Yeah, I know, everyone’s least favourite subject. The only Person who is well-qualified to talk about life after death is the Lord … as well as people like Jairus’ daughter, and Lazarus! And the very worst point about dying and death, is we won’t know what it is like until we get there. Fortunately this concept is all over the bible and we can study it, so the Holy Spirit can help us.

The bible is not silent about death. It simply says: “we must not grieve like someone with no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) But our lack of experience with God’s goodness can often carry us into head knowledge, not grief and sorrow resolution. If that is you, then please don’t be condemned. Tell the Lord you need His help. Some kinds of grief are like liquid mud – if we fall in it is hard to get out! Everybody dies, however it seems most human beings don’t cope with the finality of death. Sometimes, someone dies and our unresolved grief gets muddled up with other terrible losses. Daily keeping short accounts with others makes a great deal of sense because it is inevitable that those left behind will need closure.

The hard part of losing someone important to you, isn’t simply just because of their absence – it is that the possibility of change dies with them. Your relationship with that other person suddenly becomes stuck in time.  And now we must somehow go on to build a new life without them, and move on from the pain, regrets, failures and losses of the past. This is why we need to repent as we go along, wherever necessary. And, at the same time, we also need remember to give our pain back to the Lord. Jesus bore it on the cross and He carried it. (More on that later.) Eventually, all of us do our best to move on. Yet every time we remember, sadness rushes in.

I think grief is a vastly misunderstood normal response and emotion. It manifests itself differently through different people. Some people get mad, some people are sad – some people get mad and sad, and some just walk on, furiously suppressing how they feel. I like what a psalmist said:“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”Psalm 30:5. This tells me something about grief. It can seem like it will drag on forever, but it is meant to be a progressive moving thing – not a parking station we can’t get out of. 

Also grief is not just about shedding a tear, it is about a dark place our hearts sometimes go into, when any hope for any kind of further future has gone. Now this world seems to be a place where true reconciliation is suddenly out of our reach. We start to regret things that we’ve said;  what we didn’t say – and the things we should have said. Like I said, repentance helps. In those days we need to remember Jesus is our hope, He is our anchor. Park your little boat (life) and throw out the anchor – He will hold you through the storm.  Meanwhile, I’m all for appreciating people while they are still breathing! 

Our society is quite intolerant of the effects of grief upon individuals. We do not seem to have the freedom to allow a mourner to pass through this kind of tough season. The BIBLE says in Ecclesiastes 3:1ff- (bits of it): “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; … …A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; …  …A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;” I love this scripture. It explains there is definitely a time for all kinds of things to happen to us in this life — BUT IT DOESN’T SAY, HOW LONG that time should be. 🤔

Now let’s look at what Jesus Christ has already done for us in this area. Remember, the bible says these things are a living established fact! “Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.”  Isaiah 53:4. Jesus Himself said:‘Come unto Me all you who are labouring and are heavy laden.’ In exchange for griefs and sorrows, we can have HIS REST. That doesn’t mean we leave grief and sorrow behind us, it means He carries it FOR us.  It is an exchange. We will all suffer from some sort of grief, but it does not have to weigh us down, because Jesus has already carried it for us. I’m a literalist when it comes to the bible, I use it like a prescription. I believe that we can pray and exchange our grief and our sorrow for His REST.

Personally, I think as long as the bereaved person is moving forward in their grief, we should butt out and simply support them in ways that are meaningful to them. Grief suppressed can be dangerous – so let’s biblically learn to deal with the reality, and the pain, instead of using avoidance. Somebody – I can’t remember who said it – once said: “Grief is love with no place to go.” I think that sums this situation up beautifully. Remember our griefs can be given to the Saviour, Who knows all about it and took it with Him to the cross.   🥲👋