Bad habit

P 3309 Anxiety.

/ DVH

Charles F Stanley wrote the following. I hope it is helpful: “Anxiety is a problem we all will deal with at one time or another. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”(Matt. 6:25-26)

The Greek word for “anxious” in this passage means “distracted.” It’s a word that refers to uncertainty. That’s what anxiety produces in us. It gives us a feeling of, what’s next? It’s a feeling that the rug has been pulled out from underneath us and we have no idea if we’re going to fall, how hard, in what direction, or onto what.

The word “anxious” is also translated as “worry” in the Bible. For many people, worry has become a way of life. If that describes you, I encourage you to read again the words of Jesus. His words are not a suggestion—they’re a command. You may say,“I can’t help feeling anxious, I’ve always been a worrier.”I’ve heard that from many people through the years. My response is, “Yes you can.”

There’s nothing about a circumstance that automatically creates anxiety. Anxiety occurs because of the way we respond to a problem or troubling situation.Your ability to choose is part of God’s gift of free will to every human being. You can choose how you feel. You can choose what you think about, and you can choose how you will respond to a circumstance. It certainly isn’t God’s purpose for you to feel anxious—He doesn’t allow situations in your life so you’ll have anxiety. 

The Father may allow a situation in your life to develop stronger faith, grow and mature, or change a bad habit or negative attitude. But God doesn’t set you up for anxiety. He’s always at work to bring you to a place where you’ll trust Him more, obey Him more fully, and receive more of His blessings.

You can fall into a downward spiral of anxiety, or you can say: “Father, I bring this to You. It’s beyond my control. I feel helpless in this situation, but You have the power to change what I’m facing. You love me perfectly, and I’m trusting You to handle what concerns me in the way You see fit. I know whatever You’ve planned for me is for my good. I look forward to seeing the way You choose to express Your love, wisdom, and power.” Amen. Friend, this is the way of peace—the road out of anxiety and worry.” 

Back to my little bit for today! I think this is the stuff that haunts most people. I put these thoughts by Charles F Stanley on my blog today because so many people are under siege from the things he talks about. His writing is clear and concise and he said it a whole lot better than I can! My motivation is this:  whatever it takes to help someone else get free is useful!  

This mini-sermon was particularly helpful to me, because we are preparing to put far too many things inside our car and even more stuff on top of it!— And still fit us, in it! Plus we will end up talking to a whole bunch of strangers. All this happens as we are travelling over 3,600 kms in the middle of a petrol shortage with prices through the roof. Some generous people have already helped us out financially with the extra burden of the cost of petrol. But my point is this: hubby and I are not exempt from anxiety either, it’s an ongoing battle for all of us.

I do have one helpful hint that works for me. If anxiety and worry start to build and I end up mentally knitting, I phone a friend or text someone. I don’t always tell them the problem, I simply ask them to pray. God knows what I am concerned about. I can fall into worse trouble when I talk about the difficult stuff, it actually kind of magnifies the problem in my mind. I might end up looking for sympathy instead of explaining that I simply need to hold fast. I have to pick my battles. Sometimes there are some things I can’t solve, but I can pray.

I’ve learnt that as I relinquish my anxiety about the things that bother me, I am far more open to His passions than my own. It’s not hard to love a God who values human beings so much, that He died for them. I think anxiety is a bit like a snowball rolling down a steep hill, it gathers momentum as it rolls on, and on. You can’t stand in front of it, it will squash you flat! The important bit is to know where and when that snowball begins in your life, so you can stop it at the top and jump all over it to disperse the thoughts.

The bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 …  “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  Anxiety is our enemy’s lies on steroids.  We can pay attention to the incessant ugly noise or give our attention to the One who lives inside us. Yes, it is a battle, many, many times – but Mr Stanley offers great advice, I intend to take it. Bye 👋.

P 3010 Who benefits? Us or His kingdom?

/ DVH

“We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 TPT. 

If we take what Paul has said to the Corinthian church seriously, we can see that the Christian life is not meant to be a walk in the park, whistling as we go! There’s a lot of demolition and active transformation that needs to happen in an ongoing, everyday fashion. I believe the New Testament shows us how we can change, what we need to change, and why we should change! The ‘when’ is easy — NOW! If you ignore some behaviour and hope it will go away, you are deceiving yourself. Whatever we hold onto holds us back!

Paul faced a lot of criticism along the way, even from the people he ministered to. Some times people who are very sure of what God has said to them, can appear to be arrogant. It is easy to mistake arrogance and enthusiasm for the anointing of God. Arrogance is when I talk to straighten you out because I already know. It puts me up and brings you down. Encouraging you as we journey together, means I stretch out my hand to you, whenever I might be a help. However, the speaker must always remember: 

“A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver. [Prov. 15:23; Isa. 50:4.] Like an earring or nose ring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to an ear that listens and obeys. Like the cold of snow [brought from the mountains] in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to those who send him; for he refreshes the life of his masters.” 

Our God-given place is to continue to live in, and acknowledge our ever-present need for more of His Grace. And we cannot carry that out well if we choose to hide from the very people God sent to help us! Even if they are painful! Honesty with ourselves and others is paramount. I am not talking about being negative, I mean that we are all on the same journey, and none of us have arrived, so pretending we are doing well when we know we are not, is called deception. 

Most people are afraid of correction. They are afraid to admit they can’t perform well, and then they can quickly get caught up in self-effort. It’s a never-ending pattern — trying hard to meet the mark, and failing. The reason I gave that particular method up is because I was a total wash-out at changing myself, I had too many flaws and not enough hours in the day! I have learnt to suspect that my feelings are not a good guideline to where I want to go. However, whatever the Lord says will stand forever — what I feel can be changed by double chocolate ice cream and a piece of cake! 

If someone comes from the place of “I know and you don’t” then they are not yet in a place of humility. That’s a flaw just like any other, often born out of insecurity. As Jesus’ beloved fiancee we need to live in the place of humble surrender, permanently, simply to facilitate the right attitude when we speak to others. I am not just talking about lip-service … we can all say we surrender. But the reality occurs where the rubber of my life hits the road of obstacles and hardship. Or when this life squeezes us so tightly it actually exposes the truth. Life has a very bad habit of doing that! We are afraid to be real because we have not comprehended exactly what Jesus Christ did for us.

More mature people can share with others those things they have learnt along the way, but we had better make sure we are putting what we say into practice ourselves. Even if it looks to us like we will become vulnerable, because we often get it wrong! Like my favourite verse says: ‘Not that I always achieve that aim, but I sure am pressing on!’’…  “ ‘I can’t help it’ doesn’t cover anything … only the blood of Jesus does that!’

“If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”  Our new life doesn’t rely upon us, it relies upon Jesus and what He did. Our aim is to support one another, as we walk forward …together. There are no losers or winners in the Christian life – only participants. 

Sadly, there are many people who think they can still have this AND that error, or bad habit in their lives, and it doesn’t make any difference to their level of commitment. People can be deceived into thinking they can make excuses for ungodly attitudes, and still follow Jesus. As soon as self-deception enters the ring, human beings will be KO-ed out, because we have become double-minded. The point is we cannot abuse the blood of Jesus, which is an incredibly precious thing, to excuse our unwillingness to learn and be transformed. And that’s a life-time goal not a one time event! 

Whatever we say at the altar, needs to be followed up with prayer and deliberate choices. This life we have chosen is not easy. It has many things in it that we think we value – things, or even people we think we cannot live without. Those things need to be given to the Lord along the way, in order to keep walking after Him. These things don’t always have to be bad either, but we don’t want ‘that will do,’ we want everything laid down for His sake. The secret, as I see it, to knowing the difference between what is Godly or not is this – who benefits – US or His kingdom? Bye. 👋

P 2639 The hardest thing for a parent to do …

/ DVH

…is to love their grown up child, and hate their kid’s sin. As we all know, little kids are a lot of work, nappies, feeding, tantrums, cuddles, sleeping  – all that stuff is hard physically and mentally. It’s a demanding time. But – the hardest days are ahead — teaching your older kids to obey a God they cannot see is much harder. Unless they are prepared to read His book. 

Every bad habit you ever had or saw in yourself, can start to come out back at you, in their behaviour. As the maturing child grows you might end up judging your own investment in their lives, and feel like you fell short. Years of teaching, talking, redirecting, unselfishness and sacrifice are often forgotten. So when that older kid flops its big toe across the line and stares you right in the eye … while they are living without the Lord, and they refuse to change … that stuff is utterly devastating.

Some kids are so adept at getting what they want, they know exactly what buttons to press. In those moments we need to be careful. We can’t afford to come into agreement with a way of life that is out of agreement with God’s ways. Yet you can be so tempted to agree because you love your kid!

I know a little bit about this subject. Our kids are all now fully-mature functioning adults with grown-up kids of their own. But one of my adult children doesn’t walk with Jesus and they live somewhere else. Let me be very clear – I still miss that kid in my life. The pain from the semi-estrangement can be so hard I choose to refuse to think about it. Because I know that I can get caught up in the details of my own failure, and end up in blame and guilt. I second-guess my much earlier decisions and blame myself for the adult child’s wrong decisions.

Praise Jesus, I’ve learnt to hand this kind of situation over to Him and say: “I failed! Your turn!” The hardest thing for a parent to do is to keep on praying … but walk away. As a parent, you can throw His love over their fence – figuratively – as the Lord leads you, but don’t be tempted to try to change them. Let them come to you. And when and if they repent, do wait to see the fruit of their repentance. Refuse to be blackmailed by sad sack faces, and pleas of ‘it will be different this time, I promise.’  We cannot afford to let torment and guilt drag us around by the heart, we need to be led by HIS LOVE – which never ceases, but has boundaries.

The verse from yesterday really spoke to me: “…they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:32. I have dear friends whose adult kids are living in terrible life-styles, far away from the Lord. Of course they love their kids and hate to disapprove of them, however these grown up kids are light years away from that little child we can still see! Unfortunately, when your kids don’t follow the Lord, blame can follow you around like a rottweiler! It’s ready to grab and bite your ankles and drag you under. The devil is not satisfied with just tormenting you, hurting your kid and hurting you through your kid, he wants to destroy your faith as well.

An adult kid still knows how to get at you – manipulation is often its middle name! It can wind you around its little finger. Sadly, it doesn’t care about right and wrong, it will try every which way to drag your approval out of you. Even when it is clear to everyone else that the way that kid is living is not helping them! Christian parents can get sucked into the vortex of throwing love, lifelines and even money at wayward adult children in the hope that somehow that will convince them that the parent loves them and so does God. The raw truth is – when we do that, we are approving of, and feeding the very behaviour that needs change. 

The thing to do is to make your position, lovingly and clearly, and maybe say stuff like this: “ I am not rejecting you – you are bigger than this sinful lifestyle. I love you, I always will, I will always feed you if you are hungry. But what you are doing, the way you are living, is wrong, and I will not invest my approval, finances, and energy to help you go the WRONG WAY. I will not help you to go to hell!” Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. And sadly our society approves of everything! There is enormous pressure on parents. However, God loves them more than you do. Step out of His way. 

Only you know the maturity of your child. For some kids this relinquishment of responsibility might have to happen earlier rather than later. Don’t EVER stop loving them, but don’t dive in with them and let them run the show when they are clearly living sinful lives. Hold fast to your faith that God hears and He will deliver them. May the Lord give you grace to stand up against the devil’s onslaught. Amen. 🥲