Agreement

P 2639 The hardest thing for a parent to do …

/ DVH

…is to love their grown up child, and hate their kid’s sin. As we all know, little kids are a lot of work, nappies, feeding, tantrums, cuddles, sleeping  – all that stuff is hard physically and mentally. It’s a demanding time. But – the hardest days are ahead — teaching your older kids to obey a God they cannot see is much harder. Unless they are prepared to read His book. 

Every bad habit you ever had or saw in yourself, can start to come out back at you, in their behaviour. As the maturing child grows you might end up judging your own investment in their lives, and feel like you fell short. Years of teaching, talking, redirecting, unselfishness and sacrifice are often forgotten. So when that older kid flops its big toe across the line and stares you right in the eye … while they are living without the Lord, and they refuse to change … that stuff is utterly devastating.

Some kids are so adept at getting what they want, they know exactly what buttons to press. In those moments we need to be careful. We can’t afford to come into agreement with a way of life that is out of agreement with God’s ways. Yet you can be so tempted to agree because you love your kid!

I know a little bit about this subject. Our kids are all now fully-mature functioning adults with grown-up kids of their own. But one of my adult children doesn’t walk with Jesus and they live somewhere else. Let me be very clear – I still miss that kid in my life. The pain from the semi-estrangement can be so hard I choose to refuse to think about it. Because I know that I can get caught up in the details of my own failure, and end up in blame and guilt. I second-guess my much earlier decisions and blame myself for the adult child’s wrong decisions.

Praise Jesus, I’ve learnt to hand this kind of situation over to Him and say: “I failed! Your turn!” The hardest thing for a parent to do is to keep on praying … but walk away. As a parent, you can throw His love over their fence – figuratively – as the Lord leads you, but don’t be tempted to try to change them. Let them come to you. And when and if they repent, do wait to see the fruit of their repentance. Refuse to be blackmailed by sad sack faces, and pleas of ‘it will be different this time, I promise.’  We cannot afford to let torment and guilt drag us around by the heart, we need to be led by HIS LOVE – which never ceases, but has boundaries.

The verse from yesterday really spoke to me: “…they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:32. I have dear friends whose adult kids are living in terrible life-styles, far away from the Lord. Of course they love their kids and hate to disapprove of them, however these grown up kids are light years away from that little child we can still see! Unfortunately, when your kids don’t follow the Lord, blame can follow you around like a rottweiler! It’s ready to grab and bite your ankles and drag you under. The devil is not satisfied with just tormenting you, hurting your kid and hurting you through your kid, he wants to destroy your faith as well.

An adult kid still knows how to get at you – manipulation is often its middle name! It can wind you around its little finger. Sadly, it doesn’t care about right and wrong, it will try every which way to drag your approval out of you. Even when it is clear to everyone else that the way that kid is living is not helping them! Christian parents can get sucked into the vortex of throwing love, lifelines and even money at wayward adult children in the hope that somehow that will convince them that the parent loves them and so does God. The raw truth is – when we do that, we are approving of, and feeding the very behaviour that needs change. 

The thing to do is to make your position, lovingly and clearly, and maybe say stuff like this: “ I am not rejecting you – you are bigger than this sinful lifestyle. I love you, I always will, I will always feed you if you are hungry. But what you are doing, the way you are living, is wrong, and I will not invest my approval, finances, and energy to help you go the WRONG WAY. I will not help you to go to hell!” Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. And sadly our society approves of everything! There is enormous pressure on parents. However, God loves them more than you do. Step out of His way. 

Only you know the maturity of your child. For some kids this relinquishment of responsibility might have to happen earlier rather than later. Don’t EVER stop loving them, but don’t dive in with them and let them run the show when they are clearly living sinful lives. Hold fast to your faith that God hears and He will deliver them. May the Lord give you grace to stand up against the devil’s onslaught. Amen. 🥲

P 2590 United we stand … divided we fall.

/ DVH

Here is today’s verse, John 17:23 NIV.“I in them and You in Me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me.”This is the Passion Translation: “You live fully in Me and now I live fully in them so that they will experience perfect unity, and the world will be convinced that you have sent Me, for they will see that You love each one of them with the same passionate love that You have for Me.”

First of all, whenever we are reading the bible we need to do our best not to get tangled up in the complexity of the words or thoughts. If that happens, it becomes way too easy to shut the book and think ‘I don’t get it’ and walk away. Here’s my recommendation, instead – stop. Pray. Tell the Holy Spirit you don’t get it, and ask Him to explain it to you. WAIT.

This is why it is not always the best thing to fit God in around everything else we have to do each day. If reading the bible is an add-on, then we are more likely to give up on a complex thought that may give us insight into Who He is. Especially if we are mentally half-way out the door, or getting ready to hop on the bus! If you have to take your bible into the loo to get peace and quiet … then do it. Reading this book is like an adventure, it is well worth the effort to wait for insight. Otherwise you will miss all the excitement of discovery and joy, especially if you treat simply the bible like a chore that must be done.

OK, back to my real point today… The body of Christ is looking for unity the wrong way. Please let me explain… we think unity is about coming into agreement about theology, activities, styles of worship, bible translations, doctrine, dogma, philosophy. So we search and search and kind of try to bend our heads and ideas about stuff around, so we can obey Christ and learn how to agree. But that’s not what Jesus actually said… Feel free to read it again. Be-ca-use God lives fully in Jesus, and now Jesus lives fully in us …  we can use LOVE as our glue … 

Why is that so? Because the Lord Jesus has way more sense than we do. He will not fight with Himself!! The Jesus in me is the same Jesus that lives in you!! It’s the life of Christ IN us that will sort out our differences! As we walk in a life of love, we will recognise each other no matter what church we go to! Ya, might just want to stew on that one for a while …🍲

Jesus loves unity. The psalmists say unity is like oil! Oil flows everywhere, it is not fussy. So, if you and I stop fighting about principles and words … and I sort of kind of, peer at you, and pray, then I can see HIM! In your eyes, in your smile, in the way you treat me, your whole demeanour.  I can also see Him in the way you do this and that… or the way you regard this or that … in other words I need to stop looking to see if our theology matches, and start looking for Christ Himself!

We cannot go outside of ourselves into rules and regulations to come into unity. We need to start unity with – I love Jesus and so do you – that means we are coming from the same place, and everything else is advertising! He lives inside both of us and we know that Christ is not divided. Here’s Paul explaining his version of that – 1 Corinthians 1:13&17 “Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptised in the name of Paul? … … For Christ did not send me to baptise, but to preach the gospel—not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.”

We have become so adept at maintaining our own little insight, or theological POV, we’ve missed the actual big picture. We are all here to preach the Gospel to the world, and tell them that Christ loves them, and saved mankind from their sins and themselves! As long as we keep pushing our own ideologies or holding fast to our own denominational POV we will always be inefficient! Agreement is powerful. If you were satan wouldn’t you keep pointing out what’s wrong with those other guys over there, plus reminding everyone why we can’t be friends??  Our desire to be right is holding us away from our calling of UNITY.  Just imagine what we could do to-ge-th-er?? 🤔

Two true stories – I was once buying apples in the produce section of the supermarket. Another lady was over the other side, carefully selecting her apples too. We looked up at each other and smiled. Then something amazing happened. The Jesus in HER recognised the Jesus in ME.  We had a lovely time having fellowship together in the supermarket, and hugged one another as we parted. I never saw her again. But I know I will!!!!!

A dear little old man used to come to my house monthly, talking about his church and their beliefs. His church was very different than mine. Theologically we had big differences. But the Jesus in me saw the Jesus in him, and loved this man instantly. This dear old man used to kneel down on his tired old knees on my hard tiled floor, and pray for me and my family before he left.

I think it is time to take down the barricades and start look for Christ in others who believe. ‘It is Christ IN us that is everyone’s hope of glory…’ United we stand … let’s not get pushed over by highlighting our differences. What will unify us is His love in us.👋

P 2506 What is God’s love language? God’s love language is obedience.

/ DVH

“Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”1 John 3:18.“Whoever has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me.”John 14:21. BTW, let’s not get stuck on ‘but I can’t do that – I get it wrong all the time.’ Yeah me too. Jesus gave us something to aim at – the results come with practice … plus denying yourself and taking up your particular cross and following HIM.

There has been a lot of talk in the past about our own individual love languages … this one means this and that one means that. Yay! They are all very useful when we are trying to relate to one another. However, when it comes to Almighty God, He has ONE love language. Obedience. Funnily enough, if you practise obeying Him, you may not need to know your own love language – you’ll be too busy getting DEAD.

Anyway, this stuff isn’t all that hard to remember is it? Actually, it’s dead 🤪 easy — the problem seems to be about applying it … not understanding or remembering it! Let’s look at what Jesus did while He walked amongst us – after all, He is our Role-model. Oh! And my plan is to jump all over the current theory that Jesus obeyed so that we don’t have to. Rhubarb.

“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:5-11.

You see, first of all, that’s a whole lotta words, and unless we take the time to pull those words apart, and even check on some of their meanings, we can easily read, blah blah blah blah! nice thought …And we conclude — isn’t Jesus ace!? Of course He is!! Thank you Lord for doing that for us. Big sigh. All done now for today, nice thought that one… praise God!! I got that part. And so we move on to the rest of our day, doing what we’ve always done   … 😳

EXCEPT! It actually says at the beginning of that passage … “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus …“ In Philippians we are being exhorted to think about others the same way Christ thought about us. So we’d better pay attention because there are some pretty big obedience issues in there. Remember, our premise today is … what is God’s love language (?) and … I decided it’s obedience. But He said it first.

There are times when we read those words that we have not comprehended that when the Lord walked those dusty roads, and sometimes slept beside one, or ate nothing for dinner, or sat on the side of a hill for hours teaching people etc. etc. … He was obeying God. When He let men do those awful things to Him before He died… He was obeying God! Yeah, I know, that kind of jumps all over a lot of our current theology eh? He did all that to show us how to live – so we’d better pay attention. Because any minute now a TEST is going to show up!

Once, long ago, 120 people waited in an upper room because … Jesus Christ told them to do it. And that obedience changed their lives. We can so easily concentrate on the external vi-si-ble things: like fire falling on their heads, speaking in tongues, preaching a fantastic sermon about salvation. But what happened at Pentecost started with obedience. You wouldn’t want to be some guy that asked to be excused the day before all that happened, would you? You know that guy, the one that got married and bought a cow and had to get back home to take care of them and he couldn’t go to a wedding? Yeah him. Disobedience comes with big risks… just saying is all …

Now, let’s go back to looking at Jesus – because He is the best place to look! “For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.” Romans 5:19.“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” Romans 6:16.

Because we are pursing righteousness – and getting DEAD to self in the process … then that stuff is going to require our active obedience, not just our agreement. We could all agree that the sun is purple but that won’t change the reality and could bring on the men in the white coats to help us out!! Our agreement isn’t worth a load of old washing if it is not backed up by truth. FYI, truth is in the book – not the latest Christian doctrine, fad or fashion!

“Whoever says “I know Him” but does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in Him …” 1 John 2:4. Yeah, I wish He hadn’t said that too. But He did! Not liking what the Holy Spirit wrote down doesn’t change a thing. Let’s go back to James and that mirror we would rather forget about. “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.“James 1:23,24. This dumb schmuck has forgotten what a mirror is for!!  

Here’s another one to chew on as I leave for today: “And to love Him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbour as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” Mark 12:33. Our Heavenly Father sees our deliberate, dying-to-self obedience as LOVE. Now there’s great motivation – when we obey Him we are showing Him our love.  Just FYI, SomeBody else did that first, remember? Bye. 👋

P 2459 Run after something worth running after …

/ DVH

“Until then, there are three things that remain: faith, hope, and love—yet love surpasses them all. So above all else, let love be the beautiful prize for which you run.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 TPT.

Paul suggests in the scripture above that if you want to run after something then run toward something worthwhile — like love. In other versions of the bible, this verse says …PURSUE love. I like that. Chase after love because it is worth chasing after. We will always need to chase after love however, because with some people, it seems like it is always too far away, plus we are not perfect yet! That’s great BTW, that means we are ‘poor in spirit’ and the poor in spirit inherit the kingdom – at those times we need the kingdom!  Sadly some human relationships are often full of surprises, nasty ones. We are going to need the Holy Spirit to be our full-time coach.

Before we start, here’s a great thought to help us focus and praise God – GOD’S LOVE IS ALWAYS RUNNING TOWARD US! Back to the verse, it says if we are going to run, we need to run after knowing, and living in HIS kind of love. Forget human affection – that disappears quickly in conflict. How do you aim at His love? First of all, remember Love is a VERB not a noun. It is not just an attitude, it is an action. It is see-able! It does something good.

Now let’s look at a metaphoric illustration. You are running alongside somebody you know, and everything is going well, … Then they — we both know it’s always them, it’s never me — say or do some dumb thing, and you’ve lost your stride.  And bit by bit, the rhythm we had together is suddenly broken. Now they are nowhere near me at all and we don’t agree about anything. I’ve lost my peace, patience, and eventually my temper… usually in that order!

What happened? Perhaps I stumbled over something they said or did, or maybe they didn’t say something I needed to hear. Or vice versa. Whatever! The rhythm we had together is now lost. However, the point of pursuing love is not about running …it is the fact that you were running together. There is POWER in ‘together!’ Sadly we can end up brokenhearted when we no longer have the same aim as the other person. However, I am not powerless.  I can always aim at love – with, or without them. The result is the same. I don’t need them to love me back, or even treat me kindly, because God’s love follows the Holy Spirit and His kind of love runs on GRACE not performance. 

Further, the bible says: ‘Love bears all things’, so, in those hard moments when we cannot bear what is going on — we will actually need His love helping us to do more than resolve conflict. People are always impacted by God’s Love. Human love is tainted by need, but God’s love is highlighted by the fact it is unconditional.

What to do? Apologise! Yeah, I know, I didn’t do anything. But apologising clears the air, and repentance lets in grace. And grace makes room for the other person to come to terms with their part in what happened. You see the point is not to instantly arrive at agreement, the real point is going straight back into running toward LOVING LIKE HE DOES. Whether the other person comes or not!

When we are pursuing this kind of love we cannot enter into a brawl about who was right and who was wrong, be-cau-se … we cannot get to love, by that route! That route will end up in a bigger argument. The way to pursue and arrive at running after love is to give up your idea of how things are meant to happen, and start running after the Holy Spirit. We need His help. We do this despite how unkind the other person has been toward us. 

BTW, loving someone with God’s love does not mean we utterly approve of everything they are doing. LOVE AND APPROVAL are two different things. God’s kind of love is supernatural. We always need His love flowing through us, and we access it by obeying what the Holy Spirit prompts us to say and do. Now we stay under the instruction of the Holy Spirit – we don’t give in to our own temper or hurt feelings.

At the same time, we are going to need our faith and hope to kick in to help us to keep on running. I ask the Holy Spirit for ALL those things, plus loads of Grace – because Grace saved the world!  Meanwhile, God’s love is accurately described in the bible and HIS Love always looks like this …”Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. So the reverse of these things is a good indicator that we are not walking in love … if we are impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, or proud etc.

Obviously aiming at love means we are going to die to self. But that is fantastic be-cau-se …”greater love hath no man than that he lay down his life for his friends.” If 1 Corinthians 13 is to be part of our daily lives then we must pursue love and obey the Holy Spirit. He will take care of our attitudes and actions. Plus we are also acknowledging our own poverty of spirit. Chasing after His Love means we are running after something worth pursuing. Bye. 🥰

P 2423 The outworking of faith is seeable.

/ DVH

Faith has evidence of its existence. Without any evidential faith we cannot please Almighty God! This means that there are appropriate actions that match the stuff coming out of our mouths. Christianity is not just a theory, or a set of really tough rules – it is a living, breathing, ongoing, active, growing, moving, productive thing. As we live our lives our faith stretches us. Daily.

Telling others we have faith, without being able to provide evidence in our own lives, is like telling people you are an astronaut because you’ve carefully studied the subject and you’ve been to NASA, plus you’ve studied it and know everything about it! 

Knowing and doing are two entirely different things. We can talk about, or discuss our faith until our faces are blue, but the truth is … real faith often makes no sense at all until it is acted on, and then the understanding comes afterward. Ask Gideon, or Mary, or Abraham, or Hosea! Our Heavenly Father does not operate like we do, instead we can be quite poor reflections of Who He is. We often misunderstand His directives as a substitute for a strong spiritual life. Rules are not faith – it took the Israelites only 40 days to break the ten commandments!  Agreement is not faith. The devil agrees there is a God!  

“And without faith living within us it would be impossible to please God. For we come to God in faith knowing that He is real and that He rewards the faith of those who passionately seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 TPT. Faith has to be alive. It is not about last week, last month, last year – or even about when I gave my life to Christ, way back when. Or whether I go to church every week. Faith is about God and me – to-geth-er! DOING STUFF outside of church.  

Here are some uncomfortable questions regarding that point. If I was suddenly struck dumb how would someone who was watching me know that I have faith? What evidence would they have? Many people go to church but they don’t have active faith. Maybe they have HOPE – and sadly, sometimes, they have fear and/or religion. Ask yourself: “What does my faith DO that can be seen by others?”“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the EVIDENCE of things not yet seen.” Hebrews 11:1. 

Faith steps out – that’s why it is called evidence. First of all notice the ‘NOW’ in the scripture pictured above. Faith is always now … not yesterday. This does not mean we must spend our lives standing on a street corner witnessing. But it does mean that our faith is always active in our lives changing us. If people cannot see an ongoing change in our behaviour toward others, or our personhood being transformed, we need to ask ourselves, do we have faith that is alive? One of the best ways to activate inactive faith is to talk about Jesus to someone-who-doesn’t-know-Him-yet.

Changing the habits and selfishness of a lifetime takes faith. This means we will end up wrangling with ourselves every single day because we are longing to be transformed. Even though we also use our faith in His ability to transform us to maintain what we believe – Christianity is actually not performance based. What would be the point? SomeBody Else did everything necessary to include us!! More questions: Is Jesus the first Person we go to when we can’t manage? Do we actively rely upon Him, and do things His way? Our faith is activated every time we ask Him to help us obey and then act.

Faith has substance. It is not the result of airy-fairy wishy-washy theories. The actions of faith result in transformation, for you, and me, as well as for the people around us. Maybe that grumpy family member keeps behaving badly because we keep having the same response! Faith will produce something seeable. James 2:26 tells us that “faith without works is dead.” Faith does stuff. It may also talk … but it definitely does stuff!! It feeds the hungry, preaches the gospel, witnesses to others, helps the homeless, and ministers to the broken. Faith lives this life dead to self and lives for Jesus’ sake now.

However, faith is not just about the things we don’t, or won’t do. If someone refuses to cheat on their spouse, or asks for help for a foul temper, or stops spending money like it grows on a tree, that takes faith. But faith doesn’t just abstain from evil — it is a productive thing. It is not about the absence of bad things – faith introduces the provable presence of the goodness of the living God.

When I went looking for a picture for today’s blog, I easily found the verse I wanted. This verse had all these pretty pictures with flowers and scenery. I rejected them! I chose the picture above, because the man in that picture is putting his faith into action. He knows all about gravity – but his desire to move on motivates him into action. Faith is prepared to take risks, because it has seen personal evidence that God is in charge and it stakes its life on that. 🤗

“But the love of God will be perfected within the one who obeys God’s Word. We can be sure that we’ve truly come to live in intimacy with God, not just by saying, “I am intimate with God,” but by walking in the footsteps of Jesus.”

1 John 2:5-6 TPT

P 2380 Gentleness has been greatly underrated.

/ DVH

Today, gentleness can be sometimes seen as weakness, or even a particularly feminine quality. But Jesus said: “What blessing comes to you when gentleness LIVES in you! For you will inherit the earth.” Matthew 5:5 TPT. Jesus Christ was Father God’s perfect expression of gentleness and mercy toward mankind.

Let’s look at the One Who gave us the best illustration ever of being gentle, and showing mercy under pressure, from the cross. “Then he (the thief on the cross next to Christ) said, “Jesus, remember me when You come into your kingdom.”Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with Me in paradise.” Luke 23-42-44. And there it is… mercy and gentleness without rancour, or a lecture. It just automatically flowed toward the one who needed it, despite the Giver’s pain. 

Here’s something I’ve learnt that I will pass on for free. We need to LET gentleness LIVE in us. That means we need to be aware of what it is like, and then use every single opportunity to use this particular form of Grace to cultivate it. Let’s consult the dictionary about gentleness:  kindness, tenderness, mercy, understanding, compassion, kind-heartedness, tender-heartedness, love, mildness, humility, peacefulness, serenity, reverence, and meekness.

Yeah. I put this list in today because many of these words are no longer common. We are not often likely to use them in every day language …However, I believe many of the responses we meet from other people are based in fear. People who do not know that they are God’s original creations, hold onto the images of who they think they are, very tightly. They can use anger, pride and spite to shove others away. I’ve watched gentleness in action, and it does not threaten or create fear – it lovingly and carefully opens new doors for His love to go in and then it waits. Gentleness is aware of the other person’s need to be authentic and to feel safe and unthreatened. 

The bible talks quite a bit about sowing and reaping, and I believe we need to learn to sow mercy, and gentleness into other people’s lives because there is so little of it around. We are to live that way because that’s the way Jesus was. He gave us mercy when we didn’t deserve it in the first place. He didn’t appear, all guns blazing like Rambo! But He came here in the most vulnerable disarming form ever – as a new born infant. When the Lord Jesus spoke to people His loving kindness went right around their objections and piqued their interest. This is what I have found the Holy Spirit is like in His Character. He is not rough with people. He doesn’t threaten them, He walks with human beings, gently suggesting other ways to interact and approach things. He doesn’t push or pull.

I often laugh when I see people and their dog going for a walk, because, even though the owner will say they are walking their dog, to all intents and purposes, their dog is walking them!  However, on the market there is another form of leash, it is called a gentle leader. It wraps around the dog’s muzzle instead of its throat or chest, and the dog, no matter what size it is, finds it impossible to pull with its nose. So it trots alongside the owner peacefully. Without trying to be blasphemous, AT ALL (!!), the Holy Spirit leads us like that. He doesn’t push and He doesn’t drag, He waits for us to walk together, in agreement.  

The thing is, with the kingdom of God, whatever is given to us will flourish and grow inside us … if we cherish it. His kingdom is not like this world — giving love, mercy, gentleness away to the undeserving, or a perfect stranger, actually helps those things grow inside us. In this world if you give something away, you’ve lost it – but in the kingdom of God, generous humility helps gentleness and mercy to flourish in our hearts. 

When we sow gentleness into the lives of the people who cross our path – the love of God is released to create a harvest. We do not have to be a fierce people – our war is already won. So this is how we deal with others …”Brothers, if anyone is caught in any sin, you who are spiritual [that is, you who are responsive to the guidance of the Spirit] are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness [not with a sense of superiority or self-righteousness], keeping a watchful eye on yourself, so that you are not tempted as well.” Galatians 6:1. 

Save your warrior face for fighting our common enemy! Not the people you meet. They may never ever deserve it, but we are releasing His Grace into their lives and that means that a little seed of gentleness or mercy is planted into a life to flourish in His timing. So Instead of a harsh word, we have a gentle one to turn away someone else’s anger. That’s what sowing gentleness and mercy looks like. It means that thoughts of revenge or punishment disappear from our thinking.

The people who give His Grace, His peace, His gentleness, His mercy away, are not just being nice, or polite, instead they have an inner barn on the inside of them that is filled to bursting with these things. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34. What’s IN there will come out under pressure. That pressure is simply life from day to day, but the other person’s need will create an opportunity.

Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit, it is neither soft or girlish – it opens doors that would remain tightly closed because it does not push … it respects the other person enough to lovingly watch and wait for an opportunity. 👋🏻

P 2357 Love is about choices – not feelings.

/ DVH

Hubby and I just celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary a couple of months back. I still think he is the nicest and best man I ever met. But SOME DAYS … that’s a choice not a feeling!  And I’m pretty sure he shares that sentiment with me. 😂 Not as often, of course – ‘cos I’m MUCH nicer than he is! Okay. That’s a joke. Haha!!

What I mean is this – some days we have to choose to love each other, because we don’t always understand the other person’s POV. I so-o don’t man-speak and he has no clue how to speak female, so we collide. Because we are both quite passionate people, there are times we collide loudly. No fun is had either side in that collision. People make times like that about individual issues – points of differences – you won’t get anywhere that way, trust me. The real ‘issue’ that needs to matter in those moments IS THIS: who is gunna repent and ask for forgiveness first? Sigh. It is usually him not me – he’s way better at saying ‘sorry’ than I am. It’s mega-annoying. 😡

I said all that to say this:  just because we disagree and feel horribly abused, misunderstood, and uncomfortable – that does not mean we quit the marriage or give up on the relationship. It simply means we have temporarily lost our common ground – and one, or both of us, has dug their heels in and refused to compromise or even listen to the other one. My particular fault in these matters is that I always have a point, plus I absolutely loathe not being listened to! 

People often say sagely: “Marriage is about compromise.” Phooey!! Marriage is about CHOICES. I choose to forgive because it’s in the bible! That’s true wisdom. At that moment when I am no longer feeling like my precious hubby is the nicest man in the world – I still have a life-mandate to fulfil. I promised to follow Jesus and He is offering me a new opportunity to choose to follow Him and die to self. These moments are the little foxes that spoil the vineyards of a husband and wife’s love for each other – we need to seize those moments for the Lord’s sake. The power of agreement opens doors that will not open any other way – we need to cherish and protect it.

If I choose to stop fighting the current issue and instead ask the Holy Spirit to help me keep my mouth shut, I will accomplish two things. The first is establishing His Lordship and the second is an opportunity for the Lord’s wisdom to prevail instead of chaos. I may have to insist about these two choices … and, to be fair, I quite often fall into the trap of seeking to be understood – instead of working to see the other person’s POV. However, even if what is happening makes no sense to me – it makes sense to the Lord – I know He can guide me through it.

It is extremely difficult, but not impossible, to lay aside your claim to be right – when you do it for the Lord, and not just for the other person. When you lay down your arms for His sake, whether you are right and they are wrong, THAT IS WHEN JESUS’ LORDSHIP PREVAILS! In that moment I have yielded my control back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit because I love Them more than winning or being right. Meanwhile, do not be fooled – those moments are hard. The other person may not have the same view of Lordship you have.

Here’s what I have observed – it only takes one person to turn things around … but that Person needs to be Him! Get a load of this scripture: “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates (works against) his [Christian] brother he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) At this point you could be thinking that you don’t ‘hate’ your spouse – yeah! But at this moment you are not in the middle of some dumb argument that you both feel it is imperative to win!! You can hate anyone given enough provocation trust me. Plus spouses often know each other so well they can lean all over each other’s buttons. In the middle of an argument neither of you are working together!

One of our biggest faults as Christians is that we try to wiggle around what He said in the book so we come up with a hundred reasons about why this particular verse does not apply to me. We all hate to be wrong and in those moments we forget about the One Who hung on that tree for our sake, so we would have the power to resist temptation. Please remember this line: It is not about winning a point or an argument, it is about losing the Holy Spirit’s Presence and YOUR PEACE. We have a choice. Selah. 😶 👋🏻

P 2261 Agreement is not participation.

/ DVH

“So this is why we abandon everything morally impure and all forms of wicked conduct. Instead, with a sensitive spirit we absorb God’s Word, which has been implanted within our nature, for the Word of Life has power to continually deliver us. Don’t just listen to the Word of Truth and not respond to it, for that is the essence of self-deception. So always let His Word become like poetry written and fulfilled by your life!” James 1:21-22 TPT.

Yes, James did just say we can totally deceive ourselves! Not responding to what we read, or even not co-operating with the Holy Spirit in our lives, is self-deception. Lots of people agree that Jesus was a man Who came to earth, lived and died here. Most of them do not do anything further about it! Agreement is not enough! God is looking for changed hearts – not just mental assent. Our hearts will not be changed without us giving Him permission PLUS acting on what He tells us. Those two things go hand in hand. We need to swallow our pride … and be careful we don’t choke … and start again, this time with humility.

Here’s a litmus test for you. Would your spouse, family, or friends, say you have visibly changed in your attitudes and actions since you started following Jesus? I’m not just talking about church attendance either. I mean other people can see that God is knocking off the rough nasty bits and polishing your life like a gemologist polishes a fine stone. The point of salvation is a changed life. Not just somebody who knows how to look good, or sound good or parrot off the right words. Instead, like Paul of Tarsus, we aren’t the same old frightful person we were before we met Him!

We can all play nice when we are in company- smile, nod, and suck up our feelings when they are hurt, because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves. But who are we when the front door closes and somebody at our house annoys us? Yeah! I know. Trust me to ask that one! 😳 Transformation is a sign God is at work within. You don’t lick apples – you bite into them … what will someone else taste when they accidentally, or not – bite into you? We can all end up deceiving ourselves into thinking “I’m doing OK, I did such and such the other day, that makes me a good Christian.”

Skipping over God-given opportunities is a very risky business. I tell myself, “one more time!”  Almighty God does not like it when we abuse His Grace. It is better to admit, to the Lord, yourself and especially to others – that you have failed. Asking the person who is annoyed at you or the one who has hurt you, to pray for you is humbling – but powerful. Like I said, agreement is not participation. Participation comes when we bite the bullet and say ‘no’ to what we think and submit ourselves to one another. And yeah, it sucks! Dying to self does. 

In the Western world we are so indulged by comfort and ease we actually think we still have options. Ask the African lady who has been raped multiple times how hard it is for her to forgive those that trespassed against her. Or the Ukrainian man who has lost his entire family to a missile. Our choices in the West are not hard – they are simply cutting across our self-indulged ways. I know that we can suffer hardships too, but these things, when we face up to them, make us stronger in the Lord and the power of His might… if we let them and act on them. We need to stop protecting the old-self …sometimes even with scriptures and supposedly Godly attitudes. We must stop believing what we say qualifies us. What Christ DID qualifies us. And He died to change us.

Saying I am a horse does not make me a horse. Even if I go and live in a stable and eat hay and neigh all day. I could even learn to run faster … well, maybe not that …!!  😂 Saying I’m right, or I’m a Christian, or refusing to acknowledge that I need to be corrected, does not make my opinion of myself true. We have whole churches full of people who love to sing songs and prophesy and wave their arms about. They smile at everyone and the minute they get into their car to go home they are shouting at each other.  

Plus they cheat on their income tax. Hilariously I can almost hear someone grumbling at me: “now, that’s enough, my income tax is my business lady!” A humble heart takes correction with Grace, even if it is wrong. If you don’t believe me, then believe this: “I gave My back to the smiter and My cheeks to those who plucked out the hair. I hid not My face from shame and spitting,..” (Isaiah 50:6 KJV)… or this … “When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten; but He trusted to Him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23 RSV) We are not aiming at a better, nicer ME – our aim is to be LIKE HIM. Agreement that what God says is true, is not participation. 👋🏻