Child

P 3339 Let the children come …

/ DVH

“When Jesus saw what was happening, He became indignant with His disciples and said to them, “Let all the little children come to Me and never hinder them! Don’t you know that God’s kingdom exists for such as these?” Mark 10:14 TPT. I’ve taught this text in Sunday School. The Lord’s exhortation is so precious, He was never too busy for little ones. We had a couple of lovely times with tiny children when we were away, and I thought I would share them here, today. Bearing in mind, that when marriages don’t work out, the kids will suffer as well. As a child I had no father, I know how much Daddys are needed.

Our first encounter was with a young mother and her little girl, who is about 2 years of age. We think they had been homeless, but then the mother found a job for a short while, running the motel. Unfortunately when we met them, that job was about to run out. Hubby always takes a bag of goodies for people, so he took one and a lovely book for a little one. This series talks about Who God is, how He made the world and how He loves children. It’s just right for little ones. 

So hubby gave the little girl one of those books, and the child was so delighted she ran to our door. Her mummy said she could give me a hug and, I have to say, it was the loveliest hug I have had in years. She danced off holding the colourful book beaming all over the place. I cried. Little ones today often want this expensive thing or that, and this dear little girl was so thrilled with an ordinary colourful book! I’m praying for her and her mummy that God will land them in a safe place. People don’t always tell us their stories, and we are just happy to help however we can.

The second incident involved a miracle. OK, many people might not call it that, but they are allowed to be wrong! The place we stayed in was attached to the owner’s garage, and there was a little boy, about 3 years old … and his little brother, who wasn’t walking yet. The boys were outside with their dad raking up the dead leaves. You get a lot of dead leaves in autumn! The child informed us he was going to be a gardener when he grew up! I must say, he did a fair job of sweeping and raking up leaves for a little guy.

The Lord reminded me of this series of children’s books we had brought with us, so hubby dug about in the car and came up triumphantly holding the right bag. I sat down with the Lord asking Him which ones He wanted us to give the two children. My intention was to find two books, one for him and one for his little brother, but I especially wanted pictures with gardens in them, for the 3 year old. I found a couple, there was one I thought would be suitable for a infant, and then I just picked up an odd extra one just to be sure. Hubby went off to give the gifts we always bring with us to bless our hosts. 

He came back beaming. Get this — it turned out the eldest boy had been collecting this whole series, and he lacked two books. Those two books we gave him were the only ones the parents couldn’t find for him anywhere! Of all the books we carry, the Lord had highlighted the two this little boy wanted. The ‘extra’ one I tucked in, ‘just in case’ it was not  needed, the child already had that one.. He was so delighted, apparently Daddy was told to read them both at bedtime. I just marvelled at the Lord’s heart toward little children. We had over thirty copies of these books from the series, yet God Himself picked the only two this child wanted, just to bless him. 

That is so like Jesus! He does not need a brass band, He loves to do things quietly, and secretly to bless us. The boy’s parents didn’t appear to have a living faith, they had collected the books because the little boy liked them so much, but they were very interested in what we were doing.

Last one – not quite the same as the other two, but it shows the Lord’s provision for a grown man who has a daughter he doesn’t see much. This one is fun, but it is bittersweet when you think about the pain of the child and the father. Previously, in the car, I had told hubby that he was going to meet a man in this place – most refuges only have women in charge for obvious reasons – and that he should give this man a compass. I was so sure about what the Lord had said! So hubby rolls up with our packets of blankets and …. a man greeted him at the door. It turns out they did have a man there … just one!

Compasses make a great illustrative gift for people who feel lost. Hubby brought this man outside to meet me, because he was thrilled that the Lord was right. I, on the other hand was pretty tired by now so I just blurted out: “God says you need a compass!” The young man stepped back when I said it, and his eyes filled with tears. Then he nodded. “I do!” He said. The Lord really impacted him. Eventually he said that he would take it with him when he picked his daughter up after school, so they could enjoy it together.   

Jesus told us to let the children come to Him, however, it was a great surprise to me to realise that we can help children come to Him simply by giving them something as simple as a book designed to speak to them. Bye 👋.

P 3083 Adaptability.

/ DVH

““Learn this well: Unless you dramatically change your way of thinking and become teachable like a little child, you will never be able to enter in.” Matthew 18:3 TPT.

Back when my kids were little, once a year I took the three of them, separately, off into the city to buy an individual ornament each for our Christmas tree. Those individual journeys included a visit to the Christmas theme park on Myer’s roof, a ride on something or other, plus a joyous inspection of the Myer windows. Then we wandered around the Christmas shop together choosing this year’s ornament. Finally they had a yummy treat, and a return long train ride home, with lots of time to talk. 

However, even though fun was on the agenda, I knew I was there to teach them how to be responsible caring people, whilst preserving as much of their childhood fun as I could. So somebody else, (me!), cleaned their clothes, and decided what they would eat, and I looked after them when they were sick etc. Unfortunately, once they started to grow up, things became more difficult. They didn’t like this and they wouldn’t eat that. Their ‘teachability’ and ‘adaptability’ levels dropped clear away as they grew older. 

I discovered today, when I spent time meditating on this verse from Matthew, that I personally have no idea how to be a child when I am with the Lord. After all children trust their parent to get things right! But that kind of freedom was absent from my own life, because I don’t think I actually knew very many carefree moments. I’m not complaining BTW, I simply lived with a distinct lack of the kind of freedom a happy child enjoys. So it continually clouded my view of the way the Lord sees me. 

And let us be clear —the Lord sees us as His children, as well as seeing us as His people. It dawned on me that I need my thinking transformed in this area as I have a limited human reference point to draw upon. I strongly suspect that I am not the only pickle in this barrel, many other people have had limited childhood experiences too! But is this what this verse is all about? Is it just the idea of being taken care of without even noticing? Or being able to play anywhere you want, whenever you want? I came to believe this verse is all about our inner attitude toward God Himself.

So I did further research and decided to look at children in other countries. And lo and behold, in the midst of war, starvation, and suffering, I saw that if a child can play, it will. We’ve all seen pictures of children playing in bomb sites, or in the dust and dirt of a refugee camp. I came to the conclusion that childlikeness is an inner attitude – it is not formed by our outward situations. It seems to me that Jesus is talking about the way we approach this life. Things like wanting to learn and being adaptable to change.

Those children in refugee camps etc. don’t want to be where they are, they would probably like a nice little safe house to live in, but their circumstances have taught them to ADAPT.And as I have aged, it seems I have become less adaptable. That attitude, plus life’s ongoing difficulties, trials and heartaches can actually keep me from the very place Father God wants me to live in! He wants me to remember that I can always be confident in Him, despite my inner or outward circumstances. 

Faith is defined in the dictionary like this:“complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” That’s when I took a good look at my own measure of faith and I decided that my somewhat oppressive childhood was no excuse. I can’t hide in what other people did to me, because now – today! – I have a choice. I can’t even hide in what some people continue to do to me …because my confidence is in GOD HIMSELF, not in my circumstances or other people’s actions. Whether I am damaged by this life, or ill because of my body’s weaknesses, I can still choose to live in complete confidence that God is with me, and for me, and He will finish the work He started in me.

That’s what childlikeness looks like. It is about trusting in  SomeOne Who is greater than I am – even when I don’t understand what is going on. Every single thing that happens to me does not always have to be assessed by my understanding because my understanding is broken! Unless I believe that God Himself means to do me good, when things look bad – I will start to lose my childlike attitude and trust. 

Wonder of wonders, my glorious Father has given me a book that gives me detailed descriptions of how He feels about me, (and many many other people) so I need to put my faith in His written word, more than I put it in whatever is going on around me. Children trust their parents to fix things – while they go on with what they are doing. In the end, I decided to pray to be more adaptable … how about you? 👋 

“Energise the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees. Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on His way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on His way! He’ll save you!” Isaiah 35:3-4.

P 2835 A little Christmas gift from me.

/ DVH

““Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG.

I laughed when I read this scripture today, because I put it at the bottom of yesterday’s blog, and it just seems to be following me around – I had better pay attention!  First of all, I think this version is such a sweet one because it is so accessible. It accurately diagnoses the things that cause us to lose sight of what Grace looks like – tired, worn out, fed up with religion. And it doesn’t just diagnose, it also provides sound spiritual medicine! Win, win.

Religious rules are easily learned and quite easily applied — but in my opinion, they do not further productive relationships, particularly spiritual ones. In fact I think religious rules can make you excessively watchful and very cranky about somebody else blatantly breaking them.You can become more like a policeman than a loving participant. The presence of any type of threat does not produce good fruit. It is like a child obeying its parents purely because it knows if it doesn’t it will receive a thrashing. 

Conversely, God’s love brings out the very best in people. So when we have someone who is a thorn in our side, we know we have a person that can be used by God to teach us this God-given, God-kissed skill. But first we will need to choose to die to looking after me, and what I want!  Yeah. You just knew there was a catch eh? We talked about forgiveness yesterday, so we will take that as a given, but we can’t just focus forgiveness, we must move on into pressing into God.  That’s because people do dumb inconsiderate hurtful things – A LOT. Sometimes it can seem like that is their gift to society … when I know people like this, I quite often want a refund! 

I try to be real when I write this blog. So if I recommend something, it is because I have tried it and I know it works, but it only works with HIS help. I’ve checked that out, I can’t do any of this stuff without Him! I want to qualify those remarks by saying, I don’t think I was ever a ‘Lone Ranger’ type. I need my hand held and someone nice to teach me, and the Holy Spirit always does that.  Plus I’m pretty sure I’m the kind of person who seeks shelter in a storm rather than braving the elements … BUT … I know I am also quite opinionated, and I can fly off the handle when I think something is unfair or unreasonable. It’s hilarious isn’t it? I hate people being unreasonable but I can easily become excessively unreasonable about things when stuff doesn’t suit me! There’s a lesson in there somewhere. 😳

The Lord Jesus is giving us brilliant spiritual advice in this verse. Don’t go to your Mum, or Dad, or best friend, or your spouse – go to HIM, first. There are lots of great reasons why we should do this- here’s one: “In His presence there is fullness of JOY.” The secret is to seek Him no matter how we feel, because although the Lord sometimes plays ‘hide and seek’ to draw us closer to Himself, the bible reassures us that we will find Him! The bible is truer than our knowledge or experiences – or lack of them. We can’t measure His book by what we know, or even don’t know. God’s Ways work best when we take His Word over whatever is going on around us. And “help” is still a great prayer. 

If someone said they had left you a million dollars, wouldn’t you at least get in touch with the bank to check it out? You know you would! Everything God says in His book is accessible when we apply our faith. Faith means we can’t see it, but because of the veracity, stature and nature of the One Who said it, we believe it anyway – we believe it enough to act on it. Believing is more than agreeing. If you never go to the bank to get your 1,000,000 dollars it will stay in the bank forever, waiting for you to claim it. God has given us a measure of faith, it’s OURS.

Almighty God knows everything there is to know about rest. The bible tells us He did it first. He rested from His labours on the seventh day. Why? I dunno! As an example to us?? I know He wasn’t tired, because He does not grow weary! That’s also in the book!! The more we know and deliberately act on His word, and seize every opportunity that comes our way, the more the truth of everything the Lord has said begins to resonate in our hearts. Learning to rest is a great place to start. God’s word will stay a theory if we never ever check it out. 

Our personal faith deposit from Him, will continue to sit in the bank unused, until we get desperate, or the ceiling falls in. Unfortunately, when bad things happen to us, that’s actually a lousy time to start practicing faith. When life gets hard, our spiritual hearing aids stop working. Panic sets in. In the above scripture, Jesus is encouraging us to walk with Him and work with Him – absolutely nothing in that sentence is passive. My Christmas gift to you is to exhort you to start acting on what you already know. Bye. 👋🎁

“What good does it do for you to say I am your Lord and Master if you don’t put into practice what I teach you?”Luke 6:46

P 2723 The one word that changes everything!

/ DVH

This morning when I prayerfully thought about what I wanted to write about today, I realised that a great deal of what I have previously said over all these years, that can be accomplished by simply walking in love.

1 Corinthians 14:1a says:“Make love your aim …” I’ve often found myself wishing that there was a full stop right after those four powerful words. In fact, I don’t think we can read the bible without remembering LOVE WAS GOD’S AIM WHEN HE WROTE IT! In another version, the same verse says:“Earnestly pursue love …”  In another it says: “make it your great quest …” 1 Corinthians 13 is titled … the WAY of love. Sometimes I think we can get so enthusiastic about using methods and acquiring knowledge, as well as implementing this and that, we can quickly forget Jesus exhorted us to be a people with a child-like attitude. Matthew 18:2-4 says:

“He (Jesus) called a little child to Him, and placed the child among them. And He said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

So did you get that? Grown ups don’t qualify. Knowledge and power actually mess with our obedience levels and simplicity. As a child I can remember wishing I could hurry up and grow up because grown-ups had power, and I had none. Hmmm. Many many years later I can see the error of that thought, but it took me a while.

So what do I mean by walking in love? Here’s what that means for me, I often ask myself the question …is it love? You know sometimes things are expedient, but there’s no love in them. In our hurry hurry rush rush world, which always seems like it must run full speed ahead at all times, we can do things that are not love, because they are easier. We might even justify them by saying: it is not natural to respond with love!  Ya might like to think about that thought… because we are supernatural people now. Yet it seems far easier to shout, grumble, and find fault with someone else, than to question yourself… but ….

… what would LOVE do? 

Did you notice how I just left that line there all by itself?? That’s because it is important. We really can’t fit love in around the edges of our busy lives. Loving God and others IS our life now. So how do you love others easily? Here’s my answer – you choose, over and over and over again, to die to yourself. The self is a major factor in most of the wars, evil doings, illegal operations, and appalling treatment that we have all perpetrated toward other human beings. A whole lot of sin starts with Me thinking about ME and mine and what I want.

Now if you are wondering what kind of love I am talking about? Then 1 Corinthians 13 supplies us with the answer and a perfect description. If you like to memorise verses, that’s a great one to memorise. Sometimes I ask myself these questions: Was I impatient, not allowing someone else to have a learning curve and forgetting that I often need one? Was I unkind, hurting someone else to make my point? Was I envious, because someone else has managed something better than I could? Was I boastful, full of myself, or just plain rude. 

Did I insist on my own way above the needs of others? Was I irritable, did I bring up the past, because of my own harboured resentment? Was I finding my jollies by pointing out someone else’s sin? Did I put the truth aside to make sure my POV was more important than anything else? Have I celebrated someone else’s downfall because I don’t like them?

Do I personally love the Lord’s revealed truth? Is it more important to me to feel good about myself than to help someone else see the best in themselves? Have I forgotten to hide myself under the overwhelming love of God? He knows how to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and how to endure all things. Jesus is my perfect illustration of what love in action looks like. And the Holy Spirit is my Helper, Guide, Companion, Teacher …

The thing I have learnt is that WHEN LOVE COMES TO TOWN, EVERYTHING CHANGES…even me! All I need to do is to pause, ask for His help and do what love would do. Love is never wasted. It can be tested and tried to enhance its purity but it cannot be wasted. That’s because this kind of love is eternal. Instructions come and go, systems fail, but love will last forever, so I need to learn this truth before I run out of time. Love, is the one word that changes everything. Bye. 👋

P 2699 Nothing happens by chance.

/ DVH

I read this yesterday, and I thought it might be a blessing for others. It’s an exhortation from the translators of the Passion bible written by Brian Simmons and Gretchen Rodriguez: It’s a great word, it lifted my spirit and I hope it does you good as well. We’ve been blessing people all week, and today it’s your turn! The Lord says to YOU –

“Come into the secret place and find encouragement that waters your thirsty soul. I have words of life to share with you today and living-understanding to strengthen you. Run into the shelter of My presence and let My love wash over you in a fresh way. I don’t offer stale bread to My hungry lovers. Eat of My now word. Tune your ear to My Voice.

Give Me the heavy weight of the burden of fear you are carrying. There may be uncertainty in your life, but I see everything clearly. There are no mysteries to Me, and I won’t let the tides of confusion sweep you away. See how My hand holds you steady. You cannot escape the grip of My glorious grace, child. 

What wondrous plans I have for you. What a future you have in Me. Let Me guide you further into My goodness as you follow My leading. I promise never to let you go or get too far ahead. I give you eyes to see from My perspective. Look to Me, and nothing will ever shatter your hope.”

Praise God for their gift of exhortation! Moving on to some real life testimonies … … we had a brief break last week and it seemed to us that the Lord is much more ready for us to speak to people than we are to do it! Any time we go anywhere, we find that there are suddenly numerous opportunities to talk to strangers. In the shops, or even to tradesmen in our home.

At our house, we have had some things break down and afterward we realised what happened wasn’t about the broken item … it was about us talking to the person who came to fix it!  We’ve seen this over and over again, Father God will bring people to us. He really is looking for His kids to share the wealth of heart knowledge He has given all of us. We need to freely talk about Him! This past week we have had all kinds of opportunities to encourage strangers..

While we were away, the internet in our rented holiday unit fell over, so a tech guy turned up to fix it. We were chatting away to each other, and we just included this guy in our conversation. After about five minutes, told us he had been very sick recently and he was very scared because he thought he might have had cancer. Now that is definitely God! People rarely go that deep that quickly with strangers!!

This young man went on to say they discovered it was coeliac’s disease. So hubby prayed for him. Meanwhile, the silly internet still kept blanking out…!!  You know, God isn’t interested in our comfort, but He IS always interested in people. Like I’ve said before, knowing His Ways helps a lot!

On Tuesday this week, a carer came to our house to clean the floors for us. To be truthful, I was a bit annoyed because I found out that our usual lady wasn’t coming …again! I never do these spiritual sums until afterward – I guess I’m a slow learner!! It has taken me four weeks to work out that we’ve not had our usual helper each time because the Lord wanted us to talk to other helpers about Him! 🙄 

This particular young woman was delightful and we very much enjoyed her company. She did a great job too. We had a very profitable time talking about her life, our lives, and the Lord. So much so she said; “I could stay here all day!” She also kept saying, over and over again: “There is so much joy in this house, I’ve never been in a home with this much joy before.”  You know, sometimes I’m so dumb I don’t notice things, unless the Holy Spirit sticks a great big “look here, dummy” sign on it! Hmm… you might think I’m joking … I’m NOT!

Hubby decided to call ahead to a place we are going to be staying at next week, as we make our way up north to give away bibles. He spoke about bringing blankets, toiletries and food for the poor. The young lady on the phone nearly came through the phone she was so excited. Apparently most small towns are quite overlooked when it comes to government aid. However the Holy Spirit personally picked that town. Who knew they had a homeless problem there? He did. 

I just want to finish today by saying that the Lord’s plans for us, to bless us, include everyone around us. Nothing happens by chance. It is good to see even inconvenient interruptions as opportunities for His kingdom. Bye 👋

1 Peter 2:9 ESV“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvellous light.”

P 2686 The way we see others …

/ DVH

makes all the difference!! 

For years I had quite strong expectations regarding the people who are close to me – people like family, friends and relatives …I hoped they would be nice to me because I had a broken-heart because of a difficult early life. That’s what you call an unwise expectation!  I was very immature and quite dependant on other people’s approval. My time recently has been spent growing UP!

I think I kind of expected other people to be nice to me because I was abused as a child. And those people who hurt me, were still in my life. Some of their personal faults and proclivities meant they actually formed my world-view in the first place!  But I’ve learnt over time, that unless Jesus is in charge we all remain the same, and sometimes … we can get worse! Putting the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket is a very dumb idea.

This was kind of like a giant chip on my shoulder, but I didn’t know it was there, I thought how I felt was normal because of my greatly disrupted early life. I saw myself as broken and it was someone else’s fault, not mine, so I couldn’t help it. Meanwhile I totally ignored the fact that as an adult I now had the power to change! Everyone else seemed so normal, and it often looked to me like I was the odd man out. I did not make allowances for the fact that others are as broken, if not more so, than I am. We are all broken in different ways.

When we choose to view life through pain, sorrow and suffering, it can result in a distorted view. I was a very disappointed, broken-hearted, and sometimes angry child – now walking about in an adult body, with a warped view of others. Sadly that meant at that time I was making a choice to go round and round in a little whirlpool, instead of advancing up the river, under the Lord’s loving Eye. Meanwhile, if these people happened to hurt me again, then that was often the final straw. That action meant that they would never change, they would never be nice to me! And despair joined the party.

I wish I could say that Christianity totally healed me from any of those thoughts and ideas, but it didn’t. It sort of kind of fed them, by telling me over and over that I was fine, God loved me, but I was definitely broken, it was not my fault and I desperately needed healing! I was one of those people who were never going to triumph in adversity purely because of my back ground. That meant that I chased healing up one hill and down the other, using pretty messed up faith. Unfortunately what I believed at that time actually cemented me into the very place I wanted to escape from!

That’s when the Lord began to deal with me. He was gentle and kind, but firm and unrelenting. He made it clear that I could no longer go forward excusing my behaviour whilst I was holding other people to account for theirs!  I love these words from the bible  “…but God …” because HE is always the real reason we keep moving on. He is so patient, and many times I’ve clung tightly to the words in Matthew 12:20, that say this about Jesus:“He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally He will cause justice to be victorious.”

I started to understand just how broken everyone else is. We all need healing, and the people I was interacting with didn’t know Him at all. That meant if I wanted to see real change then someone was going to have to co-operate with Him! He gave me this strategy: “What if you choose to see those people as human beings – not as someone who owes you something?” That meant viewing them as lost, broken, damaged human beings, just like me..

You know in all those years in the wilderness wandering around desperately looking for someone who could heal my broken heart, it never occurred to me that I had the power for change already …but I wasn’t using it. I could choose to forget the past and simply love the people I was avoiding or I disliked. He gave all of us that power at Calvary. He chose, and now I can too. So I did. I chose to believe Him and not how I felt. I let go of any expectations that the other people would EVER change and grabbed hold of His hand – because HE will never change. Now He’s teaching me to love the unlovely, the people who persecuted me, and those who were supposed to love me but they didn’t or couldn’t.

When I made that choice, it opened my eyes. I already knew lots of scriptures about forgiveness. The reality was I read them, and I prayed and I meant it. However, I got disappointed over and over again because forgiveness didn’t seem to help me with how I felt – and the other person did not change. It was then that  I saw that my forgiveness was conditional, it relied upon the other person changing.

Praise God my feelings eventually caught up with His reality. The way we see others, makes all the difference.  God  is gently teaching me His Way to love, how to look and see others the Way He sees them. If I don’t expect things from others then I won’t be disappointed if they lack the ability to love. I have to see everyone through His eyes and leave my expectations with Him. This life is about learning to love, even those people who don’t love us. When we live that way – we are truly free.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11.👋

P 2639 The hardest thing for a parent to do …

/ DVH

…is to love their grown up child, and hate their kid’s sin. As we all know, little kids are a lot of work, nappies, feeding, tantrums, cuddles, sleeping  – all that stuff is hard physically and mentally. It’s a demanding time. But – the hardest days are ahead — teaching your older kids to obey a God they cannot see is much harder. Unless they are prepared to read His book. 

Every bad habit you ever had or saw in yourself, can start to come out back at you, in their behaviour. As the maturing child grows you might end up judging your own investment in their lives, and feel like you fell short. Years of teaching, talking, redirecting, unselfishness and sacrifice are often forgotten. So when that older kid flops its big toe across the line and stares you right in the eye … while they are living without the Lord, and they refuse to change … that stuff is utterly devastating.

Some kids are so adept at getting what they want, they know exactly what buttons to press. In those moments we need to be careful. We can’t afford to come into agreement with a way of life that is out of agreement with God’s ways. Yet you can be so tempted to agree because you love your kid!

I know a little bit about this subject. Our kids are all now fully-mature functioning adults with grown-up kids of their own. But one of my adult children doesn’t walk with Jesus and they live somewhere else. Let me be very clear – I still miss that kid in my life. The pain from the semi-estrangement can be so hard I choose to refuse to think about it. Because I know that I can get caught up in the details of my own failure, and end up in blame and guilt. I second-guess my much earlier decisions and blame myself for the adult child’s wrong decisions.

Praise Jesus, I’ve learnt to hand this kind of situation over to Him and say: “I failed! Your turn!” The hardest thing for a parent to do is to keep on praying … but walk away. As a parent, you can throw His love over their fence – figuratively – as the Lord leads you, but don’t be tempted to try to change them. Let them come to you. And when and if they repent, do wait to see the fruit of their repentance. Refuse to be blackmailed by sad sack faces, and pleas of ‘it will be different this time, I promise.’  We cannot afford to let torment and guilt drag us around by the heart, we need to be led by HIS LOVE – which never ceases, but has boundaries.

The verse from yesterday really spoke to me: “…they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:32. I have dear friends whose adult kids are living in terrible life-styles, far away from the Lord. Of course they love their kids and hate to disapprove of them, however these grown up kids are light years away from that little child we can still see! Unfortunately, when your kids don’t follow the Lord, blame can follow you around like a rottweiler! It’s ready to grab and bite your ankles and drag you under. The devil is not satisfied with just tormenting you, hurting your kid and hurting you through your kid, he wants to destroy your faith as well.

An adult kid still knows how to get at you – manipulation is often its middle name! It can wind you around its little finger. Sadly, it doesn’t care about right and wrong, it will try every which way to drag your approval out of you. Even when it is clear to everyone else that the way that kid is living is not helping them! Christian parents can get sucked into the vortex of throwing love, lifelines and even money at wayward adult children in the hope that somehow that will convince them that the parent loves them and so does God. The raw truth is – when we do that, we are approving of, and feeding the very behaviour that needs change. 

The thing to do is to make your position, lovingly and clearly, and maybe say stuff like this: “ I am not rejecting you – you are bigger than this sinful lifestyle. I love you, I always will, I will always feed you if you are hungry. But what you are doing, the way you are living, is wrong, and I will not invest my approval, finances, and energy to help you go the WRONG WAY. I will not help you to go to hell!” Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. And sadly our society approves of everything! There is enormous pressure on parents. However, God loves them more than you do. Step out of His way. 

Only you know the maturity of your child. For some kids this relinquishment of responsibility might have to happen earlier rather than later. Don’t EVER stop loving them, but don’t dive in with them and let them run the show when they are clearly living sinful lives. Hold fast to your faith that God hears and He will deliver them. May the Lord give you grace to stand up against the devil’s onslaught. Amen. 🥲

P 2631 Beware of roadblocks.

/ DVH

There is a possibility in our lives that we can have hidden, (even from ourselves), agendas – things that will inadvertently get in the way of true growth. Sometimes we can get caught up in our minds or emotions with ideas, people or things that we fiercely defend, but we are totally unaware that is what we are doing. Over a longer period of time, we can also learn to carefully avoid some situations because we are subconsciously aware that we don’t cope with them. Likewise, we can steer away from, or even get angry about, some things, purely because there is concealed pain behind them.

Ask yourself this question – apart from Jesus Himself – Who is THE most important person in your life – is there anyone or anything that you strongly feel that you cannot live without? Maybe a person who you value so much, that even the smallest thought of loss can send you into fear or anxiety? If you are a parent, maybe it’s a child …whether it is an adult child or not …  or perhaps a spouse;  or a close friend. Even the thought of any loss connected with these things can send you into an overwhelming downward spiral. If even the very thought of letting go of something or someone sends us into a panic – that is a clear indication something has grabbed hold of us!

You know, the thing we are most afraid of, can sometimes be the greatest spiritual strength in our lives, when we overcome that fear with His help. Always remembering that His help leads us TO DO SOMETHING. Perhaps there is a job we don’t want to lose, or we’ve fixated on finding somewhere safe to live – but this thing, whatever it is, influences every other decision we make. And it may not even consciously register in our minds. In this scenario that person or thing, no matter how normal or insignificant they seem to be, can become a roadblock to spiritual growth. 

When things get tough, and hardship strikes — this predisposition to protect ourselves and hide from suffering, will get in the way of any of the Holy Spirit’s solutions. Simply put, we won’t ask Him to help us with someone or something we don’t want to lose … just in case He takes that thing or person away! Plus we can easily go on from there to make decisions based on fear and pain instead of what the Lord wants. 

It is incredibly easy to think we know what is best for us – but that decision can be formed within the framework of hidden fear NOT FAITH. The assumption that our feelings, or even familiar thought patterns are a good guide, is a lie! The Word of God is our primary, solitary guide. I have seen godly parents put up with abuse, because they feel they cannot live without their fully grown child and the sneaky wrong spirit in that adult child ends up ruling the roost.

Or maybe the parent is afraid of what will become of their progeny and sadly, co-dependency has taken hold. We can sometimes desperately pray and hope: “that Jesus won’t mind, because He understands I can’t help it, I need it to be like this.” Read the gospels … the Lord told one man to leave his recently deceased father behind!

I have also seen sweet Godly Christians hurt others because they refuse to let go of something that should have been left behind them years ago. That has been caused by fear which has been carried forward from childhood pain. It can colour our adult thinking. The thing to do in such situations is to get to the root of the tree by asking WHY?

Why do I feel so strongly that I cannot let go of my child, or spouse etc. and give them to Jesus unreservedly, without any agenda in my heart? What pattern of ungodly thinking is preventing my growth? What fear is ruling my life? How did it start, and what am I still doing now, today, to keep that fear alive? We need to prayerfully identify and deal with these issues under the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and guidance.

Our God is not mean. He is a loving caring Father, who is deeply involved, and intimately engaged in our everyday lives. BTW, this issue is not about disobedience, it is a deep lack of trust. We are not trusting the Lord to take care of those things that are extremely important to us. Sadly we could even be letting fear rule. But our precious loving Father knows us, and He knows the way we need to go to get through things like this. We must follow Him, step by step into relinquishment. It is not good to hold on to other people so tightly that you lose your own God-given freedom!

Matthew 16:19:“I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” The Lord Jesus Christ gave His power to the disciples when they were too dumb to know what they were given. That’s how generous to mankind He has been! We can personally prevent any change in difficult situations or even dangerous ones by misusing the power we already have — instead of yielding people or material things to Him and progressively learning to live a life of faith. We need to let go of those things that weigh us down. At the same time by holding on too tightly to someone/something else we have the power to prevent growth and change in that other person or situation.

It is part of our job description to voluntarily choose to live this new life Jesus died to give us, embracing the power to overcome, instead of hiding away from it because it might pinch something from us! Plus always watching and aware of any roadblocks or ‘keep-out signs’ we have inadvertently put up or embraced… because we know those things will steal His new life away from us. Bye. 👋

P 2424 This is His way.

/ DVH

“So I kneel humbly in awe before the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, the perfect Father of every father and child in heaven and on the earth. And I pray that He would unveil within you the unlimited riches of His glory and favour until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with His divine might and explosive power.Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of His love will become the very source and root of your life. 

Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is His love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God!” Ephesians 3:14-19 TPT.

We don’t do the things that Jesus did or the things He asks us to do simply because He needs our hands and feet. We are not His robots, or even His portable advertising!  Christians do what they do to be obedient and their obedience expresses their loving devotion to Him. But at the same time the more we walk with Him in that obedience, the more we will see and experience His incredible Love for us. This is the very heart of these wonderful verses in Ephesians 3.

His love for us, as well as in us, these things are the riches we’ve been promised. Forget gold, silver and precious stones, His love is beyond price! And His Loving heart is toward us. He is like that King, Ahasuerus, who adored his wife, so he held out his sceptre toward Esther even when she  disobeyed the rules of his kingdom. God’s heart reaches toward us, to relieve us of our burdens and to help us with life’s difficulties. There are days when others do not like me or my company, but those days, those feelings, don’t reflect Him. Nothing will alter His love toward me. That is a huge gift. In those moments, I simply must believe what He says, not how I feel.

Years ago on ancient TV in the 1950s, we had an ad in this country for a man’s hair product, called Brylcreem. Its motto was “a little dab’ll do ya.” Father God’s love is NOT like Brylcreem! It is not mingy, or space-saving or economical! Christ’s sacrificial love sustains this universe and beyond. Despite what the scientists say, if God withdrew His loving favour from mankind the stars would fall out of the sky. Read the book of Revelation! You will see written there what happens when His boundless Love is withdrawn from the earth. His love is the incredibly powerful force that holds this world, including us, together.

The more we use our faith by being obedient, the more His love expands within us, until it becomes the very centre of our lives. Slowly His love transforms and replaces any imperfect human love we have that may have done damage to our hearts. Some of our responses are not sin – pain causes reactions too. However, the knowledge of His love is expanded in our hearts as we watch Him touch other people’s lives through us. 

While we were away this time, because of a series of God-ordained events, we managed to give an older cleaning lady a keychain. Her face seemed hardened by age and life, she was tiny but she looked tough. Scary even! But the Lord said to bless her, so we did. And the most amazing thing happened. Her face cracked open, and she looked just like a happy little child. Transformation happened right in front of our eyes. She danced up and down on the spot. This keychain was the most delicate one I have ever made. I probably would not have given her that particular one – my own judgment of how she looked would have gotten in the way! 

None of us know how hardened anyone else can become inside and out, because this life can deal each one of us terrible blows. In order to go on, human beings put on protective armour. That armour often changes our outward appearance, and at the same time it can alter what comes out of our mouths! Just like a barking dog that is scared of a stranger – we can become vicious and mean. But Father God’s love goes right around our disguises and touches hearts. Then we have the privilege of seeing someone else the way He designed them, that utterly transforms both parties, and opens their eyes to new possibilities. 

The bible says:  “perfect love casts out all fear…” The reality is, if we are afraid, it is not enough to just know this verse, that’s simply words. We need to know the heart of the One Who is speaking love over us. Watching Him work in the lives of the people around us opens our eyes to how incredible His love is. It seems upside down to think that in order to get love, we will have to give away Love. But that is His Way. It’s the way of faith. His way forward is for us to learn LOVE. 👋🏻

P 2409 Better than … !

/ DVH

““Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God Who conceived you in love will be even better?” Matthew 7:7-11 MSG.

We all know these verses, actually, in some places they have almost been enshrined! This scripture is not about our rights, or what we can gain – I believe it is actually about God revealing Himself. He is explaining that He is far better than any earthly father! Further on, in conjunction with these verses, He makes it clear that He will always give the Holy Spirit to those who ask for Him. He is explaining His total commitment to generosity. Our problem is this … do we believe Him?

Father God is saying if we want something from Him we can ask for it in a direct manner. We don’t need to exchange favours with Him to get His attention … because we already have His favour! Thank you Jesus! These verses are about us misjudging Him on the basis of life-experiences and observations. I want to say that there have been times that God has given me something that looked, to my eyes – like sawdust, or a snake – But. I. Was. Wrong! 

Our God thinks long term. What seemed bad to me at that time was actually a blessing in disguise. Everything depends on the way we view things. We must simply start from the premise … God is always good … otherwise we can fall down endless sink-holes of despair and disappointment. He cannot be our last resort – He must be the place we start, by having great confidence in His nature.

We need to live with the joyous expectancy that He is so much better than our own current experiences, or even our past ones. Living a life of faith means leaving room for our own growth. Always. None of us have arrived. The point is we dare not assess God with human standards. Personally I think we are on thin ice assessing Him AT ALL! Let’s just believe He is Who He says He is, and He will do what He says He will do. Remember our confidence is in WHO HE IS  … His nature … not in getting what we think we want or need – no matter how compelling our story is.

It seems to me that Father God’s heartache is revealed in these verses. It saddens me to think we have reduced any revelation of the Lord Himself into a method to get Him to do what WE want … by quoting Himself back to Him! These verses are not about that. At the bottom of what has been said in Matthew, I hear His disappointment with our response to His goodness. I feel like He is saying: “Surely you think I would be better than you?!” And sadly many Christians would rather trot out their disappointments and illustrations of unanswered prayer, as proof He is not! 

Many times we have even concocted arguments that prove that our request was not unworthy – so why hasn’t the Lord done His part? After all we prayed! I would like to know where is the LOVE the bible talks about in that approach? I mean the kind of love that hopes all things, believes all things and never fails? Those verses in 1 Corinthians 13 are not a one way street – God Himself is describing how He sees love. What it means to Him. This is His standard, if you like, of what LOVE looks like! This is also how HE would like to be treated. Again, He is revealing Himself.  Part of any relationship is seeing the other person’s POV – and acknowledging it by acting accordingly.  

Almighty God is telling us that we can ask whatever we want with confidence and He will not only hear us but He has the best answer in mind every single time. Does NO mean we will go on to doubt Who He is? Little children hate no, but real people of faith are always looking for better than. And they already know that waiting will stretch them. We must stop chasing His benefits and go after His heart.

These verses are His better than answer. His love is better than any father who tricks or tries to frighten His kid. Almighty God does not play around with our feelings. We definitely need to know Him better than that! The Lord never wants His kids to feel tricked or scared – He wants them to know, in their hearts, that He is so trustworthy they can have complete confidence in His answers. Psalm 39:7 says this: “And now, God, I’m left with one conclusion:  My only hope is to hope in You alone!”Um! …I’m pretty sure our Heavenly Father doesn’t want to be our booby prize!  I think He wants to be our better than … Our constant ongoing hope no matter what!!   🤗