Broken-hearted

P 3349 Real life.

/ DVH

I have a question —  how do you handle the everyday difficulties that frustrate you? When we get back from a mission trip, all kinds of not-so-nice things can happen. Instead of floating about on a cloud of victory, praising God for His goodness in our travels, we suddenly need to cope with unexpected illness or some frustration or other. I like to be truthful about this life, and that’s because our faith needs to be realistic, not glamorised. Trust me, nobody needs to feel a failure for being human – Jesus took man’s humanity in His stride, and kindness and compassion flowed out from Him. 

Let’s remind ourselves that whatever happens that is good, right and profitable, it is the Lord doing what He loves to do, reaching out to people. Personally I definitely need that kind of spiritual exercise!  The deliberately renewing of your mind when you’d rather have a hissy fit … kind. When there are day-to-day difficulties and challenges, it is easy to fall into the trap of over-emphasising the good, diminishing the bad, and deliberately losing sight of the ugly! But we can’t afford to live in the beautifully, hand-painted land of one glorious victory after another, either. That’s not reality … not where I live! 

We are no less His kids just because we can’t cope. Living in victory every moment of every day is just a happy story we tell ourselves because we are desperately longing for  brighter days. We we really need is relief from pain and we’ve forgotten our true hiding place is in Him. “God is close to the broken-hearted,” Psalm 34:18 …But when our feelings are fierce and we’ve been stabbed through the heart, or we are afraid, we don’t often remember verses like that. If you have a friend who will remind you – cherish them.

Today I want to talk about something so simple, sensible, and clearly thought out, it thoroughly blessed me in the middle of a difficult time. I was listening to a very ordinary little old lady (Yes I know I are one!) She was briefly speaking in a YouTube clip. She said this: “Why do we think everything should always be wonderful in our lives, and work so hard to achieve it, when we are actually living in enemy territory?” … … I was poleaxed. She blew my mind. What a wise older lady! The Lord sure has His precious gems hidden away in secret, and when you discover one like this precious saint, they bless you. When I find someone like this I want to adopt them! 

My point is, we need balance. We can’t make excuses for our behaviour when it is less than what we are aiming at,  but we mustn’t beat ourselves up either. Our response is to increase our faith in what He did for us – that’s the renewing our mind bit.  Blame is the enemy’s sharpest tool of discouragement and distraction. The only Person we can ever safely invest in is Jesus – everybody else suffers from harassment, trouble and strife just like we do.

Here’s a verse that doesn’t always suit our version of theology … Romans 5:3-5: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, Who has been given to us.” Almighty God does not see our hard times the way we see them. I can become very concerned when Christianity is driven along by our desperate need to be positive. We sometimes try so hard to make gold out of straw! The only Person Who can do that is the Lord … and it is our joy to watch Him do it. 

Every single Christian needs the Lord’s help to manage what comes at them. You and I are not exceptions. When we cannot cope, we need to remember for ourselves, and also remind others that we are human. Let’s remember where our help comes from  – “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”  Psalm 121:1, 2. Find a hill and look UP! I’ve found that doing something He asks me to do for someone else, cheers me up when my spirit is flagging. Meanwhile, we need to allow the Holy Spirit the freedom to do what He loves to do – redeem situations. 

Our favourite tiler came and finished tiling our main bedroom floor yesterday, which means we might be moving back into a bigger, more comfortable bedroom soon. We are a bit squashed in a single room. But at the same time, we were able to share the gospel with our tiler friend and his beautiful wife, and they responded so well. They are a Muslim couple, and the very sweet young wife read parts of the bible out loud, to practice her English! I still get misty eyed thinking about it. 

My point is, we all suffer. Sometimes with niggly, messy irritations, disturbing interruptions, or even some sort of unspeakable agony, when life turns into a nightmare. So we pray and pray because we want it to stop; we can pray and ask for His help, and remember that we are living in enemy territory and bad stuff will happen. There is no need to punish or deride yourself for failure, or missteps, or a lack of faith … right when you most need it. This is real life and some days it can be hard to take. Bye 👋 

P 3257 It’s time to get the band back together.

/ DVH

Years and years ago, when I was a much younger Christian, I loved reading instructional Christian books, plus I listened to tapes, music, and videos, everything I could. I was trying to grow my faith. I desperately needed to belong, to feel like a part of the Body of Christ. You know, there’s a whole lotta of odd people out there who really really need Jesus – we all might want to think about that. Back to it … eventually, I realised I was reading the bible and understanding it through someone else’s filter!

The Holy Spirit truly is the very best Teacher, He explains things first-hand – personally! There’s nothing like getting your own revelation from His book. Back then, whenever I read 1 Corinthians 13, I read it through other people’s interpretations to help me understand it. My thoughts were ‘boy do I fail at that!’ No wonder I felt a failure, at that time I had no idea how complete the Lord’s redemption was on my behalf. Like Paul said in Galatians 3:3 MSG bible: 

“Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God’s Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!”

I believed my sins were bigger than what Jesus did. So when I messed up … and I did, a lot … I was shattered. Yeah, I know, that makes no sense at all. The Lord has a whole new kingdom reality for all of us. Sadly, at that time, I just had too much luggage that I dragged along behind me! To top it all off I erroneously believed this kind of stuff was true Christianity, and I was just really really bad at it. 

You see, people in my family or the church still irritated me, and when they were unkind, I wanted to run away, or thump them. Eventually, I became ill. So getting healed became my new focus. I figured I had become sick because I was failing the Lord all the time. I just want to strongly insert the fact that Jesus is not like that! 

But at that time, I jumped into every single healing line I could find, simply because I badly wanted to be well! Instead I just got sicker, and that added a further burden. It seemed to me that I must be a terrible Christian because I was ill in a generation that thought if you were sick it was your own fault! For years I wandered around thinking God had given up on me. And getting divorced did not help that perception. 

I know there are verses that clearly talk about divorce, and yes, I accept them! God definitely says don’t do it! However, He’s also merciful – He explains WHY. Participating in a divorce makes our hearts hard. Even though I repented up one hill and down the other, I had hardened my heart against any sort of redemption by Him. Unbelief is still sin! Works will do that to you. They will cut you off from true redemption and also real gratitude. It’s hard to be grateful when living for Jesus is a whole lot of hard work, and you can’t do it.

I guess I saw Almighty God as SomeOne Who held a grudge, like most people I had met. And I thought I deserved to be rejected. In that process I lost the One Person Who dearly, eternally loved me. At that time, I had no comprehension of unconditional love. If you happen to feel like that, I would like to testify to you that the Lord Jesus is not keeping a score of our sins against us. He can’t, His blood wiped them out!! At the same time, I hadn’t properly personally digested 2 Corinthians 5:19: “…that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favour with God].”

It’s pretty hard to go out and tell others about the reconciliation that exists in Christ, when we aren’t living in it! Eventually, through the patience of a dear old minster, I came to see that the Lord Jesus is the One Who knelt beside a woman who was taken in adultery. and He also dealt with the people who wanted to stone her. Once He sat by a well and talked with a woman who had had five husbands … He didn’t give either of these women permission to live like that! However, the Lord altered the course of  both of their lives just by being Himself! The love and power of God is like that – it sets people free. 

I believe the church world-wide needs to go after the Lord’s lost sheep. The bible clearly tells us the Shepherd always does! Those broken, beaten sheep who have wandered away – or maybe they were even shoved out because the church didn’t want to be contaminated by their sin. Let’s ask the Lord to help us to win back our brothers and sisters – mothers, fathers, friends, rabbits and relations. The Body cannot function without ALL its parts. We need to be like Paul and participate in their reconciliation and restoration. So let’s love them OUT of their isolation. Maybe they are ready to repent and come back! 2 Corinthians 2:5-11.

How about we stop shooting the wounded, or leaving our broken-hearted members behind? And ask the Lord if we can be used by Him to restore them instead. Let’s get the band back together. Who knows what God will  do when we embrace others who have gotten lost along the way? Bye. 👋

P 2686 The way we see others …

/ DVH

makes all the difference!! 

For years I had quite strong expectations regarding the people who are close to me – people like family, friends and relatives …I hoped they would be nice to me because I had a broken-heart because of a difficult early life. That’s what you call an unwise expectation!  I was very immature and quite dependant on other people’s approval. My time recently has been spent growing UP!

I think I kind of expected other people to be nice to me because I was abused as a child. And those people who hurt me, were still in my life. Some of their personal faults and proclivities meant they actually formed my world-view in the first place!  But I’ve learnt over time, that unless Jesus is in charge we all remain the same, and sometimes … we can get worse! Putting the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket is a very dumb idea.

This was kind of like a giant chip on my shoulder, but I didn’t know it was there, I thought how I felt was normal because of my greatly disrupted early life. I saw myself as broken and it was someone else’s fault, not mine, so I couldn’t help it. Meanwhile I totally ignored the fact that as an adult I now had the power to change! Everyone else seemed so normal, and it often looked to me like I was the odd man out. I did not make allowances for the fact that others are as broken, if not more so, than I am. We are all broken in different ways.

When we choose to view life through pain, sorrow and suffering, it can result in a distorted view. I was a very disappointed, broken-hearted, and sometimes angry child – now walking about in an adult body, with a warped view of others. Sadly that meant at that time I was making a choice to go round and round in a little whirlpool, instead of advancing up the river, under the Lord’s loving Eye. Meanwhile, if these people happened to hurt me again, then that was often the final straw. That action meant that they would never change, they would never be nice to me! And despair joined the party.

I wish I could say that Christianity totally healed me from any of those thoughts and ideas, but it didn’t. It sort of kind of fed them, by telling me over and over that I was fine, God loved me, but I was definitely broken, it was not my fault and I desperately needed healing! I was one of those people who were never going to triumph in adversity purely because of my back ground. That meant that I chased healing up one hill and down the other, using pretty messed up faith. Unfortunately what I believed at that time actually cemented me into the very place I wanted to escape from!

That’s when the Lord began to deal with me. He was gentle and kind, but firm and unrelenting. He made it clear that I could no longer go forward excusing my behaviour whilst I was holding other people to account for theirs!  I love these words from the bible  “…but God …” because HE is always the real reason we keep moving on. He is so patient, and many times I’ve clung tightly to the words in Matthew 12:20, that say this about Jesus:“He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally He will cause justice to be victorious.”

I started to understand just how broken everyone else is. We all need healing, and the people I was interacting with didn’t know Him at all. That meant if I wanted to see real change then someone was going to have to co-operate with Him! He gave me this strategy: “What if you choose to see those people as human beings – not as someone who owes you something?” That meant viewing them as lost, broken, damaged human beings, just like me..

You know in all those years in the wilderness wandering around desperately looking for someone who could heal my broken heart, it never occurred to me that I had the power for change already …but I wasn’t using it. I could choose to forget the past and simply love the people I was avoiding or I disliked. He gave all of us that power at Calvary. He chose, and now I can too. So I did. I chose to believe Him and not how I felt. I let go of any expectations that the other people would EVER change and grabbed hold of His hand – because HE will never change. Now He’s teaching me to love the unlovely, the people who persecuted me, and those who were supposed to love me but they didn’t or couldn’t.

When I made that choice, it opened my eyes. I already knew lots of scriptures about forgiveness. The reality was I read them, and I prayed and I meant it. However, I got disappointed over and over again because forgiveness didn’t seem to help me with how I felt – and the other person did not change. It was then that  I saw that my forgiveness was conditional, it relied upon the other person changing.

Praise God my feelings eventually caught up with His reality. The way we see others, makes all the difference.  God  is gently teaching me His Way to love, how to look and see others the Way He sees them. If I don’t expect things from others then I won’t be disappointed if they lack the ability to love. I have to see everyone through His eyes and leave my expectations with Him. This life is about learning to love, even those people who don’t love us. When we live that way – we are truly free.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11.👋

P 2390 Spiritual hitchhiking.

/ DVH

“I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with My eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with Me!”” Psalms 32:8 TPT

Now this has totally got to be the safest ride on the planet! Fancy hitching a ride with the One Who always knows where He is going! How do you do that? Well, speaking for myself, I run toward the Lord calling out His Name. He’s so close to us. Like I said …He loves us dearly! It is way too easy to think that peace etc. will come when we are dead. Faith lives in His peace NOW.

If you are broken-hearted …. that means He’s even closer. (Psalm 34:18) The broken-hearted simply have to turn their eyes to Him. If that’s you, then right now, please just take a few minutes to sit where you are, and remind yourself  … HE’S CLOSE to ME. Pause. Breathe – in and out, in and out. Sometimes, when life has knocked us flat, it takes a little while to let go and remember that He doesn’t ever change. Be kind to yourself. The Psalms tell us that ‘He makes the clouds His chariot and rides on the Wings of the Wind.’ (Psalm 104:3) The stuff that happens to us doesn’t surprise Him.

In difficult times we need to quiet our hearts and rely upon what He has said in the book – because He tells the truth. (Numbers 23:19) We don’t have to live our lives on hyper-alert. After all, no matter what is going on, all around us, we don’t have to rely upon our own eyes, our own eyes can deceive us because fear clouds our judgment.  But now we are relying upon His eyes. The Good News is this: He hardly EVER sees stuff the way we do! Which is why many of the things that happen to us don’t make sense. It’s because His plans are higher than ours. We don’t look at this life the same way He does. It is also the reason why we can sometimes pray ‘please make this go away’ …. and nothing happens. (Proverbs 16:4)

In those moments I tell myself ‘He’s got a bigger plan. Always remember, our God does not cause these things, but He isn’t fazed by them either, He will guide us through them, comforting us all the way. The secret is to go with the flow of the Holy Spirit. You will recognise His work very easily – He’s so kind. He does the most amazing things and no-one gets hurt. Things might get challenged… but His gentleness opens doors, it simply does not bash them in.  

This is why we need to learn the art of stilling our souls … so we can listen and follow Him through things.. What does that mean? It means my mind, goes at about 900 revs a minute darting here and there, and I must sit and let Him be God… because, no matter how clever I am … I am not! In these moments I choose deliberately not to be distracted by whatever is going on around me. This is how we renew our God-given (… Jesus paid for that )… strength. That happens when we wait for Him and take a ride with Him into peace.

In our pain, it is very easy and it almost seems normal to pray that God will take whatever it is that is hurting us or confusing us away …  but He has a plan for our hope and our future and sometimes that includes us going through the fire, (Isaiah 42:3). This is where we learn to hold on tight to Him, relying upon Him, believing that we cannot be burned or drowned. Our times are always in His hands. (Psalm 31:15) And nothing can ever snatch us away from Jesus. (John 10:21).  He simply has a bigger plan than we can see right now.

You know, the Lord Jesus even went after the people who had died before He came to earth, these people died believing God was going to send them a Messiah. Be assured, He will not and cannot ever forget you! 1 Peter 4:6. He simply can’t! Those wicked nails carved you and I into the palms of His hands. Every time He looks at His hands He remembers us. That’s why it’s good to go to the cross daily, and remember Him.

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit ride on the Wings of the Wind. I just love that picture. Forget Theme park rides! Sometimes we must put everything down, just breathe, and take a ride with the Trinity into peace and safety. Human beings are frail —  we are not God! This means we do not have to succeed at everything. Let Him be God and you be you, and enjoy being cared for. He loves doing it.

Jesus has asked each one of us to choose Him and His way, in every situation and circumstance, and that seems fair to me … because He chose us first.. When Jesus was tired, when He was hungry, when He was persecuted, and abandoned, by God and men – He chose us. The fruit of the Spirit comes from abiding, not striving. Hitch a ride with the Lord, and let Him do what He does best… be GOD. 🙌