Double-mindedness

P 2959 Thank God for the brethren!

/ DVH

Our God is always amazing, and so are His kids. However this week has been just plain terrible at our house! My 97 year old Mum was diagnosed with cancer out of the blue. She has been merrily making plans to reach 100, when she had a hiccup and was bundled off to hospital. The tests they did showed that she is actually very ill.

When someone is 97 you really don’t expect they will live forever, down here, but the finality of that diagnosis was completely confronting for me. She’s as cheerful as ever, if not slightly confused, but able to communicate quite well. On the other hand, I’m not at all cheerful about it. Yet at the same time I have been thanking the Lord over and over again for helping us to restore our relationship into something that is much better than it has ever been before. Fortunately, thanks to modern medicine, so far she is not suffering.

This is one of those situations that you don’t know how you will feel until you get there. Yet I keep giving the whole thing to the Lord, over and over again. The result has been that everything seems OK — and then it isn’t — and I never know when “it isn’t” is going to turn up!  I’ve been struggling with the seriousness of the situation, and how to help her and do whatever is necessary. So I take it back, worry over it, try to figure it out — then I give it back to the Lord again. Only to take it back ten minutes later. Double mindedness is appalling, it has a high cost in mental health!

I really do credit any semblance of sanity I have right now to my family’s prayers, and I include my brothers and sisters in Christ in that statement – they are definitely my family too. We cannot ever underestimate the power of intercessory prayer on our behalf. Yesterday, I saw it powerfully in action, again, regarding ongoing damage to our home. Cyclone Alfred messed up a lot of people’s homes, there was flooding and major damage all over the place. If that happens to be you, you have my prayers and deep sympathy. At our house that extremely unfriendly weather system caused a floor in one room a whole lot of damage. The problem is not the damage, which will be fixed … eventually… 

…the problem is getting it fixed! Plus the 4,000 proposed ways to do it. Then comes paying for it! Our insurance company trotted out the whole ‘existing problem’ clause, so that was that. Picking one of the many ways to go ahead seems to have overloaded my brain, which keeps skiving off into grief. Fortunately my dearest hubby is brilliant and steadfast, and he has prayed extensively about this situation. Under any circumstances, two really are better than one! I don’t usually write much about stuff like this, but I fell headfirst down a figurative mine-hole and I have quite simply needed other people’s prayers to deal with my mental and emotional responses, because I just can’t manage this stuff without Jesus.

I decided to share these things here, because this is the kind of scenario that can derail us. Simply because it is unexpected. And to be perfectly honest with you, I’m so sick of the whole “I’m fine” Christian-ese stuff we all feel obligated to cough up. So I decided to drop the positive attitude facade, and just be honest with you. I’m NOT fine … but I know He will get me through this. One of the things I wanted to say today was, when bad stuff happens – don’t be too proud to ask for help.

Today I have a bit more clarity, and I’ve been able to surrender everything that is going on to the Lord … and leave it there. Hubby has come up with a great plan, and he has been just marvellous with my mother. You know, sometimes it is not what has happened that gets you, its the overwhelming varied endless advice, and never-ending meetings and discussions. 

I can’t imagine what I would do if my mother had not made her own wishes clear. Nobody wants to hear “not to be resuscitated’ over their parent, no matter how long they’ve been alive. My brain gets it, but my emotions have been screaming: “You’ve got to save her.”  Plus even though a flooded floor is minor in comparison, it seems major right now because of the endless conjecture on how it can be fixed. I have been reduced to taking one minute at a time, because my thoughts and emotions have decided they do not have to consult me about anything!

Two days ago I was crying in the dentist chair. It hurt, but it wasn’t that bad! When you are already physically depleted by ongoing health issues, these kinds of battles batter at your faith, and planning a funeral was not on my agenda! So here I am, with His strength as the ONLY source in my weakness. Plus I am very grateful to the people who are currently holding my arms up.

Lastly I would like to ask for forgiveness if I have hurt anyone while they were going through something that overwhelmed them to the point of despair. I honestly didn’t completely understand how quickly the ground can go from under your feet. “Even when bad things happen to the good and Godly ones, the Lord will save them and not let them be defeated by what they face.” Psalm 34:19. Bless you guys, you know who you are! 🙏

P 2455 Give up cherry-picking!

/ DVH

There is no point in faithfully reading the Bible every day if we are only going to cherry-pick the verses we like, and just obey them… and leave out the ones we don’t particularly like or understand … AND not even TRY to obey them! Prayer is the answer, not avoidance. The whole point about the verses we don’t understand is we need to take the time to find out what they mean – which means we will spend time with the Holy Spirit asking questions. 

I’ve been nagging the Lord, for years about some stuff I still don’t get. However, the Bible is best understood when you read it bearing in mind all the other things that are written in it! Otherwise it is far too easy to take stuff out of context. Misreading this particular book can lead to all kinds of nasty errors. One verse needs to be read in the light of others. Look for themes and principles not just verses: “I really like.” Maybe we ought to throw out all those comforting ‘gimme’ verses, and look for challenging ones instead! And my point was (?) – cherry-picking verses that benefit me is one way to stumble off into error! 

When we read inspirational books that explain this or that verse, or some big thought we’ve never seen before, we are eating someone else’s stale bread. It’s food, but there is nothing like the smell and the taste of fresh bread … especially if you are hungry. Stale bread is only good for puddings or toast! Our God is so gracious, He can take anything we read and make it into bread, even someone else’s leftovers. But that is not the optimum way to get bread from God. We really need the word from His mouth that was sent to help US get through THIS day!! 

On the other hand, our pastors produce fresh bread every single week, that’s why we need to be prayerful when we are listening to someone’s sermon. We pray that God will give us eyes to see and ears to hear to what He is saying to us. It is not about sermons being interesting or fun! … Tickling our ears is not what we are there for .. we go to church, because  “man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Our pastors bring us that mouth-of-God-word every single week. That’s their job. 

In the light of our pastor’s effort and our own daily bible study, obedience has never ever been an optional response. Dying to self still means what I want is now dead …  And that includes my own comfort and sometimes even my safety. PS… I’m definitely SAFE when I’m dead! However, when we treat the Bible like any other book we are opening ourselves up to double-mindedness, and a double-minded man can’t get anything from God because that person is too busy trying to find the right angle to benefit HIM! It is far better to assume that there will be something in there that we need to take the time to find out about. Something that will help us grow to be like Jesus.

We don’t have to read reams of the Bible in order to be fed anymore than we need to sit down to an eight course dinner every meal, every single day! We simply need to trust the Holy Spirit when we sit down to read that He will give us what He has for us. Then when we get to the daily bread bit, suddenly something we couldn’t understand — even if we stood on our head and read it fifty times — becomes clear. The next step is that the word that jumped out at you – is actionable. That’s the Holy Spirit speaking – we cannot afford to ignore Him. So we apply what we’ve read to our hearts and minds etc., we pray over it, and then we go and do it. Well, you might want to skip being whale food … but you get my meaning!

When I share what the Lord gave me today, with you, it may not be pertinent to you. After all it is MY daily bread but it may not be yours. Perhaps this is why sometimes your friends and family do not cheer and get excited when you share something the Lord told you. Maybe that bread was not for them. While it is okay to share with others, it is far better to encourage other people, including your kids (!), to go after their own bread. To start with, if everyone became bread-seekers and gathered their own, we would have so much more of the “many-sided wisdom of God” to enjoy! (Does that sound like gathering ‘manna’ or what?)

There is no point in taking on board the value system of this world and fitting it in around what the Holy Spirit says in the Bible. The Bible needs to be our yardstick – our plumb-line – not this world or its customs. The hard chewy bits of this book are the best bits. If you don’t understand stuff, then start cheering. “Ask, and you shall receive, SEEK and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Please, give up cherry-picking and go looking for your own bread! 👋🏻