Adulthood

P 3470 Entitlement can shoot us in the foot.

/ DVH

Denying ourselves can be really hard. Since birth we have had to negotiate our way between what’s OK to do, and what isn’t — and that pretty much depended on who you were talking to! Maybe your Grandparents thought you could do no wrong, while your parents experienced a totally different reality. But now, because we have chosen to follow Jesus, the responsibility for denying ourselves, falls on us – not on other people’s rules. We can choose to change our ways, or we can continue to take the same entitled, childish attitudes we had way back then … into adulthood.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me].” Matthew 16:24. 

You don’t see many people writing songs about that verse! When things don’t go our way, first of all our flesh gets antsy, we can get really grumpy, and before you know it, we are in the middle of a gigantic pity party. That thought pattern is a satanic plot to undermine the way we live our lives. And it happens simply because we feel entitled to better treatment from this life, and other people. When we give our lives to Jesus, that idea goes out of the window, forever, and we need to get used to it. We gave our lives away!

I want to dismiss the theory that this life owes us something. I had a pretty hard childhood, and bleating about it didn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference to the cosmos – it simply ignored me. And then it threw even more guff at me to make sure I knew who was boss …  and with my lightning fast mind, I eventually figured out that was definitely not going to be me! For some people this means a fully-fledged battle with this world at every opportunity, all of their lives. And for others? Well they just lay down because they know from experience that they are going to end up on the floor anyway — no matter what they do or say. Resignation is not our destination either. Paul found out he was ill-equipped to fight against God – the Lord knows where our “off” button is! 

The only true alternative is to allow the Holy Spirit to teach each one of us how to fight, who to fight, and how to engage in the everyday battle to lay down our lives for others. It involves a process nobody likes, especially initially. This means I ask the Holy Spirit for His help and I lay aside that snappy, snide reply.

Sadly the only thing that seems to impact many human beings to change anything is the thought that they might die if they don’t! The thing to remember is that change means Jesus is not just doing a ‘make-over’ … He’s ‘remodelling’ us from the inside out to look like He does, but then we become more like our true selves, designed in God’s image. What we lose is irrelevant in the presence of what we will gain. 

“Then Jesus went to work on His disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with Me has to let Me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow Me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, My way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?” Matthew 16:25. GNB. 

I am not even remotely trying to make this process sound easy, because that would be lying to you. You and I have spent a lot of years practicing living our lives, one way, and then the Lord interrupts our excuses, subterfuges, and manipulations with a clear directive like the one above. We can’t afford to ignore it. The truth is we no longer have a life – we gave it away. So we can know Jesus here and now, and live with Him forever!

“All Scripture is God-breathed [given by divine inspiration] and is profitable for instruction, for conviction [of sin], for correction [of error and restoration to obedience], for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honourably with personal integrity and moral courage]; …” 2 Timothy 3:16. 

Is there a plus side to this less-than-materially-motivated or unappealing deal? YES. “His truth makes us truly free …” in this life and the next. I have no idea why anyone wouldn’t want to co-operate with the One Who made you, He knows far more about what we can and can’t do, and He is generous and kind. When satan cried out for my blood, I knew I deserved what was coming to me, but Jesus gave him HIS BLOOD instead and He definitely didn’t! The more I read about the Lord and His plans, the more I emphasise that God’s processes can be difficult. It’s hard at the beginning to say no to yourself when you feel entitled to a better deal. However, what we walk away from is temporal – what we walk toward is eternal. You do the math.

The sense of entitlement we have had since we were born is in direct opposition to everything Jesus stood for – so when we choose to follow Him, we need to understand that this part of our journey ends in a grave. Entitlement is a fairy story we tell ourselves so we can cope with hardships. Ask Jesus to help you cope instead! The truth is, without Jesus Christ’s sacrifice we are all entitled to hell. Bye. 👋.

P3454 Remembering Helps!

/ DVH

“…and when He (Jesus) had given thanks, He broke it, and said, “This is My Body, which is broken for you. Do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way also He took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”” 1 Corinthians 11:24-25 ESV. 

People participate in this scripture in a number of ways – all of them are wonderful and worth doing. From blessing our food and drink daily, to taking communion together, and reminding ourselves that Jesus’ broken body and shed blood makes a way for us to be able to run to the Lord any time we need to, or want to do it! He is here to help us.

Remembering the Holy Spirit is a great daily aim. The thing that stood out to me, in 1 Corinthians were the words … “remember Me.” These verses are a prompt to help us to value our memories of good, moment by moment, during each and every day. I liked that thought. So much crowds in on us during our daily lives, lots of things that demand our attention, it means that Jesus sometimes becomes an after-thought — if He is even a thought at all … and I’m not condemning anyone! Let’s pull our focus off the situations around us, and back onto the One Who is here to help us – the One Jesus relied upon.

Many years go, I had 3 children under 5. Trust me, you are lucky to be able to think at all when you have babies or toddlers. It was over 50 years ago, and yet I still remember the endless  wailing and feeling powerless to help the child! Not to mention the futility of trying to quiet an infant when you have no clue what caused the problem in the first place. New mothers, take this from me, please — these days will pass away and you will look back at them with bitter sweet sadness… especially the part where they hadn’t learned to say “NO!” yet. Whenever you can, enjoy the little ones.

Parenting is not about perfection, it simply requires plenty of  participation. We can’t prevent the lumps and bumps of this life happening to our kids – it’s all prep for adulthood – yours and theirs! One day soon all the intense work that goes into raising an infant will go away, and you are left with raising a brand new human being, with its own will and preferences. Parenting is not as much fun as the magazines pretend it is, and, trust me, we all fail at it – despite our dedicated efforts. Remembering Him helps us keep our cool when we can’t cope with our inadequacies.

I am learning that reflecting on the things that the Lord helps us with — successful times from the past — can often help us get through the things happening right now. David did it in 1 Samuel 17:34-36  “But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God.” Please let us remember, David is talking about two really really bad things … a lion and a bear. This is not a kitten or a cuddly toy!

And he took the past, his own personal experiences with God, and used it to do two things. It gave him courage and confidence for now. And then he used it as a weapon so he could carry out the next thing. Remembering is a very valuable tool, when Jesus Himself asks us to do it. When we are hurting, sometimes we need to be our own cheer squad. Some people enjoy writing a journal, my hubby does it periodically, and it blesses him to go back over the things that the Lord has said, and done, in the past.

Jesus asked us to remember Him when we take communion, when we eat, when we sleep, when we wake up — even as we are going about our normal lives. His Presence goes before us, and comes behind us as we walk this walk of faith. “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8. 

Nothing happens to us that the Lord Himself doesn’t know about. “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago.  I will consider all Your works and meditate on all Your mighty deeds.” Psalm 77:11,12. It is so beneficial to our faith to remember the things He has done, especially when we feel oppressed,  ill, or even a bit depressed. You know, it is of no use to pretend that Christians don’t struggle with mental disease … that’s what it is …. mental DIS-ease. Something inside our thinking is not helping us, and we are no longer at ease. 

One of the best ways I know to help that, is to phone a friend, or if you pray in tongues do that. And if you are locked in then please don’t beat yourself up. Life may seem to be suffocating you and you do not need “ought to” and “must” sitting on your heart and mind as well. God loves us as we are. If we could perfect ourselves we would not need a Saviour! Maybe we have allowed some squirrelled up ideas about appearances and expectations to put even more pressure on our faith. These things deny our humanity. (2 Corinthians 1:8; Matthew 26:36-46.) 

I urge everyone to cultivate the remembrance of good in your life. Was someone kind? Thank them, and tuck that kindness in your heart, you might need it someday. Remembering helps us to keep on pressing on. Bye. 👋.

P 3282 Live dead!

/ DVH

“Since Christ, though innocent, suffered in His flesh for you, now you also must be a prepared soldier, having the same mind-set, for whoever has died in his body is done with sin. So live the rest of your earthly life no longer concerned with human desires but consumed with what brings pleasure to God.” 1 Peter 4:1-2.

It is good to ask ourselves questions about our own reactions. The thing I have learnt is that you can think you have utterly surrendered to the Lord, and you only want to live for His will — then suddenly something unexpected happens and things that you didn’t know were inside, pop up like daisies! My advice is this, don’t excuse your behaviour, pay prayerful attention to it. Making excuses gives us a back door out of personal growth. It stops us discovering the real issues. These issues are far more likely to be about us, than others. We can make other people’s lives a living hell by refusing to confront our own inner attitudes.

When life stays on a pretty even keel, we begin to understand the normal day by day pressures, and we learn to manage them, by yielding to the Lord, and watching Him do the miraculous on our behalf. But it becomes easy to dismiss some not-so-great attitudes we have as …”that’s just who I am. It’s normal for me.” Ignoring the fact that we have a new normal now, and it isn’t based on our individuality, it is whether we look like Jesus, inside and out.

What comes out under pressure? Love, or temper, and impatience, or a distinct lack of mercy etc. What happens if it is your kid suddenly being bullied at school? satan knows that we will lean on the Holy Spirit to manage stuff coming at us, but what if trouble hits your kids, or your parents, or your friends? Maybe your spouse has to take a pay-cut, or even lose their job. Who are we then? I learnt many years ago, the yardstick we use to measure things must be based on the Word, not on our feelings, or our personal coping skills. The place of equality for all is in Christ Jesus, it is not in our ability to make nice noises under pressure.

For a number of years, Christians clung to what we believed about a group of wonderful verses that tickled our ears and made us feel good about ourselves. Sadly, I believe that has led to a distinct lack of adulthood in the Body of Christ. Pastors are often so busy trying to wipe adult noses, and soothe adult bumps and scrapes, plus sort out their life issues, that they have very little time to do what the Lord wants them to do! The way to maturity is through selflessness.

Years ago, I was a latch-key kid I got into all kinds of mischief because there was no parental eye on me. I was reduced to what I could get away with, rather than what was required of me. Not a good place to be. I realised I could out-think the person in charge and go around the rules! That is not obedience, it is evasion, half-truths and deception. Who are we when nobody is looking over our shoulder? 

Our new life is a new way to live not just a theme. The other day I spoke a little bit about money. I think most people don’t like it very much when money comes into the picture — however, the truth is dead people don’t own their money anymore. When we give everything we have to the Lord, He takes it and that includes the things WE think WE own.

Let’s be clear. This life we are living flows directly against our old one. And we are more familiar with the old way of thinking than the new. Some dear people don’t last, because they give up too soon. The cares, worries and struggles of this world overtake them.The best news ever is that we are NEVER alone! The Holy Spirit is a brilliant strategist and leader, we simply follow His Ways by reading the bible and applying what we’ve read, with His help, into our own lives. Plus we obey His inward checks and prompts. 

Initially that can be scary. But this also is how we find out, for ourselves, that we don’t like apologising, or looking like a daft goose. Human beings don’t like making mistakes or even having them pointed out – the old life rises up within us. We are always going need the Holy Spirit’s help – we can’t do this alone. But He’s not a tap we can turn off or on. He’s a Person! Let’s learn to live in such a way, that we are not distancing ourselves from Him. 

As we let go of the reins and allow Him to guide us through the potholes and bumps, He becomes the driver in my life, and I get to sit in the car as a passenger. But some days I really do think I belong in the boot! Soldiers are trained to obey orders, and as we learn to be obedient and cherish the Lord’s will, we are dethroning the whole me, mine, myself and I, mindset. Most people don’t drift away from faith because they hate the Lord — instead they drift away on a sea of careless indifference, aimlessly floating along unaware they are being  influenced by the changing tides of this world around us.  

Living dead’ means we have chosen to exchange our old way of life for His Ways instead, our faith is in Jesus and it is progressive,  Bye. 👋

P 2994 Love = great grow food!

/ DVH

“I continue to pray for your love to grow and increase beyond measure, bringing you into the rich revelation of spiritual insight in all things. This will enable you to choose the most excellent way of all —becoming pure and without offense until the unveiling of Christ.”Philippians 1:9-10 TPT.

Choosing to love the unlovely, ushers in growth.However, this will not be a happy little ‘walk in the park’ — it will cost us to learn to love the people who have hurt us, ignored us, and despitefully used us. Especially those people who did it on purpose! That’s the dying to self bit. In the flesh I may want to tell the whole world about the mean things that person did to me. I also want to vindicate myself, as well as give myself valid reasons to live this life as an emotional cripple! That’s called a side benefit BTW.  If I blame ‘you,’ or ‘them,’ then I have no responsibility to change. I can point to other people and say it is their fault I am like this. My sins, errors and missteps become sad, a result of someone else’s unkindness, not my own choices.

Adulthood will not fall on us. Hopefully sooner rather than later, we must choose to grow up and face this life from a mature point of view. Maturity is not about voting, or being able to drink alcohol, or get married. True maturity is taking responsibility for my own actions and responses to whatever has happened to me. Otherwise I am still allowing the person who hurt me to control my life. My own personal choices can take me out of that place of weakness, and place me firmly into God’s place of strength. 

This is why Paul is praying for the Thessalonians to “grow and increase beyond measure.”  Greater offences need even greater measures of love. Instead of sloughing off my responses in my situation onto whoever hurt me … now I stand up, make a choice and let Him take control of my destiny. Because now my aim is no longer just to survive—now I want to learn how to thrive within His unconditional, eternal love.

Living in love, which is the way the Jesus Himself lived, expands my capacity to take more and more of His life, and His ways, IN. If I want to be an overcomer, I must first of all learn to overcome the unnecessary things that tie my life into this world with cords of distrust, anger, bitterness and hatred. Choosing not to excuse my behaviour goes a long way toward changing it. We all know 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 well, but here’s a very different reverse, self-centred view of what Paul said: … 

“Love is not patient because you need to love me! I’m broken, and you can’t expect me to fix my own broken places. My love doesn’t have to be kind because I need people to be kind to me, and my needs are more important than yours. My kind of love is jealous, because I can’t stand for you to get more of anything than I do. At the same time, I’m needier than you! My love totally needs to boast because it makes me feel important and I need to be important, because I have good things inside me that will amaze you, if you would only co-operate with me and treat me kindly. 

Why shouldn’t I talk about you? You don’t appreciate me! When I am seen and appreciated I will be a much better person. Of course I get angry with you, you are constantly showing up my bad side, and I hate you for it. I have lists and lists of things you have done to hurt me. I need to keep those lists! They are my protection against letting you get near me in case you hurt me again. I love it when someone else is mean to you the way you have been mean to me – maybe it will teach you a lesson! 

The truth is what I think and say it is. Because I’ve been hurt, now I have lots of insight into other people’s faults. Why should I protect someone else? I don’t trust other people, they are just out for themselves. My kind of love doesn’t dare hope, it is always scared disappointment is heading my way – again. And my kind of love is too tired to persevere with anything or anyone. Nobody does that for me, why should I do that for them?”

Let’s all pray that this person never ends up in charge of anything!! … Sh-a-ll we? Amen! You know what was really scary, I wrote the above perverted version of 1 Corinthians 13 … so easily. Yikes! None of us can afford to go down that road, we’ll fall into a ditch. Here’s a huge tip to help us on our way — stop waiting for other people to love you and start actively loving them.

Real Love, the God-kind of love, helps us choose His very best way through all kinds of situations. It gives us insight into our own faults and the things that will make us stumble and fall. We simply have to ask ourselves regularly, “Is this love?” And if it is not, then we repent, go back and fix it. That’s not hard to remember! God has a way for things to be done. As we live in His love and give it away to others, we will find we know what He wants us to do. And when we are challenged by love, remember, the result of that challenge is growth. Bye 👋