Ephesians 4;29

P 3280 It seems like the ‘impossible dream.’

/ DVH

“Now, this is the goal: to live in harmony with one another and demonstrate affectionate love, sympathy, and kindness toward other believers. Let humility describe who you are as you dearly love one another. Never retaliate when someone treats you wrongly, nor insult those who insult you, but instead, respond by speaking a blessing over them—because a blessing is what God promised to give you. For the Scriptures tell us: Whoever wants to embrace true life and find beauty in each day must stop speaking evil, hurtful words and never deceive in what they say. Always turn from what is wrong and cultivate what is good; eagerly pursue peace in every relationship, making it your prize.” 1 Peter 3:8-11 TPT.

Don’t worry, I am not about to break into a chorus from the musical: “Man from La Mancha.” Even though the above verses from Peter seem like the impossible dream! Here, briefly, is the story from that musical: ’It is a funny story of mad but kind and chivalrous elderly nobleman Don Quixote who, aided by his squire Sancho Panza, fights windmills that are seen as dragons to save prostitute Dulcinea who is seen as a noblewoman.’ 

I chose this musical as an illustration today, because we can miss out on God’s blessings, when we discount some tasks as not worthy of our attention. Who would treat a prostitute like a noblewoman? Jesus did on a couple of occasions! And Don Quixote, the addle-pated fictional old guy did too. Many people thought his character was delusional, but others saw it as an illustration of complete saneness in a mad world. You decide. 

We can all have false value systems that are nothing like the Lord’s. It’s important to remind ourselves, that Jesus loved sinners. He loved the people, not what they did! Those people who “fessed up” to their failings out of love, respect and honour for the Lord’s holiness. All of us have sinned, and one sin is not worse than another. Anything that offends God’s holiness is sin. Plus anything that doesn’t come from faith is also sin. (Romans 14:23). 

At one time, Jesus went to a tax collector’s house for dinner and many people were really angry with Him for doing it. Yet the Lord said on another occasion: “I did not come to call the [self-proclaimed] righteous [who see no need to repent], but sinners to repentance [to change their old way of thinking, to turn from sin and to seek God and HIS righteousness].” Luke 5:32. God’s ways are not like ours. His Grace and Righteousness have been given to us purely through His Son’s death. Given for free, but at immeasurable cost.

Here is the point I want to make today – we can sin with our mouths far more than most people do with their actions! We need to remember that our mouths follow our inner attitudes.“Whoever wants to embrace true life and find beauty in each day must stop speaking evil, hurtful words and never deceive in what they say.”  The thing about God’s Word is that it couldn’t be clearer. There is no wiggle room. Anything else is disobedience. We’ve all mouthed off at one time or another, and, hopefully, repented from it. What Peter is saying is this:  if you can control your mouth, your whole body will follow along behind it. It seems to me like James said that too! 

Two things help in this deceitful, sometimes hypocritical battle we all experience. First of all: Renewing our minds. Our thinking needs to change. However, please don’t feel condemned about it. That’s an endless way of thinking that is hard to escape from. Condemnation is not like conviction. Conviction leads to fresh life — condemnation leads to fruitless, self-flagellation. Jesus paid for all our sins. Repent, and then deliberately repair things, and then move on. 

Here’s something that helps me …I do this out of obedience and reverence for Him, feelings don’t come into it.

That is the first step in a process that changes the way we think about other people, ourselves and sin. ‘…repentance is a profound, inward change of mind and attitude toward sin, resulting in a 180-degree turn in direction—away from wrong doing and toward God. It involves sincere remorse (godly sorrow), confession, and an inward commitment to change actions and behaviours.’ 

Secondly: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Ephesians 4:29. That little word “let” shows us that we actually are able to monitor what we say, and edit out inappropriate responses. We will need the Holy Spirit’s help, but this gets easier with practice. However, I think that the ‘monitoring’ process starts with what we take in. If we put garbage in, then garbage will come out. For example: I’ve noticed that if I am around someone who swears a lot, my first thought when something goes wrong is not a good one! This is not that  other person’s fault – I didn’t take the time to rewire my brain with what God says.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8. And that brings me to this conclusion:  I will always need to find what’s good in the things that happen to me. God’s good, and He’s in charge of me, so GOOD will be there. I can always ask Him to help me see it because anger, frustration, self-pity etc. can get in the way. Living like this isn’t an ‘impossible dream’ and I am not “tilting at windmills…!” Jesus also once said this: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26. Bye 👋.

P 2995 Controlling our mouths …

/ DVH

…is actually the biggest part of our daily battle … because speaking well of people is essential for our new language of love, so we all need to learn it. After all, the spirit of self-control needs to set its fruit somewhere … why not our tongues?

“Do not LET any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. Here’s something I’ve learnt about myself that may benefit someone else. Sometimes the best response to something negative someone else says to you, is to smile — remember to include your eyes —and say nothing. Listening is a fantastic skill. Humility listens. Most angry people will de-escalate if we are prepared to give them a hearing. While I am listening, or trying to, I am inwardly praying: “Please help ME Holy Spirit, my feelings are out of control.”  

As we seek to truly love one another, reconciliation must never be far away from our minds. We cannot afford to make any argument a competition about who wins and who loses. If we start keeping score it adds to the anger. One of the participants in the problem is going to have to put their grievance – their sword– down. The best way to do that, is to start with an apology.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. So it is good to say neutral things like: “I’m sorry you feel like that, and I have obviously hurt your feelings. I apologise.Please forgive me.” And then continue to say nothing. While we are busy defending ourselves, we aren’t loving that other person – we are empowering our flesh.

Loving each other is the secret ingredient to watching whatever we say. People who fall in love with someone else, watch their speech. The thing is, it is not good for our personal spiritual well-being to be a hypocrite, and love some people and not others simply because: “Love covers a multitude of sins …” It covered OURS!

Please understand that when we act in faith, with a spirit of reconciliation, we are not necessarily validating what the other person is saying – we are simply choosing to obey scripture: “First take the LOG out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see the splinter.” Matthew 7:3-5. None of us are blameless. What does it matter if we are falsely accused? What does it matter if we lose an argument? We might win the war by appearing to lose. The walls of Jericho came down because of a long silence, and one well-placed shout of victory!

Very few people walk up to someone else and punch them in the face FIRST! Arguments usually start with words, and then things grow exponentially as we use more and more words, and move on into hurling spiteful responses at each other and bringing up the other person’s past misdeeds. That’s the time we need to remember that we cannot control another person’s actions or reactions, we have to start with ourselves first. Maybe His Grace in our lives – which we get from spending time with Jesus in the secret place – has been diminished by the troubles and cares of this life.

“LET your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6. One of my favourite preachers from the Brownsville Revival used to say – “this thing right here … (and he would point to his tongue) – that’s the thing we all need to be aware of.” “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be so.” James 3:10. But it obviously IS so, because God Himself tells us through James …that it should not be so! This is where our personal test of obedience kicks in.

The next verse is the secret to overcoming all that. We cannot afford to live this life forgetting, for even a second, WHO we belong to now. “Little children, you can be certain that you belong to God and have conquered them, for the One who is living in you is far greater than the one who is in the world.”1 John 4:4 TPT. You see our confidence is not in our ability to conform, or even perform – our confidence is in Him. It is not in me or you … it’s IN HIMI We believe and have faith in His ability to conquer whatever situation we find ourselves in — after all He conquered DEATH! Therefore my big mouth is not a problem to Him. 

All this is possible because we belong to Him and He lives in us. We have a God Who saves us, and Who lives in us! He has already saved us from the sin we will perpetrate against someone else by what we’ve said. Because of the Lord Jesus we have the deposit of self-control within us, by His Grace. All we need to do is to release it, using our faith. Controlling our mouths is the biggest part of our daily battle. Bye 👋.