External processor

P 3067 Rules don’t reign here – Love does.

/ DVH

We are not in the Old Testament, under the Old Will – now we live in His kingdom. So rules don’t reign here — LOVE DOES. It is a very limiting thing to live by rules, because there is no freedom to change or explore other possibilities! In the past few weeks I have discovered that the loss of a loved one sharpens your awareness of who you really are. The pressure and sadness bring up things that might remain undisturbed, or even unseen.

People make choices that separate us from one another. So much more of this life can be explored together, if relationships were valued more than privacy. Sadly, my whole culture values privacy! Have you ever experienced getting angry with people who do some dumb thing you advised them not to do, and when it doesn’t work out — they want you to fix it for them?  Boy do I have a word for you today. It starts with RE and it ends with PENT! We are told to bear one another’s burdens so we can carry them to the Lord for that other person, not collapse under the load!!

Recently I found piles of anger, stuffed into previously unknown corners, all over the place in my heart. Apparently, I also have a postponing habit! I see something in my heart, and think, ‘I’ll fix that with the Lord, later!’ Well, later finally came, for me, and it wasn’t a bit like Christmas! I discovered I was sick to death with being asked what I thought, only to find, lo and behold – the other person didn’t like that answer and threw it away. It wasn’t that I wanted things to be done right – I just thought they could have been done better. 

I’m an external processor. I find out what I’m thinking by what comes out of my mouth and sometimes that is a bigger surprise to me than it would be to you! It’s dangerous stuff, trust me. It is amazing how easily my foot gets into my mouth. Especially as in the natural – I can’t even put my own socks on! Stuff started coming out of my mouth that definitely wasn’t true, and so the Lord began to deal with me about my own attitude toward myself. 

I had developed a habit of thinking that if I had said what the Lord told me to say in a better way, maybe things would have turned out differently. In other words I had picked up false responsibility, which meant that everything that went wrong was most probably my fault. It’s taken a crisis for me to see that I am definitely not that clever!! Other factors have come into play.

Individual people that I care about and respect, gently began to suggest that the way I was thinking about myself was not a great way to deal with things. And then another one came along… before you knew it — I had a queue of them, that nearly went around the block! And they were all saying the same thing. They didn’t all use the same words – but what was said had the same theme. The theme was —- “punishing yourself for other people’s poorly made decisions, is unscriptural and a bad idea.”

That’s the problem with honesty … it’s great but it can be brutal when you swing it like a sledge hammer… at yourself.I had developed an ungodly attitude that was disguised as humility. It seemed to be easier to me to be self-effacing, than it was to say to someone else: “But God said.” The Lord explained to me that attitude was not humility, it was negating the gift He had given me. Then I explained to Him that if I didn’t self-efface stuff, people would not only get mad at me, they would find, and use, that big hammer on me, frequently.! He very gently said: “Isn’t that called fear?” I sure didn’t have any answer for that one. Unless you count … UM! 

But that conversation led me to one question – how often does fear stop any of us from obeying Him? I mean, think about it. We live in a world where there are no rules – because we think rules restrict other people’s freedoms. So now we’ve made rules that say that you can’t stop others from being themselves! Does anyone see the irony in that?

In God’s kingdom, wherever we have had rules — He is actively helping us replace them with His LOVE — because Love is the perfect bond of unity. We can’t get to unity with rules because all of us are rebellious – even the nice people! I can’t get to the place where I am not afraid of you, simply because the bible says “don’t be afraid.” Instead I need a revelation of how great His love and acceptance is toward me. Those rules have not been discarded, they have been gloriously upgraded in one life-changing event! Jesus died in our place.

Sadly, I can keep on doing the very things that are preventing me from growing up into God’s plan for my life – by undermining myself. The Lord wants to tell each one of us today, that there are always areas in our hearts that He is working on. At the same time, He is preparing each one of us to be ready for what comes next, because He knows when those even more difficult things will land on us. 

We can miss the opportunities He brings to prepare us, by not replenishing the oil in our lamps. So don’t tell yourself: ‘I’m just broken.’ Our God can mend anything. The rules have been replaced by LOVE and love cannot, and will not ever fail. 👋 

P 2682 Easy Peasy … NOT!

/ DVH

“For the Scriptures tell us: Whoever wants to embrace true life and find beauty in each day must stop speaking evil, hurtful words and never deceive in what they say. Always turn from what is wrong and cultivate what is good; eagerly pursue peace in every relationship, making it your prize.” 1 Peter 3:10-11 TPT.

Monitoring our words is so powerful and special, when we fail to do it, we can prevent ourselves from finding beauty in each new day!  I bumbled along saying whatever came into my head for years. I was being true to myself – a common theme nowadays – but I was in the wrong spirit, because I was not yet walking in a renewed mind. Jesus Himself talked about that kind of thing in Luke 9:55. The disciples were unhappy because the Samaritans did not welcome the Lord into their village. They wanted to call down fire from heaven to consume this village, like Elijah did and the Lord Jesus rebuked them for saying and thinking like that.

To be honest, it seems to me that the disciples did not fully understand the working of the Holy Spirit. He came to facilitate our new birth, not to exterminate us! Watching what we say means we will always need His full-time help. Today I want to share the little bits I’ve learnt so far as I’ve been walking along with Him. To start with, the Holy Spirit always gives me a warning nudge. What I mean by that is that He knows what I want to say, and He will speak to my heart and say: “Don’t say that,” before I’ve opened my mouth. 

You see it is much too easy to think I’m a big girl now, I can judge and choose my own words and I don’t actually need a filter. But the truth is … I need a full-time filter BIG time! The whole thing about our words is that they are intimately personal. They come from our own private thoughts. The Lord knows my heart and He knows that other person’s heart as well, and He knows what will hurt, and what will heal. He also knows what will send me off into a tangent, or what will build up my faith, as well as theirs. Knowing someone’s heart means knowing their motivation, and inclinations – our God is brilliant at that!

He knows when I feel inclined to bad mouth the other person or try to put them in their place, because I happen to think it is called for.  So unless my mind is renewed, I am sunk … I will actually need to make quality choices to participate in His renewal. In other words – unless what I think, is the way that I act, not just something I say I believe or agree with – I can, and probably will misspeak. That realisation is a ‘woe is me’ moment. The best thing to do after woe is me is to repent … fast! Repent to the Lord, the other person and to anybody else within ear-shot.

We must never forget that our words are powerful. We can speak life or death to someone else, whether they are present or not. That same voice we’ve been given that can raise the dead and heal the sick, needs oversight!  I have struggled with a number of relationships over the years, and I have found that if I give in to self-pity, grumbling or criticism, whether those things are justified or not … I’m definitely going to end up saying something stupid that I will regret. 

It is better to remain silent rather than say something that cements the other person into a role you have created in your own mind, whether they mean to treat you badly or not. We have the power to speak life, this means we need to pull our focus back onto what is “good, right and profitable.” The bible tells us to “let our minds dwell on these things.” So when we let fly and say something unkind etc. — guess what our minds have been doing??  Yeah, I don’t like that idea either.

We have to choose to live this way now, and it cannot be a religious thing, it is a reliance thing. It’s a choice we make for the Lord and the other person. If you can’t trust yourself to say something good, then saying nothing at all, is a truly great idea. However, we are not meant to lie, so how do we say good things about people who have deliberately and sometimes maliciously treated us badly? Glad you asked that question – because I have an answer! We ask the Lord what He wants us to do or say in that moment. We choose to lay aside our own judgment, anger, and hurt, because when we do that, we are also avoiding being judged ourselves. So we either keep schtum or we choose our words carefully with Him helping us.

Just to make things clear, this can be a very difficult thing to do when you are someone who finds out what they think when they say it out loud! I’m an external processor, and telling me to watch what I say is like sending me to the Paris Olympics to enter a relay race. Not happening! BUT … I have a Helper Who knows exactly what I am going to say before I say it so I am learning to rely upon His judgment not my own. I’m happy to do that because the bible says: “lean not on your own understanding …” Win win. Easy peasy … with His help. Bye. 👋