Betrayal

P 3150 Living by faith.

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Like I said, yesterday, this means that we will put down our desire to hone in our focus on a problem, and choose to look at Jesus instead. He perfectly mirrors the things we are looking for in ourselves, and others. Let me put that this way – if all you are focussing on is what the other person did wrong, then you can’t focus on the One Who IS perfect in all of His Ways. Unless you are cross-eyed!

A single focus is needed and the bible calls that being single-minded. “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24. When difficulties occur, our part is to realise that although we are weak in many areas – Jesus isn’t! So we choose to ask the Holy Spirit to help us to focus on the Lord, because He is good at it!

Practically speaking, if we just yelled at someone else, then it is a no-brainer that we need to repent and repair things – even when we feel provoked. Extending forgiveness is the quickest way to go back to focussing on Him. It will lead us back into single-mindedness. We can’t look at two vastly different things at once. Our choices matter, and most of the time we make them almost without thinking. But when we review what Jesus said, that means our focus switches from what went wrong, to what He did. We choose to look just one way – at Him. Forgiveness is much easier to access in His Presence.

When you are annoyed or angry with someone else, take a breath, and say “Jesus please help me” I’ve read the bible for years but I have never once read about Jesus saying: “That person is wa-ay beyond redemption. It’s OK, you can’t help being mad at them.” We both know that He simply won’t do that. Why not? Because He bought redemption for everyone when He died! He knows it is a done deal. It cost Him His life-blood and His time on earth to do it! 

Unfortunately, we can easily become used to making room for our scratchy, nasty, irritated attitudes. This means our focus can be sidetracked. But if we choose what the scripture says, we will look at Who Jesus is and what He has given us, and those facts change everything! In the face of such incredible generosity, anger has no place to stand. Loving generosity takes the ground out from under our enemies – not to mention our stinky attitudes.

Because we are still in process, perhaps there are times when we don’t want to look at the Lord, because we think we want to punish that other person. After all they upset us, so they deserve to be in trouble. That whole POV is deceit. It’s like locking yourself up, throwing away the key and saying: “That’ll fix them!” Free means free – even for the guy you don’t like! In moments like that, I’m not sure we understand the whole concept of freedom clearly enough. We need to practice.

When we hold onto anger, resentment, and bitterness, we are locking ourselves away from the Answer. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1. A bad attitude is extremely costly – not to mention heavy! You don’t have to sell your house and give the money away to live by faith.  We just need to live our lives like Jesus would.

This reminds me of an old cartoon, with the Road Runner and the Wile E. Coyote. That dumb Coyote was never ever going to win. It wasn’t in the script! His job was to end up blown to bits, flattened under a rock, or smashed by a train etc. The Road Runner was always going to beat him. Defeat is inevitable when we play in satan’s backyard. It is not in God’s heavenly script for us to punish the people who despitefully use us. Read the book! Living by faith is not some big deal ‘raising the dead’ occasion – it consists of the daily choice to obey the Lord, forgive others, and live like He did. One hurt at a time.

Every time we give away undeserved Grace to someone, we are releasing God’s Grace into their lives. That Grace is powerful. It saved us!! But when we hold onto someone else’s sin, we are keeping them from the kind of Grace that can deliver them from the very attitudes that caused the problem in the first place! Many people are easily imprisoned by how they feel. Hanging onto things like a list of all the wrongs that other person did – and keeping it in our heads, together with the accompanying emotions is a deep pit with no way out. 

When that stuff hits your heart – boy are you in trouble.That’s when a tree of bitterness can take root and grow. Let’s kill that tree, and stop going over what they did repeatedly – even if they just did it again ten seconds ago. Don’t throw anyone’s past sins into their face in an argument, and don’t talk about what happened to you, with other people to soothe yourself. Their opinion actually doesn’t matter. Building a case against someone else is dumb. Sin belongs under the blood of Jesus.

Lastly, talk to the Lord. He understands betrayal, heartache, disappointment, anger, and provocation etc. The Holy Spirit will help us negotiate our way through the crumbling cliffs of excuses, the explosive reactions, the endless litany of disappointment and the utter despair we face when we feel betrayed. Living by faith is only hard for us because we have not cultivated it. Bye.👋

P 3033 Love’s Way.

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God’s Love manifests itself in a different way to our love. Human beings often hand out love to others like it is a prize for pleasing us. Or we think it needs to be bestowed upon people we really really like. That is not God’s Way. God’s Love exists far, far above our human behaviour, that is why our love will not do!  His love seeks to bring out the best in us. It does not hold grudges, or remember the past, it does not self-protect. Think about it. Jesus hung on that cross for all the world to see, yet He was totally innocent of any crime. They had to make something up to even capture Him. At the same time, He chose to suffer injustice to provide us with Mercy.. 

Every single thing that was said about Him by His enemies was not true. He IS God and what He said was not blasphemy. Our lack of understanding of what God would look like, and what He would do – caused people to misjudge the Lord. And yet He still stood there, accused and silent. He suffered through a terrible, unwarranted death, and He went through all of it unprotected by His Father, or thousands of angels, or even the men that followed HIm. He allowed Himself to be murdered and made a mockery of, for humanity’s sake. 

Peter actually tried to protect the Lord by chopping off someone’s ear, and the Lord immediately spoke to him about it. Jesus’ response amazes me, because even when He was under so much threat and pressure —He still responded with LOVE. He repaired that man’s ear, and taught Peter a lesson, right in the middle of the worst time of His life. He was suffering from terrible betrayal, by those He loved best. Jesus virtually said to Peter: “That is not the way I want you to live! You will die if you live like that!” Meanwhile God does not need our protection. A useful thing to remember. 

Love is far more powerful than revenge or hatred or even self-defence. To me, this makes learning to love the way God loves incredibly important. Otherwise my motivation can become pretty suspect because it comes from an ungodly self-centred motivation. I can convince myself that I am doing something or other for you, and at the same time, I can ignore the way I am doing it and how it hurts you. The point is —I can’t trust my own judgement! I need a Helper to help me to transform my thinking to be like His. Even though I am actively renewing my mind, my judgment can still be impaired by the way my thoughts and feelings have framed everything else that has happened to me. I need an outside reference – Jesus Himself is that reference.

Here’s a tiny bit of ?useful? info. It is not always true — however I have observed many times in my life that people do not do bad things TO you … they do those things FOR themselves. In other words it ain’t personal! Those hurtful things may not be aimed AT you … those people are protecting themselves, or ambitious for themselves etc. They could use you as an excuse for their own behaviour,  but that can mean that you have somehow threatened them. 

Let’s look at what happened to Jesus. The ruling religious people could not find fault with the Lord’s behaviour, but they were scared witless that what He taught and did, would take away their own little world, where they felt important … They were scared and jealous. They recognised that Jesus was SomeOne with more authority than they had, and He was able to do the kind of things that grabbed the attention of the people. Meanwhile fear only produces chaos and we can’t afford to give in to it. We must voluntarily choose to learn to be perfected in Love.

In difficult situations  when we can’t easily sort things out, look for the fruit produced by what has happened. Don’t look at what someone else said or has done – review your own behaviour. Look for the log in your own eye. What is, or what has been the result of the situation? Do people love each other more? Do they trust each other more? Instead of excusing your own behaviour, and accusing others — look for opportunities to give Grace room to show up! All sorts of nasty little minions hide under the heading of FEAR. The good news is His perfect Love throws fear out and He replaces it with Himself.

The cross released a flow of Grace and Love that is still flowing today, 2000+ years later. But we need to choose to jump into that river and let love win. We need to stop standing on the banks of all that living water, telling each other “isn’t that lovely, doesn’t that look pretty?” Christianity is a participatory lifestyle not just a collection of pretty, sometimes useful thoughts. It is a WAY to live — and that Way is called the WAY OF LOVE.  

The Lord Jesus showed all of us how to live that lifestyle. You never turn it off! And the Holy Spirit will walk with us and remind us of how love thinks and behaves. Every circumstance is an opportunity. As we move on through this life we cannot afford to have a thought in our heads that Jesus would not have had in His. That means, especially for me – I’m going back to school, even at my age, because I simply must learn how to live by LOVE’s Way. Bye. 👋.

P 3003 False expectations.

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I unintentionally, and without any prior warning, walked into a wall of nasty attitudes in someone else yesterday. They were angry with me for no other reason than they could not have their own way. This is someone I care about, and sadly I’ve had many bad experiences with them before, but I thought that kind of trouble between us was gone… It’s just goes to show we cannot afford to let our guard down –  we need each other. My own discernment was severely lacking! Hubby was far more discerning than I was – he emphasised caution.

So what do you do in those moments, when you feel utterly betrayed by someone you think you can trust? I start with the realisation that I can’t deal with anything else but my emotions in that moment, because they’re all over the place like jam on a baby’s face. After that I need to go straight into my will and reinforce my decision to live my life His way. This step is important, otherwise I can get tangled up in what I want, and leave what He wants behind me! 

The next thing that happens is I pray and choose to forgive myself — despite my awareness of many multiple feelings of ineptitude and lack of wisdom — I know that I need saving from my own reactions like everyone else does! So I deliberately put blame, guilt, recrimination and shame down — and at the same time I pray and ask for the Lord’s healing, help, forgiveness and guidance.

Then I deliberately forgive the other person as an act of my will. It is so much easier to forgive someone else when you’ve just dealt with the log in your own eye first. Just saying is all … At the bottom of our instant pain, are often even more memories of previous pain – and that definitely needs sorting out, but first things first.  Any sort of betrayal is painful, and Jesus Himself knows personally all about that.

Judas betrayed Him for 30 pieces of silver, and Peter ran away under pressure. When someone we care about suddenly reverts to previous behaviour, it can be easy to be taken by surprise and feel like we’ve been ambushed. But we can’t afford to sit there, we must choose to move past our feelings into a place where we can pray full of His Love for that other person. Jesus prayed for Peter, remember? He prayed for Peter’s faith to not fail. 

Loving people who are often erratic in their way of speaking and living, means we need to pray before we spend time with them. I actually remembered to pray this time, but because I thought things had changed for the better, I relaxed. I forgot that scripture in 1 Corinthians 16, verses 13&14. “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.” I was distracted and forgot to stay on my guard. I wanted something from this person, that they can’t give me, and I let my emotional need blind me to where they are actually coming from. Jesus Himself, does not meet their needs… yet. 

At the same time I forgot to ‘stand firm in the faith.’ The bible says:’My God shall supply ALL MY NEEDS according to His riches in glory.’ Philippians 4:19. Part of our surrender to Christ entails our willingness to lift our expectations off other people, and put them firmly with Him. That takes practice! It appears I missed out on a practice session this time, but I’ve put the Lord and my hubby on alert to remind me! Otherwise I could easily fall down the same hole again. Instead of “being courageous” under fire, I crumbled like a stale biscuit. So I repented of that too and asked the Holy Spirit to help me to go back into “doing everything in love.”  

Sometimes, in personal relationships our expectations of other people are so great, the other person will probably fail in meeting them.That’s life. We must realise that we cannot meet each other’s needs – our job is to point people to the One Who can do all things.  Sometimes when I think that Hollywood has totally messed with our brains and we see someone else and think they will totally understand me. In a pig’s eye! That’s narcissistic. I don’t care who it is, people aren’t here to serve our needs, we are here to serve Him..

We can easily be blinded by our own need for immediate love and gratification. I think this is why many marriages fail. The couples have false expectations. Only Jesus can meet all our needs. There is no point in expecting human beings to meet them, simply because we like instant answers. In case you haven’t noticed …Jesus doesn’t often DO things immediately! My advice is to remind yourself that God always has a better, bigger plan. Bless you! 👋

P 2896 Relinquishment.

/ DVH

Jesus is portrayed in the bible, as our Shepherd, He is called the Good Shepherd. At the same time, many of us have what we might call lost sheep in our families. I have them, and like you, I often weep over greatly-loved people who have chosen to leave our Saviour outside of their camp — because they don’t wish to hear what He wants to say to them, and they don’t want to live a life of laid-down love. It’s their choice, a choice that can break our hearts, but that choice is sometimes made because of great pain, deception, anger and disappointment.

It is tempting to think that if we just manage to give that person the right scripture from the bible, they will be set free. But God has put incredible value on the power of our own personal choice, this means He respects their choices, so it is clear we need to do that too. The answer to this pain, is relinquishment! Plus choosing to remind ourselves that He is faithful.“For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12. Yes, you and I will suffer but –”…love suffers long…”  And incredibly, He is always faithful – even when we are not!

No amount of human persuasion, or application, can do this work as beautifully as He can. He knows how to open up hearts, and we don’t. Jesus once called ordinary fishermen to follow Him, and He said He would make them fishers of men! I mean — hullo?! What the heck does that mean? But, those men got up and left everything they had ever known immediately and went on the road with Him! Some people’s lives were transformed just because He walked past them. These people we care deeply about need HIM, not us. Our job is to continue to show them love, however He tells us to do it..

When you read the gospels carefully, you will see that Jesus hardly ever repeats whatever He does. He had an individual answer for each individual. He knows the way into someone’s heart. I’ve seen His light break into a life many times – however, you and I don’t have the power to do that, unless He helps us. We are mortal, and we have the power of persuasion — EVE shows us how badly that can be used. It can seem like God is in no hurry to answer desperate prayers like these – take heart – He knows how to woo and win someone, with His unfailing love. 

I want to point out that Jesus was taken outside of the ‘camp’ — outside the walls of Jerusalem — to be crucified. So whatever shameful, dreaded location your friend or family member is living in, it will not bother Him. He’s seen it all. The most horrible actions and attitudes people are capable of – betrayal, murder, envy, fear, lust, cowardice, wickedness – all of it.  Even those people who hated Him, paraded past Him … right in front of Him as He was dying. Yet He was doing what He did for their despicable attitudes too. Our God is not afraid of sin. He.Took.Care.Of.It. He knows the depravity within human hearts, but – we can follow the scarlet thread of His redemption right throughout the bible from Genesis to the Gospels and beyond them.

I would like to go over the faithfulness of our God in these matters because time sometimes dims our hope. Jesus told us clearly In Luke 15, in three different ways – that He seeks the one lost sheep, one lost coin. And He waits patiently at the gate for His lost kid to come home. Those stories lead me to this conclusion: lost people are extremely important to Him! That’s why He sends us out to find them.

The Israelite nation was rescued by Him at least ten times. They tested His love, and His right to be their God, over and over again.They were rebellious, abusive, arrogant and stiff-necked, plus easily deceived, and yet they were still very precious to Him. We all know you can be furious with someone and still love them! However, His faithfulness knows no bounds, which is why we should never question or abuse it.

It can be extremely difficult to personally let go of a precious person and not preach at them. We can waste all our time and our tears and anguish over someone who is trapped by deception. BUT! — giving them to Jesus is the very best answer. Think about it. Anything and everything that was ever given to Him – He blessed it. He either multiplied things in an astonishing fashion, or He transformed them with the power of His always-present LOVE. He knows how to bring “…beauty out of ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…” because He is supernaturally faithful. “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;  Do not forsake the works of Your hands.” Psalm 138:8.

Our task is to choose to keep loving those who cruelly and despitefully use us, and that can be an extremely hard thing to live with, especially if they are someone close to us. Sadly, if that person is angry with God, then they will be angry at you for believing in Him. This is part of the fellowship of His sufferings.Don’t stop praying for those you love, and don’t stop believing that your faith is valuable. God gave His only one-of-a-kind Son to us. There is no sacrifice that is greater than that one – He understands how big a sacrifice this situation is to you.

Remember, the Lord is their Shepherd too. Keep on praying for them, and then give them back to Him. Talk to Him about your pain, and let Him heal you. Relinquishment is the best pathway. Bye 👋

P 2490 Do you pass the litmus test?

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‘“So I give you now a new commandment: Love each other just as much as I have loved you. For when you demonstrate the same love I have for you by loving one another, everyone will know that you’re My true followers.””John 13:34-35 TPT.

Okey dokey … let’s look at these two verses in some sort of context. Jesus has just deliberately washed His disciples feet to illustrate what ‘love one another’ means. He has an interesting interchange with Peter, who clearly doesn’t get what is going on… and He washed everyone’s feet, including Judas’ feet too. I think, in that moment, the Lord Jesus was loving those who despitefully used Him. That thought is important in this blog today, the next time you want to brain or maim somebody for hurting you – ask yourself … Could I kneel down in front of them and wash their feet? Believe me, that thought sorts stuff out on the spot. Remember, Jesus is always our example!! 

And just in case you think that this stuff doesn’t really apply to you … or me, the Lord actually says this in verses 15 and 16.:“I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the One who sent him.” And there’s that sorted! This attitude of humility and love applies to all of us. Never forget, forgiveness is our way of life now. Forgiveness is also the way we pass on Grace from His Kingdom to others … who don’t deserve it any more than we did!  Lacking love means we are stuck somewhere in unforgiveness.

Back to my own thoughts: And so Peter continues on his merry way of somehow saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Man! I identify with that guy! … And so he organises John … who is not quite so subtle about making sure WE all know that Jesus loves him best, in the book he wrote 🙄…  and then John asks the Lord about who it is.  I want to pause here and reflect on how very little we actually know about ourselves. All of these guys are just human, even though they were involved with miracles. They all have their faults. Remember the two disciples who wanted to be sure their position in heaven was fixed so they sent their Mum to ask the Lord about it? 

I often wonder if Peter is scared, at this point, that somehow the betrayer  IS actually him because he seems to make lots of unforced errors! Maybe that is why he prompts John to ask the Lord?  Sadly, eventually he betrays the Lord too. We never can tell what any of us will do under pressure until we are right in the middle of it. Isn’t Jesus wonderful? The Lord speaks to Peter about what he is going to do next and warns him about it. That warning has always fascinated me – was the Lord trying to warn Peter, and prepare him for his biggest mistake? I think that that warning was love in action.

Many of these 12 disciples are subject to public rebuke and learning during their time with Jesus. We should not be surprised when He corrects US too. James and John learnt about rampant ambition from the Lord Himself and Peter shows us all that mistakes aren’t fatal, but cultivated disloyalty to Jesus is a trap that leads to despair. Maybe because we stop thinking about what we are doing to others, and focus on ourselves. Jesus takes our disloyalty to others as if we are disloyal to HIM, because we are His family now.

Judas cultivated his own disloyalty in an ongoing fashion. He kept right on pinching money, and money appears to be the source of his downfall. Eventually the Lord forgives Peter for his personal betrayal of Himself. However, Judas sinned against the group, and he knew exactly what he was doing when he put Jesus into the enemy’s hands. He’d totally missed all the lessons of love that Jesus carefully taught them, day after day for three and a half years.

Truly loving others is the best diagnostic tool I know of – and most of us miss it. Just because we think we can’t love this person or that one, that does not excuse us from participation. It’s a commandment. It’s not a suggestion, or a great idea – Jesus Christ commanded us to love one another. And when we read what the disciples wrote eventually in all of the Epistles … we can see that they are now saying the same thing  too … LOVE MATTERS. Not ‘tolerated’  ‘like,’ or ‘admire’ – but love. When we don’t love others we become preoccupied with ourselves – my feelings, my hurt, what YOU did to me. We lack obedience and humility. That’s a dangerous place to live. To be like Jesus, we must live this life the Way He did – we cannot be our own reference point.

Christianity is for the devoted. People who truly believe that Jesus Christ IS the Son of Almighty God and He came here and died for their sins too. These people actively believe and practice the fact that the new birth transformed their lives, before, during and after it happened. So much so, that they don’t live for themselves anymore. They choose to die to what they know, and feel. Other people will betray us, and … maybe we will also betray them. So when Jesus tells us to love one another, these people fall on their faces and confess their utter lack of love, and ask for the Holy Spirit’s help. And when difficult people turn up in their lives they know that God is giving them someone to practice on!

Loving one another is the best litmus test we have. In my own life it shows me I’m not “done” yet! I just might live to be 150 years old at this rate. However along the way, I’ve definitely learnt not to hold grudges and to forgive others when they sin against me. However, there are still some people I simply cannot love without lots of prayer and His help!! So feel free to pray for me and … I will pray for you, too. Bye 👋🏻

P 2359 Psalm 3.

/ DVH

King David’s song when he was forced to flee from Absalom, his own son: “Lord, I have so many enemies, so many who are against me. Listen to how they whisper their slander against me, saying: “Look! He’s hopeless! Even God can’t save him from this!”  Pause in His Presence. But in the depths of my heart I truly know that You, Yahweh, have become my Shield; You take me and surround me with Yourself. Your glory covers me continually. You lift high my head. I have cried out to You, Yahweh, from Your holy presence You send me a Father’s help. Pause in His presence

So now I’ll lie down and sleep like a baby—then I’ll awake in safety, for You surround me with Your glory. Even though ten thousand dark powers prowl around me. I won’t be afraid. Rise up and help me, Yahweh! Come and save me, God! For You will slap them in the face, breaking the power of their words to harm me. FOR THE LORD ALONE IS MY SAVIOUR. What a feast of favour and bliss He gives His people! Pause in His presence.”

Some times the people we love dearly, the ones who are our family, can do the most damage. It doesn’t even have to be what they say – neglect and abandonment can devastate us. The first point I want to make today is that this kind of scenario is not a walk in the park. We can’t just click our heels and the bad bits will go away. These things severely test us and often challenge our belief systems.They test our resolve to follow Him no matter what happens. 

Some things are a choice, but when it comes to family, those things are the places where we find we are most vulnerable. Family is about history. They knew you when. You knew them from birth…. That kind of history tears at our hearts like very little else, and betrayal from those who are meant to protect and care for us brings deep wounds. My advice is this;  start this process with healing, not rebuking or blaming your self. Ask the Lord Himself to be your Father and help you with the places that are bleeding inside from all that betrayal you feel. 

Don’t make excuses for them, and don’t make excuses for you either. It is what it is. David’s son was trying to kill him to take the throne. It wasn’t a whoopsie, or an error of judgment, it was a deliberate act of betrayal for Absalom’s gain. If you read the story, (2 Samuel 13-37 -15-12), Absalom went about whispering in other people’s ears, trying to turn the people’s loyalty away from David. That is not a mistake, it is deliberate SIN. In Absalom’s case it was jealousy and pride. He was beautiful and popular and he knew it and then pride took over.

Sometimes our family member/s are not simply making a mistake, they have joined their allegiances with destruction. They may call it correction, or caring for you, but because you are maintaining some degree of freedom or other they do not have, they will try to stop you anyway they can. Jesus Himself said this about families in Matthew 10:36 –“Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over Me, you don’t deserve Me. If you prefer son or daughter over Me, you don’t deserve Me.”

Look, if Jesus Himself talked about it, then difficulties like this aren’t totally unexpected. My only advice is grieve for your loss and ask the Lord to heal your heart with His Grace and Love, and then, immediately go on to choosing forgiveness. Some family members will turn around, and others will see your forgiving heart as something that can be used against you. Then you will need grace, grace and more grace. Don’t leave home without it, because Grace can do the impossible. 

Don’t just content yourself with forgiving out of some kind of familial loyalty – ask and keep on asking for His Grace to truly forgive. INSIST. Meanwhile difficulties like this can take time to heal, so keep on believing God is helping you – and don’t quit. Take your focus off the family member/s that are persecuting you, and deliberately give those people as an act of your will, to Jesus. And then keep on doing that each time they come up in your mind – eventually Jesus in you will win.

At the same time it is good to go on into blessing these folks until you find you really mean it. It’s all a process and an extremely hard one at that. Your job is to watch over your heart and leave the work to the Holy Spirit. Let’s give thanks that we have a Parent Who never stops loving us, and He is totally devoted to the restoration of families. 👋🏻