controlling

P 2995 Controlling our mouths …

/ DVH

…is actually the biggest part of our daily battle … because speaking well of people is essential for our new language of love, so we all need to learn it. After all, the spirit of self-control needs to set its fruit somewhere … why not our tongues?

“Do not LET any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. Here’s something I’ve learnt about myself that may benefit someone else. Sometimes the best response to something negative someone else says to you, is to smile — remember to include your eyes —and say nothing. Listening is a fantastic skill. Humility listens. Most angry people will de-escalate if we are prepared to give them a hearing. While I am listening, or trying to, I am inwardly praying: “Please help ME Holy Spirit, my feelings are out of control.”  

As we seek to truly love one another, reconciliation must never be far away from our minds. We cannot afford to make any argument a competition about who wins and who loses. If we start keeping score it adds to the anger. One of the participants in the problem is going to have to put their grievance – their sword– down. The best way to do that, is to start with an apology.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. So it is good to say neutral things like: “I’m sorry you feel like that, and I have obviously hurt your feelings. I apologise.Please forgive me.” And then continue to say nothing. While we are busy defending ourselves, we aren’t loving that other person – we are empowering our flesh.

Loving each other is the secret ingredient to watching whatever we say. People who fall in love with someone else, watch their speech. The thing is, it is not good for our personal spiritual well-being to be a hypocrite, and love some people and not others simply because: “Love covers a multitude of sins …” It covered OURS!

Please understand that when we act in faith, with a spirit of reconciliation, we are not necessarily validating what the other person is saying – we are simply choosing to obey scripture: “First take the LOG out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see the splinter.” Matthew 7:3-5. None of us are blameless. What does it matter if we are falsely accused? What does it matter if we lose an argument? We might win the war by appearing to lose. The walls of Jericho came down because of a long silence, and one well-placed shout of victory!

Very few people walk up to someone else and punch them in the face FIRST! Arguments usually start with words, and then things grow exponentially as we use more and more words, and move on into hurling spiteful responses at each other and bringing up the other person’s past misdeeds. That’s the time we need to remember that we cannot control another person’s actions or reactions, we have to start with ourselves first. Maybe His Grace in our lives – which we get from spending time with Jesus in the secret place – has been diminished by the troubles and cares of this life.

“LET your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6. One of my favourite preachers from the Brownsville Revival used to say – “this thing right here … (and he would point to his tongue) – that’s the thing we all need to be aware of.” “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be so.” James 3:10. But it obviously IS so, because God Himself tells us through James …that it should not be so! This is where our personal test of obedience kicks in.

The next verse is the secret to overcoming all that. We cannot afford to live this life forgetting, for even a second, WHO we belong to now. “Little children, you can be certain that you belong to God and have conquered them, for the One who is living in you is far greater than the one who is in the world.”1 John 4:4 TPT. You see our confidence is not in our ability to conform, or even perform – our confidence is in Him. It is not in me or you … it’s IN HIMI We believe and have faith in His ability to conquer whatever situation we find ourselves in — after all He conquered DEATH! Therefore my big mouth is not a problem to Him. 

All this is possible because we belong to Him and He lives in us. We have a God Who saves us, and Who lives in us! He has already saved us from the sin we will perpetrate against someone else by what we’ve said. Because of the Lord Jesus we have the deposit of self-control within us, by His Grace. All we need to do is to release it, using our faith. Controlling our mouths is the biggest part of our daily battle. Bye 👋.

P 2511 Keep an eye on your thinking.

/ DVH

Yes, I know, that title sounds dumb! However, our thoughts are actually far more powerful than we realise. They are the tugboats, or anchors leading to stuff that can sink, or drag our little ships off course. Things may seem harmless in our minds, but eventually big thoughts demand expression. Often we think about how angry we are, before we jump into telling the other person that we are mad at them. 

Perhaps we want to explain our POV to someone, and we are hoping that they will finally understand us. Fat chance. If you find yourself thinking up your own reply before the other person has finished explaining their POV – you’ve fallen down a big hole and stopped listening. Plus you may even become defensive. A peaceful mind is a huge blessing and Jesus gave us His peace.  His peace is part of our inheritance! It is ours by faith. It isn’t just a matter of somehow controlling our emotions, it is about cultivating our God-given ability to keep our minds focussed on His kingdom. We need to realise our responses are still our choices – even the ones that are made on the spot.

The bible says this: “As a man thinks, so shall he be.”Proverbs 23:7. Our own mindsets are gateways to either the kingdom of God, or the kingdom of darkness. Murder, coveting, stealing, adultery etc. etc. all happen in a person’s thoughts, long before they ever commit the crime. People do appalling things, and we are bombarded and saturated by their ugly actions even in social media. Personally, I agree with the bible, we can’t just get rid of grumpy nasty thoughts, we have to choose to replace them with better ones.(See 2 Corinthians 10:5.)

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”Philippians 4:8. Replacing thoughts with things that don’t lead you off a cliff, is a skill. You can learn it. I am currently learning from the Holy Spirit to ask Him – “What do You want me to understand about what just happened?” He has shown me it is easier to let your mind dwell on kingdom things when you find the good. Often what is good about these potentially explosive situations is this — I can learn something about my own inner responses that I didn’t know. Or I realise my frustration is coming from powerlessness and I yield to Him. He’s not powerless!

Here are some other things I’ve found useful. Refuse to watch things on TV that affect you. Some things on TV give me an opportunity to get sooooo mad, and for me the news is one of them. Personally, I think the news is biased and shaded to increase its appeal. It is also often so sensationalised it gives us an opportunity to become angry at other nameless strangers and their behaviour. 

It is extremely difficult to think loving caring thoughts toward people who deliberately hurt others! If you’ve ever found yourself shouting at the TV you will understand what I mean. It is far more helpful to pray for the people who are involved. Including the perpetrator.  Governing our thoughts is part of the leadership of the Holy Spirit in our lives. “And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Matthew 24:12-13.

Finding the good can become a way of thinking. Immediately you feel annoyance rising, that is a cue to submit yourself to the Lord. The Holy Spirit loves to help us obey the Word of God, that is why He is here! Even though this world often thinks and behaves badly, our lives do not have to be about these things that appear in front of our eyes every single day. Instead our focus can be fixed on thanking Him for helping us. He will share with us what He sees, so we can pray. Plus we can ask Him how we can be part of releasing His answers into this world. 

Our world is overwhelmed by sorrow, and obsessed with wickedness, and man’s idea of righteous indignation. We don’t have to subscribe to, or ingest that stuff to pray about it. Sometimes my prayers are really brief. “Dear Jesus please redeem that situation, thank You,” Amen.

“But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever]. [That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.” Romans 8:6. This verse is also part of our answer. If we expect mankind to rise up into higher attitudes and thoughts, without being changed. That is like expecting a heatwave in the middle of a snowstorm. It’s a great idea but it is not gunna happen! 

WE are His catalysts for good in this world. As His representatives it is imperative we keep our eyes on what we are idly thinking about. I repent all the time. I want to continually walk with the One Who loves the sinner, even though He hates the sin. Bye for now, 👋🏻.

P 2504 NEVER underestimate the power in forgiveness.

/ DVH

When we forgive others, especially if and when they don’t deserve it …  this means we are His disciples, we are following Jesus. Plus we are living in obedience to the Lord’s commandment to “…love one another ...”  The idea that we cannot forgive people is a lie, it’s from the pit. However, forgiveness is not lip-service. It is a promise that I won’t hold whatever has happened against you again. That’s the WAY Christ forgave us!

Jesus Christ released all the power we will ever need to overcome sin, sickness and the devil from the cross. However, we cannot successfully walk in that power without cultivating a relationship with the Holy Spirit. We receive the power to be transformed, when we receive and welcome Him into our lives. Unforgiveness is not an option to us! This process will kill off the old man in us.

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All power in heaven and on earth is given to Me…” Matthew 28:18 “But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—He then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to MEN.” Matthew 9:6-8. “I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” Luke 10:19. “But you will receive power and ability when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be My witnesses [to tell people about Me] both in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and Samaria, and even to the ends of the earth.” Acts:1:8. The very foundation stone of God’s kingdom is forgiveness!

Forgiving people means you are releasing His power, and His Grace into that situation. It is no different than healing a headache or raising the dead. These things take choices, together with His Grace, particularly if the other person/s have deliberately and consistently hurt you. But Jesus died to give us that power. Now the power of His incredible forgiveness has been released all over this earth – it cannot be stopped! “Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven; whose sins you shall retain, are retained.” John 20:23. 

Unfortunately we also have power from Him to continue to hold people right where they are. If we don’t forgive them, then they will be stuck. Because sin separates humanity from God – the only way to remedy that is to release His Grace into someone else’s life. Maybe they will change, maybe they will not – they have a free will. However we will be changed by doing it –  we will no longer be held captive by other people’s sins. We have been given the power to speak GRACE and LIFE into others. We cannot walk in the power of the risen Christ unless we live in the land of constant forgiveness -.His  kingdom!

Unforgiveness is the Christian’s Kryptonite. It renders us weak, powerless, helpless and hopeless — those things are the exact opposite of everything Jesus died to give us. It literally is like this — unforgiveness nails one foot to the floor and the person goes round and round and round – getting nowhere. If you have noticed you are going nowhere spiritually – ask the Lord:  “Who do I need to forgive?”

I am not talking about chasing rabbit trails, I am talking about anybody in your life that makes you grit your teeth, or want to go hide in a cupboard. Anybody you see as hurting you, or being stronger than you are, is oppressing you. We cannot be oppressed when we are choosing His Ways – our choice to live differently frees us. Now, today, we’ve already been taken out of this world’s kingdom, and translated into the kingdom of His marvellous light. Other people can only hold us captive with our permission.

This is why we need to choose between anger and revenge – and peace and grace. People have been free inside in the worst prisons, because “… those whom the Son has set free shall be free indeed.” The first port of call we have in any given situation is forgiveness. Park there. Don’t move from that spot. I have been forgiving some people who can’t see me at all, yet they think they know me. Unfortunately they have kept right on hurting me for 70+ years – it is possible to forgive in the presence of persecution. The people who practice forgiveness are kingdom people.

Meanwhile, FYI, hating, hurting, manipulating or controlling others is not Godly. When a Christian lives like that, it is a sign that they have not yet had a revelation about the freedom they have been given to choose to live in His kingdom! They are valuing the enemy’s usurped pitiful power, over the real power Jesus gave us freely. Real power CREATES, it does not destroy! It is far more powerful to forgive. Those ugly things in anyone’s life will suck every single bit of joy, peace, and holiness out of our lives like a straw drains a milkshake! Those things destroy families.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16. Never underestimate the POWER of forgiveness. 👋🏻.