love Him. “But He’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbour, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.” Micah 6:8.  

You might want to pause and think on that.  Almighty God isn’t just looking for a transitory relationship— a sometimes on, sometimes off again, depending on their mood — a girlfriend. He wants a pure and holy wife for His Son! Father God is a parent. He wants someone worthy of His Son Jesus, and all Jesus has done for us — to be His Son’s precious Bride. Someone who is willing to have the Lord cut away everything that has taken up residence in our hearts that can defile us. Sadly, sometimes those things also define us – yet we are proud of them. His people back then were circumcised to show to the world around them that they were His children, but their hearts remained unaltered. The question I want to ask today is this: has our heart, life and attitude been altered by following the Lord Jesus? Or do we settle for the outward appearance of being ‘church people’ without any inner conviction and subsequent changes to our lives.

 
Do you want to truly delight God? Then let Him circumcise your heart. Not just fill you up with more information, more rules, or sadly, even more failure. Instead, surrender your whole life to Him, like Jesus surrendered His whole life for you – willingly, joyfully, devotedly. Falling in love cannot ever be a set of rules, it is a process of choosing to get to know each other, enjoying the other person’s ways. The Lord Jesus is totally acquainted with each one of us, who we really are. He already knows every single thing there is to know about us — and yet He picked us anyway! Amazing. Next time you sing: “Amazing Love, how can it be?” Please remember that. Gratitude is our only response. 

When we meditate and act on His words, HE becomes our focus. This is a lovely side-effect of loving the Lord that will improve our view of His kingdom, this world, and other people. We will lose all of our judgment and gain compassion in this process. But at the same time we cannot circumcise ourselves. That’s why we have the New Testament, to explain to us that He has, in fact, already done that. Praise God that He knows exactly the right time and place to put His loving finger on something that is holding us captive to our old way of thinking. The Holy Spirit longs to help us as we cling to Him and get to know His Ways. Bye. 👋

P 3097 How to live.

/ DVH

“But He’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbour, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.” Micah 6:8 MSG. 

I just love that this verse says don’t take yourself too seriously. In my life as I follow His instructions and learn to live by them, I’ve discovered accidental times of sheer bliss. It is as if heaven comes down in a little bubble of joy and hubby and I and the Lord are right in the middle of it. He’s laughing and we’re laughing – and we have no clue why we are laughing … we just are! And it feels so good! Eventually you end up wondering why you were worried, harassed or upset in the first place. That’s the place to stop wondering why, and just enjoy the moment! You and I ain’t getting out of this life alive!

Here’s an interesting thought that might help with that. We cannot spend the life we now have, trying to punish any previous generations for the mistakes they made. This life is not meant to be lived retrospectively – it’s too short. I’ve also learnt that deliberately avoiding someone else’s mistakes means I’m just going to make different ones! And I did! Groan!! Judgment always leads to a worse place than we started at.

Hubby and I have just returned home after a little time away in a peaceful place. I’m always glad to get home again, but boy I will miss the view. (See above.) We met a new group of tiny friends here. A small flock of sparrows appeared on our balcony. The bible says that the Lord feeds birds! I distinctly remember that God once fed His little birds my homegrown, much anticipated raspberries. I was pretty ticked off about it too! I didn’t even get ONE! Yes, I repented!

Back to our sparrow visitors. These dear little birds kept arriving early in the morning, and peering hopefully through the big glass window. I’m a sucker for any bird that sits on the back of a chair and sings its heart out! Meanwhile, those little birds really know how to eat, they sure can sock it away. The way they ate you would think they were emus!

OK – it seems it is time to be spiritual! Did you get that instruction in the above scripture? Right at the end, it says: ‘don’t take yourself too seriously, take God seriously instead!’ That’s the whole point of course. That’s why we are all still here, we are here to learn to take the things of the Spirit, seriously. Here’s a question I don’t much like to ask myself, but it has been helpful because it diagnoses my own attitudes rather quickly. What if you were the only person left in circle of family and friends who knows Jesus? Is your life a witness? Yeah, I know. Bring that up!

Meanwhile, we don’t just witness by what we say – we also witness by WHO we are – especially when people are looking, and …even when they aren’t. However, somebody, it seems, is always looking – I’ve learnt that the hard way. Living this life, the only one we have, for His sake, is part of taking Almighty God seriously. The same God Who heals the sick and raises the dead, makes the deaf hear and the blind see – is living inside you. Our job is to let Him out for the world to see. That’s what Paul did.

Paul often ended up in nine kinds of trouble because nobody could shut him up! Everywhere he went he found a public place and started telling people about Jesus. He told governors, kings, religious people, important people, business people, ordinary people, and some listened and some didn’t. Some hauled him off to jail, and he took that in his stride and witnessed to the guards instead!  Paul didn’t wait for revivals – he started them!

The thing that Paul’s life clearly shows me is that half-hearted won’t do. Whatever the Lord has in His plans for each one of us  – we need to make sure we listen, stay humble, and simply go and do it.  Paul was so brilliant, he could do more than one thing at a time. He witnessed, preached, founded churches, and wrote a huge chunk of the New Testament. But all of the Lord’s disciples, with the exception of Judas, gave up the rest of their lives serving God. 

It seems to me that we can sit about waiting for the Holy Spirit to do what He has already done, many many times before in the church’s history – or we can take God Himself seriously and get on with His kingdom’s business. We still have the book and that’s plenty to go on with! I would hate to think that we will spend our whole lives knowing we are saved, yet ignoring the many who are not. What Micah is talking about here is our attitudes – our attitudes are meant to lead to actions. 

We were saved to serve Him. Look! I’m truly sorry if nobody told you that you were actually giving your life away when you first said ‘yes’ to Jesus — but I just did that, right here, right now. So what are you going to do about it? That’s the real issue. How to live this life now, is all over His book. Bye. 🤪 !

P 2715 Learning to love means learning to obey.

/ DVH

“This is how we can be SURE that we love the children of God: by having a passionate love for God and by obedience to His commands. True love for God means obeying His commands, and His commands don’t weigh us down as heavy burdens.”1 John 5:2-3 TPT.

Because we love the Lord — we need to consistently remember that to Him, obedience is everything. Seriously, I know I flog this concept almost to death, but it is the truth. The way to show the Lord that we are utterly and totally HIS — despite any current circumstances — is to read His book and deliberately find the things that He has asked us to do, or not do – and then act accordingly. In His book God is imparting His heart and His will for our lives. I believe that we particularly need to pay special attention to those things we haven’t done before! Those things that we quickly read around, or glance at, hoping it doesn’t apply to us! 

While all this is going on — we simultaneously need to bear in mind one of the prerequisites to participating in everything the Lord has for us, is that we don’t care if we look like an idiot to other people! We will definitely die to self when self doesn’t get a say! Daily we understand that because we have chosen to follow Him, this way to live is part of the cost. Remember, He will not leave us, we have the joy of His Presence every minute of every day. Today and every day, our love for the Lord looks like obedience.. At the same time loving God also means we love His kids, in ways that they can see and experience. ‘Not just in words, but in deeds …’ 

Here’s a fun story from this trip. Hubby had toddled off to buy himself a pie in a country town we were passing through … when a much older lady walked by our car. She read the sign on the car door: ‘You are God’s happy thought.’ She smiled at me, then she carefully read the licence plate on our car. She waved, I waved, and she walked slowly back to her own car. Meanwhile hubby came back with his pie and the Lord said to me: “That licence plate says ‘Love looks like something.’ She read it. So what does love look like to her?”  🤪 Quick as a flash I told hubby what had happened, I held his pie for him and he chased after the older lady and he gave her a bookmark. She immediately wanted to pay for it and he said told her it was free. Love looked like a free bookmark to her. She waved happily at us as we left. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

That day was long and arduous but we kept on smiling as we remembered that dear lady. The Lord has taught me to look for the good. Basically what the Holy Spirit said to me was this — ‘This life IS difficult. And IF you only enjoy it when everything goes the way you want it, you will waste a lot of the time you have been given by being miserable. FIND THE JOY I send you in every day and you will win.” So now I’ve made it my quest to find the joy!

It’s good to remind ourselves that God’s kids aren’t just the people who go to our churches or attend other denominations. His kid can be an enemy who keeps on hurting you! He wants you and I to reach out to them – this is how we learn to love the unlovely. His kids are also people you and I have never met before. We met Steven, a former Chinese national who owns a motel. Hubby gave him a pen and a keyring for his lovely wife. The dear man was worried the keyring was too expensive, but hubby reassured him it was a gift. The result was Steven heard the gospel for the first time, ever. And we left him with gospels for his motel – we are hoping to see him on the way back home. 

When I think about it, I am not sure that we have taught our kids that following Jesus will probably mean that this life will have battles sent to destroy their faith. We cannot keep teaching the popular theology that says the Lord is supposed to make our lives happy all the time, and expect our kids to take our faith seriously. They will become disappointed when they discover it is not true. In our efforts to be fair and reasonable to all and sundry, we have lost the kind of absolutes that matter eternally. 

We can end up failing the Lord if we don’t take His command to love Him and others seriously. At the same time we need to love and tell the people in our particular corner of this world about Him! What we preach will never win popularity contests, and it will not lead us into a quiet life of ease. We will find our rest in Him, alone!  But when we said yes to Jesus we said yes to a different kind of life. A life of sacrifice and love for those who do not deserve it. It’s part of the cost of obedience.

Learning to love others through obedience is tough, but fruitful. However, if we have a part-time God there is a chance we will never know what shift He is on! Bye … 🤪 👋

P 2663 He is always with us.

/ DVH

1 Chronicles 5: 18,20 -22: “The Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh ,.. …They waged war against the Hagrites, Jetur, Naphish and Nodab. They were helped in fighting them, and God delivered the Hagrites and all their allies into their hands, because they cried out to Him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in Him…”

The Israelites figuratively stood behind Almighty God in all these battles. They sought His protection and He gave it to them…’because (the bible says) the battle was God’s…”  So what does that mean to us, here, today? How do we do that? How do we know which battle is about endurance, and which one is about God Himself dealing with the enemy who is dancing around in front of our eyes? We need a word from Him. Like … “stand still …” OR …”you have need of endurance.” That’s two I can think of! No matter which one is appropriate at which time  – He is always with us.

I’ve found the secret to discernment in times like this comes to me as the battle is raging …  in the heat of what is going on! The above scripture from 1 Chronicles says “…during the battle.” The Holy Spirit is not like a boss who says, ‘do this’ and then he goes off, forgets about you, and expects you to do whatever it is … whether you know how to carry out those instructions or not! The Holy Spirit is also ALWAYS WITH US. He wants us to win.

But, we need to remember that He will not intrude or force us to do anything. If we ever feel pushed, it’s not Him! The Holy Spirit is the same Spirit that was in Christ Jesus, and Jesus was gentle and lowly in His heart. He told and showed His disciples what to do, by example, but He did not force them to do anything! 

Trust often operates best right in the middle of the battle, while we are making choices – good or bad ones. Sometimes our choices sound like this: ‘I feel sorry for myself. The things that have been happening to me are awful!’ You know, this life doesn’t operate on fair or unfair…we are living in the devil’s territory – nothing is fair here!!  Another easy choice might be: “I am too tired to fight. It’s all too much for me.” Pretend your troubles are a boiling hot rock and hand it off to the Lord ASAP. Either way, you will get endurance!

Our enemy loves to play with our feelings. Our feelings have been his playground over many years. So our faith is stretched when things get hard. At this time, I am learning to refuse to let satan and his minions drag me down to their level. Just stretch out your hand toward the Lord Jesus, your victory and healing is right in front of you. God is with us in the heat of the battle.

Fighting for our new life in Christ is difficult when we are engaged fighting multiple difficulties, on multiple fronts, and it seems that our peace, our happiness, sometimes even our very life is at stake! Those Israelites we read about today were fighting four different nations at once! The best time to fight is when we don’t feel like it. That’s actually when our faith grows. Because it is being stretched, it is very likely that this process will hurt and seem hard!  We fight for our right to stand still and let Him do what He wants.

However, at the same time, our fight is also easy. We simply give everything over to Him. Israel experienced victory when they let Him have His way. Just hand your situation over and refuse to take that stuff back and worry over it. “His yoke is easy, His burden is light ..” So if whatever is happening is heavy and hard – then WE are still carrying it!!  Yeah, I know handing over things that are important to us can seem irresponsible, but this is part of salvation’s provision. Victory belongs to us. We no longer need to be tormented by whatever is going on around us. He gave us the power to relinquish those things that so easily beset us. Those things that happen and hang round our necks like weights.

As we learn to give these things to Him, we will become even more aware that He is with us. Focus on the Lord not the junk. Start thanking Him because He promised that He will be here, with us. He said:“I will be WITH you in trouble…”  In testing times, feeling around in our feelings to see if we feel like He is with us, is counter-productive! Ask Him to be with you and then believe that He will not lie to you. Because He won’t. 

The thing is, TRUST is one of the ways we learn to be LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT. We obey His directives, in season and out of season, and we turn over the results to Him. If we get it wrong, then we repent. Then we repeat, and repeat and repeat  – until eventually this becomes part of our new nature. There is nothing mystical about being led by the Holy Spirit, it is the most natural thing. He is present when we are born, and He is the best ‘Nanny’ and care-giver this world will ever know!

What I hear in my heart, when I am under pressure can be affected by my circumstances and how I feel, but His Word is rock solid – it never changes. We need to let Him help us listen as we read His book – whether the sky is sunny and it looks like we are winning, or there’s a hurricane raging and nothing is as it should be. I know, from my own experiences, that He will always kiss HIS book.

He’s with us in its pages, no matter what is raging around us. It doesn’t matter what version we have – it’s our faith that He will speak to us through what He has written … not the version! Our God loves us with incredible passion and He will always respond to our hearts seeking His. Let go and let Him fight for you. Bye 👋

P 2611 The way forward.

/ DVH

The first thing I want to say today, is this: without the Holy Spirit’s help – and He is available to each and every one of us – we cannot overcome sin and inadequacy by ourselves. Self-talk is not the answer, that’s this world’s answer! Confession, repentance, and humbling ourselves is the only way to thrive and survive in the Christian life. 

Jesus Christ LET Himself be humbled in the most extraordinary ways. Purity, blamelessness, grace and love hung dying on Calvary and He did nothing to deserve the appalling treatment He faced. We all know He only ever did humanity good. So if we meet ugliness from other people, we should not be surprised or offended. Jesus said that in John 13:15-17: ”I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

So let us not be arrogant and imagine ourselves as somehow superior to the world around us, just because we happen to know something they don’t.“What do we have that was not given to us?”1 Corinthians 4:7. Here’s a useful thing I’ve learnt … When I stopped trying to outtalk others, or even organise people into suiting me, and I accepted that only God Himself can change people … I began to see other people in a totally different light.

Before that, my judgmental attitude blocked my view of them, even though I had God-given spiritual eyes, my own judgment clouded them. At the same time, I became more and more blind to my own sins. Plus I couldn’t see other people’s needs or understand them. Instead I saw myself as far more needy and unable to change than they were, because of my difficult background. That’s called pride … … think about it!  

I felt entitled to be angry with the other people because they were not helping me. It was their fault I kept falling over, their meanness made me stumble. Yeah, I know wunnerful attitude eh?  I’m not writing this stuff because I am proud of it! Spoiler alert!… I still fall over. Especially when I am tired, sick, or out of sorts!  Like Paul, I’m not there yet, but I continue to aim at transformation. Sadly, if you poke me hard enough, I probably will snarl at you. Sigh.

What that means, is this, in those moments I have totally forgotten that MY debt has been paid in full.  I’m living like an unsaved person instead of a redeemed one! If I am wrangling with guilt and shame over the way I spoke to someone, I need to remember that Jesus paid for my sin. (He paid for yours too!)  Now, my problem is no longer about my sin, it is … what am I going to do about it? Will I shrug my shoulders, and walk on and hope my awful attitude will disappear— or humble myself, repent and let the Lord discipline me?

When I fight for myself to prove myself ‘not guilty,’ or to justify any other nasty thing, or attitude, I am voluntarily walking out of the new covenant. That covenant is my agreement with God that the blood of Jesus will save, cleanse and change me. Unfortunately, at the same time, I am also choosing to put myself into harm’s way, into enemy territory, because I am stepping out from under the umbrella of Christ’s atonement, and now I am trying to shelter from the enemy’s onslaught with my own reasons, anger, excuses and inadequacies! 

The bible tells me to follow my Saviour down the same road He took. I suffer wrong because I am following Jesus. He suffered wrong and said nothing! Even if I truly think I am right, and I can prove it, I must make a choice to let go, and let God vindicate me! Reconciliation is my priority, not vindication. Vindication is the Lord’s work. My advice in a conflict is this —let LOVE be your default button. Not the kind of love that is portrayed on TV, but the kind that is in 1 Corinthians 13, and Colossians 3!

Jesus died to reconcile us to Almighty God, however, we still have choices. We can choose to step away from His Ways when we make our feelings, our needs, more important than His following Him! This means we can avoid being changed, and we will lose the ever-present ongoing war toward total transformation! Eventually guilt will drag us down and away from the light of God’s transforming love. And then shame makes us hide from the only One Who can help us – the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is the Person Who helped Christ through His life on earth and the crucifixion, He is totally well equipped to help us through our bad days.

The way forward is described in Micah 6:8“But He’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbour, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously—take God seriously.”  Bye👋

P 2357 Love is about choices – not feelings.

/ DVH

Hubby and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a couple of months back. I still think he is the nicest and best man I ever met. But SOME DAYS … that’s a choice not a feeling!  And I’m pretty sure he shares that sentiment with me. 😂 Not as often, of course – ‘cos I’m MUCH nicer than he is! Okay. That’s a joke. Haha!!

What I mean is this – some days we have to choose to love each other, because we don’t always understand the other person’s POV. I so-o don’t man-speak and he has no clue how to speak female, so we collide. Because we are both quite passionate people, there are times we collide loudly. No fun is had either side in that collision. People make times like that about individual issues – points of differences – you won’t get anywhere that way, trust me. The real ‘issue’ that needs to matter in those moments IS THIS: who is gunna repent and ask for forgiveness first? Sigh. It is usually him not me – he’s way better at saying ‘sorry’ than I am. It’s mega-annoying. 😡

I said all that to say this:  just because we disagree and feel horribly abused, misunderstood, and uncomfortable – that does not mean we quit the marriage or give up on the relationship. It simply means we have temporarily lost our common ground – and one, or both of us, has dug their heels in and refused to compromise or even listen to the other one. My particular fault in these matters is that I always have a point, plus I absolutely loathe not being listened to! 

People often say sagely: “Marriage is about compromise.” Phooey!! Marriage is about CHOICES. I choose to forgive because it’s in the bible! That’s true wisdom. At that moment when I am no longer feeling like my precious hubby is the nicest man in the world – I still have a life-mandate to fulfil. I promised to follow Jesus and He is offering me a new opportunity to choose to follow Him and die to self. These moments are the little foxes that spoil the vineyards of a husband and wife’s love for each other – we need to seize those moments for the Lord’s sake. The power of agreement opens doors that will not open any other way – we need to cherish and protect it.

If I choose to stop fighting the current issue and instead ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep my mouth shut, I will accomplish two things. The first is establishing His Lordship and the second is an opportunity for the Lord’s wisdom to prevail instead of chaos. I may have to insist about these two choices … and, to be fair, I quite often fall into the trap of seeking to be understood – instead of working to see the other person’s POV. However, even if what is happening makes no sense to me – it makes sense to the Lord – I know He can guide me through it.

It is extremely difficult, but not impossible, to lay aside your claim to be right – when you do it for the Lord, and not just for the other person. When you lay down your arms for His sake, whether you are right and they are wrong, THAT IS WHEN JESUS’ LORDSHIP PREVAILS! In that moment I have yielded my control back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit because I love Them more than winning or being right. Meanwhile, do not be fooled – those moments are hard. The other person may not have the same view of Lordship you have.

Here’s what I have observed – it only takes one person to turn things around … but that Person needs to be Him! Get a load of this scripture: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) At this point you could be thinking that you don’t ‘hate’ your spouse – yeah! But at this moment you are not in the middle of some dumb argument that you both feel it is imperative to win!! You can hate anyone given enough provocation trust me. Plus spouses often know each other so well they can lean all over each other’s buttons. In the middle of an argument neither of you are working together!

One of our biggest faults as Christians is that we try to wiggle around what He said in the book so we come up with a hundred reasons about why this particular verse does not apply to me. We all hate to be wrong and in those moments we forget about the One Who hung on that tree for our sake, so we would have the power to resist temptation. Please remember this line: It is not about winning a point or an argument, it is about losing the Holy Spirit’s Presence and YOUR PEACE. We have a choice. Selah. 😶 👋🏻