Disagreements

P 2889 People disagree …

/ DVH

… sometimes very loudly! When you read the gospels you will find different people from all walks of life that are outrageously unkind, plus people who cheat each other, or they hate each other for all kinds of reasons. The thing is, disagreements are not necessarily about who is right and who is wrong – that’s this world’s way of thinking. ‘I think I am much right-er than YOU are,’ is a really common theme. I hate disagreements … everybody loses!

To be perfectly honest with you, difficulties can have a positive side, they can usher in change in us – if we put down our sword of attack, and pick up His Grace, the people around us would feel much safer! God’s Grace needs to be the way we live now. What Jesus did at Calvary, released an incredible, overabundant Grace, and it is ours for the taking. We need to use our faith. Let me clarify that into English – let what you’ve been given by God be your new motivation – it makes it easier to apologise! Do it for the Lord!  He deserves to see the reward of His suffering in our lives.

This is our highest form of worship. This, in its very essence, is Romans 12:1 ”Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”When we choose His will, His Way, we are choosing to worship Him! Here’s another scripture nobody much likes, Jesus said it: “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. We live this way for people who totally don’t deserve that kind of attitude or action from us! I’ve known people who said: “I would die for you” – but they haven’t considered that dying for the other person might include not liking or loving them very much at the time! 

Jesus chose to die for us, and He loved us while He did it! Good place to praise God for mercy!! Before you throw your hands up in the air in frustration, because we all have difficult people in our lives …think about it. Name somebody in the bible who had a happy, trouble-free, carefree life – you can’t do it can you? Our happiness, our purest joy comes from knowing Him – other people and relationships line up behind that. It often seems to me in those angry moments, that I’ve forgotten that love is a choice not a feeling!! 

Human beings stagger about doing the weirdest stuff, searching for that mythical land that is called “my happiness.” It won’t happen – it can’t happen. If we don’t find our happiness in serving Him, and learning His Ways – we are doomed to keep repeating the same rubbish mistakes over and over again. We will remain stuck in a mire of our own choosing. The answer to other people driving us crazy isn’t them changing – It’s our own personal transformation – we change the way we think and see everyone else, and they don’t bother us anymore!

There really is a place where other people don’t have to get on your nerves – Jesus Christ lived there and He was a man just like us. Every single one of those irritations are giving us an opportunity to die to self. Jesus didn’t have to wrangle His emotions, because He knew what was important – He knew the book from when He was 12! Everything He did He did to further His Father’s Kingdom. That’s now our job.

Christians admire other people’s testimonies. Things like: some dear missionary went to some lost tribe, and the tribe was saved but they chopped the poor missionary into little bits.’ Let’s pause a minute … the thing is, we don’t have rampant indigenous tribes waiting to kill us … instead we have Mrs Kerfoops who is always gossiping about everyone and she comes to church every Sunday … that dear lady needs to know His Grace. Obviously she has none, because she can’t keep her mouth shut. Somebody is going to have to be a source of God’s Grace toward her!

The bible works as a WHOLE. That missionary who died released Grace to the pagan tribe …  they left their comfortable homeland and went to a strange place for the sake of the gospel. That’s GRACE. Today’s Christians don’t value GRACE enough. We expect other people to understand US.. Instead we need to learn to turn the other cheek and walk the extra mile, right in the middle of the time when we feel so provoked we just want to thump the person who is provoking us. 

This means we will need to put His Grace into action to manage our painful circumstances. Think on this — the Grace that we cling to while the world around us continually shifts on its axis, is the same Grace we give away to other people when they don’t deserve it. In those moments I remind myself — “I don’t deserve His Grace either!” It really does help. Right along with my all time favourite prayer. “Help help!” Prayer is so much more than words, it is an attitude of our hearts!

Some of the time people disagree because they don’t know Him well enough yet. So there are no hard and fast rules as to who should be the one to give away Grace. I’ve found if I can actually see what is going on, then that means He will help me to get through it. I step out in faith, and I ask for His help to holster my own opinion. I’ve yet to start cheering when a disagreement comes up, but these things are opportunities for me to practise what I preach. Bye. 👋

P 2679 Stress – the peace devourer.

/ DVH

This is the dictionary’s interpretation of the word – STRESS: great worry caused by a difficult situation. People under a lot of stress may experience headaches, minor pains, and sleeping problems  As if life isn’t difficult enough!

Here are some of my own thoughts about combating stress. I believe exercise can help. Repetitive gentle stretching and moderate exercise gives my brain more oxygen to work with! Plus I use intentional breathing. I quiet my emotions and thoughts by simply concentrating on my breathing. And a few good night’s sleep in a row can help! Also do something fun to break the cycle of “I’ve gotta be, gotta do, gotta go, gotta help …” Instead prioritise helping yourself to get rid of the stress. Stressful people ain’t fun to be around!!

I think parents often find themselves striving to keep their kids lives on an even keel. When kids are on edge so is everyone else! My advice is to let them practice fixing their own problems, instead of adding their problems into your list! I do this all the time. 🙄 Older kids need to be given opportunities to resolve conflict and trouble for themselves – it’s a much needed life-skill. I’d encourage them to ask the Lord to help, but I would also pray for them. The thing is, we often problem solve things for our kids because if they are stressed then they over-stress us and … round and round we go! Pray God will help them and step away. If they are too young to think things through, then present them with two alternative answers to their barrage of questions – tell them the answer is this OR that.

Laughter and humour are great stress breakers. But if you are dealing with another person I recommend that you explain you are not laughing AT them – otherwise war may break out! Watch something you like on TV, that is not stressful. I use Youtube a lot. I put on some Tim Janis or Dappy T Keys and I just listen and watch the pictures! That stuff is like peace on a stick. It’s incredibly peaceful. Or you can listen to music that you like. Sit and read a book and zone out. If you are going to read the bible then read your favourite Psalms. Just don’t read great big swatches of it – it is better to soak, not study. Just read a couple of verses that show you how much God loves you, and regularly pause while reading, to let it sink in. 

People often behave irrationally when they are under stress – it is not intentional – stress has a way of sneaking up on all of us. The thing is, if you are stressed then it is more than likely the rest of your family will pick up on it and they will eventually join in! I believe stress is the cause of more disagreements and strife in our everyday lives than we actually realise. You can’t think your way out of it – because over-thinking got you into it!  FYI, none of us have the ability to solve a whole lot of problems all at once! Just saying …

Stress can tip over into worry when we are unaware of it. The mind winds up and shoots off in a number of directions trying to solve every problem in our universe  – then, quite naturally, our mind objects to being overtaxed because we are not made to deal with a whole lot of problems all at once! I recommend prioritising. Make lists if it helps but remember to cross things off the list once you have accomplished them. Human beings need the feeling of winning, of gaining ground, to help us keep on moving forward. So do celebrate your successes – do it on purpose!

There have been times in my life when I have forgotten what I was stressed about, (good thing!) but then I drove myself nuts trying to remember what I forgot. (Bad thing!!)  At the same time, I have been known to annoy people in my near vicinity with my somewhat over-emphasised problem-solving attempts on their behalf. A problem-solving person may not be what a stressed person needs! I found that out the hard way. Suggestions can just muddy the waters and frustrate everyone.

I have left the best until last. God does not want us to live this life like a frayed end. Please don’t leave the Lord out. He wants IN. He wants to show Himself strong and active on our behalf. I have often made the mistake of thinking that the best way for God to help me, is for Him to solve all my problems. Wrong! God is not our personal problem solver any more than He is our personal trainer! His aim is for us to get through the difficulties holding onto His hand, totally at peace and releasing that peace into the atmosphere around us.

John 14:27 says:“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” How do we enter this peace? There’s this groovy little word called “let,” it means “allow.” When we find ourselves buzzing about like a bumble bee trapped by a window, it is time to realise that we have let ourselves be overwhelmed by the circumstances. Time to stop and pray about letting things go and handing them over to Him. See all the above suggestions … I told you I like to make them!! 😊 Lastly, fix the things you can with His help, but relinquish the ones you can’t. Bye. 👋