disability

P 3359 In which I talk about Elephants.

/ DVH

I have been ill one way or another for the past 50 years, I have a cranky immune system. Why? I dunno. Loads of people have prayed for me. I imagine if I asked people-who-are-much-smarter-or-more-spiritual-than-I-am they could probably list some sin or unbelief in my life that has caused this stuff. All I know is it stretches my faith daily. 

I don’t always find other people’s suggestions, even though they are well intentioned, all that helpful. Because these not-quite-so-helpful souls go home and do ordinary stuff, and yet I still need help going to the loo! I realise that others are trying to be inspiring by telling me to declare this, and remember that verse from the bible. It’s all good! But when I am in the middle of a physical battle, I can’t pick stuff up, I am too busy fighting my overactive mind, feelings and symptoms, and I feel condemned if I can’t do it.

I truly believe Jesus has the Answer so I go to Him minute by minute for the strength to manage this kind of weakness. At the same time, I can use all of His life in me that I can get, when my own life is sitting on me! Unfortunately, another problem with ongoing chronic illness, is that you can get used to it — and sadly, you don’t have to like it to get used to it. One of my least fav feelings is the one that says: “Here we go again!” I’m doing OK today, BTW.

I want to take the time to encourage others who happen to be sick or broken. The people who love and desperately need Jesus day in and out, just to get out of bed every morning. It takes courage to choose Jesus when it seems like there are no wellness benefits- yet. I salute you. So does Paul in 2 Corinthians 11:16-33, and 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. Without the Lord’s help, chronic illness can become the overriding flavour of any life. 

You will have to fight against the idea of giving in to it, and grab hold of your courage to fight that same battle one more time. I believe I have discovered a small but helpful secret to surviving with elephants…what we focus ON, fills our minds and emotions and it filters down right through our everyday lives. A person with a disability has to fight harder, but I’ve learnt to comfort myself with the thought that God loves me dearly, sick or not.  Plus I strongly resist the urge to fling blame and angst about. Instead I put my sights firmly on Him and keep on following Him.

It’s extremely profitable to look for some good in life – especially if you are laid aside. That attitude can become a refuge in itself. Two sentences have helped me: “Oh well,” and “God is always good, no matter how it looks.” God is still good when everything looks BAD! I want to be clear, these two things are not an exit sign, they are simply a way to keep my spirit man, who isn’t sick (!) energised and active.  

So I say: “oh well” and postpone any plans when things get icky. It’s become a spoken cue to shift my focus back onto the Lord, and off some painful thing or other that has forced itself on me. What we pay attention to, fills our vision. Bad stuff can happen to anyone, and ‘oh well,’ reminds me I’m in great company. Otherwise self-pity grabs me by the throat and I start circling the drain. Then I’ve just lost an opportunity to rely upon Jesus, as well as renew my mind to think like He does. The Body of Christ focusses on healing, but we need to focus far more on the fact that Jesus SAW sick people!

Problems come disguised as ordinary every day incidents that are easily solvable for most people …but when they land on the chronically sick and disabled they become distractions to keep us busy elsewhere …so we will forget who we really are! When praying for myself shows no visible signs of relief, then I choose to pray for YOU. Otherwise pain and illness can take over my thinking, and block out the reality of Who He is and what He has done for all of us.

The other thing I hang onto is: “God is always good.” I say that out loud, and I’ve learned to treat it as a lifeline. Then I resist evil, focus on Him – and I have peace instead of turmoil. When we use the truth of the bible as our plumb line, it steadies and focusses our inner thinking. This means we can pick up on whatever the Holy Spirit wants to give us, so we can fight the enemy’s insinuations with it.

Sometimes, realistically speaking, we may have to gird up our loins, and do everything we can, including ignoring our battered feelings.  In those moments, it helps me to keep going when I remember what the Lord has already done in my life. I’ve learnt to let the little things that might otherwise go unnoticed, become my focus. I give thanks for the small things! Even if we don’t know how to fix ourselves—let’s face it if we did we would do it! We can still always go to Him and ask for His help and healing. Believing ‘God is always good,’ switches our focus.

Chronic illness means some people around us, are running this race set before them with a handicap – and some are barely holding on. Perhaps other people don’t realise how much courage it takes to hold fast to what is true, in the face of the lack of answers to fervent prayers. The Body of Christ needs everyone, including the lesser, unseen parts, so we must stand with the chronically ill and keep remembering them in our prayers. “I was sick and you visited Me.”

I vote we support the person and stop ignoring that elephant, because love looks like something – a prayer, a real hug, tears, even a sandwich! Let’s not make someone’s healing more important than comforting the person themselves. Bye. 🙏

P 2917 A peek behind the curtain – OR – trouble is part of the process …

/ DVH

I am no longer what I would call a small person. I was, before I had 35 years worth of steroids etc. but now, not-so-much. It can be difficult for people of my size, because this world is not actually designed for bigger people. We often have to hire Barnum and Bailey tents if we want to go out and still be decently covered! Those ridiculous things are often covered in very large, bright red hibiscus flowers to make sure bigger people don’t get lost in the crowd. Ho-hum!

When we go into caravan parks to deliver bibles etc. if I go with hubby he has to get the wheelchair out, help me into it, and then drag me across the many stones that often inhabit country car parks … all that makes for a great massage, and a few bruises! We do this kind of thing a few times a day and so now I’m the designated prayer warrior in the car. This means I don’t actually meet many people.

The places we stay in are not always advantageous to the disabled either. When we travel — chairs, toilets, even beds are all too low. I can get INTO them, but then I can’t get OUT again — not unless I want to break hubby’s back, and that seems a bit extreme. So he packs a heap of extension lifts for the “I’m almost sitting on the floor furniture.” Even disabled units don’t seem to have been designed by disabled people. There are toilets where your knees almost touch the opposite wall – it can be a bit squishy.

In a home shower you may notice there is quite a nice space for one person, or even for a couple of little people. But, it is a whole other ball game to fit in a quite chubby person, plus a carer to help them, plus a shower chair … it’s a bit like trying to shower in a thimble! The taps in the shower are always in the wrong place, and someone’s back will eventually end up bumping into the hot and cold controls.😳 Bathrooms are always much too small and then there is that dratted slippery shower floor… sigh…

I don’t much like slippery floors because I am not a fan of falling down. I did that last year and it was an abysmal failure. Getting up again is a whole other tragic long-winded story, that very nearly involved a crane! Meanwhile the car we’ve hired to tour about in, is like … ten centimetres off the ground, but it does have wheels and an engine … a-n-d  — did I mention that the seats are almost on the ground?!? Yes really. Another inch, Mr Manufacturer, would have really helped! I think I could have managed if the car was a Lamborghini.. but… alas!! Anyway a low-slung car makes getting in and out quite a laugh-riot for the disabled and their knees.

The other day we needed to use a McDonald’s toilet – they are always clean and tidy. We had to wait five minutes, with me propped up against a wall, because an able-bodied person had decided it wouldn’t matter if they used the disabled toilet. Hmmm… ! Meanwhile, it looked like this toilet had suffered from an internal explosion. It seemed to have had a fit, flinging toilet paper etc. everywhere. Fortunately we managed to find some that wasn’t floor decoration. 

One town looked rather like its primary industry was producing angry and aggressive youth. And their fav hang-out was … that very same McDonalds – lucky us! We smiled, and-moved-on-very-quickly.There were about 50 young people hanging around. So I’m prayer-thinking to myself: “I’m gunna have to run, but I can’t run, so please protect us Lord. Dear God please help these kids to find jobs and end up responsible citizens!” Amen! By the way, the disabled park was light years away from the actual building. Not quite sure how that one works.

However, the place we have been staying at for a couple of days, is very scenic. I don’t remember when we have seen so many cockatoos, mobs of kangaroos, deer, ducks, and all sorts and varieties of other birds. Even though there has been a bushfire through here recently the scenery is pretty. Apparently visitors don’t enjoy burnt  Aussie bush for their surroundings on their holidays so this park is almost empty in peak season. Sad for the owners, who want to make living. It is also very, very quiet. We have little WiFi or TV service so you get to sit about in silence a lot! 

Stuff happens to us all the time — and it prompts us to live by the scripture:”I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.”  But depending on the day and how we got out of bed …we can choose to whine and whinge!  Thank you Jesus for helping us all! May God truly bless all the lovely people who are praying for us. My point is simply sometimes you will learn to suffer long. Remember – Jesus slept by the roadside and went without food… He was so tired once … He slept in a violently rocking boat!

If you think you might want to be a missionary, and let’s face it, it is not the most popular job ever — then you need to be aware that heaps of untimely, inconvenient, annoying stuff is guaranteed to get your old self rumbling away. But, bonus buy, those things will help you to learn how to rely upon Jesus! Finally, I wanted to make it clear that living for Him is always costly, no matter where you are. So, if things are hard at your house, that does not mean you are doing it wrong —trouble is often part of the process… Bye for now 👋