Adult

P 3282 Live dead!

/ DVH

“Since Christ, though innocent, suffered in His flesh for you, now you also must be a prepared soldier, having the same mind-set, for whoever has died in his body is done with sin. So live the rest of your earthly life no longer concerned with human desires but consumed with what brings pleasure to God.” 1 Peter 4:1-2.

It is good to ask ourselves questions about our own reactions. The thing I have learnt is that you can think you have utterly surrendered to the Lord, and you only want to live for His will — then suddenly something unexpected happens and things that you didn’t know were inside, pop up like daisies! My advice is this, don’t excuse your behaviour, pay prayerful attention to it. Making excuses gives us a back door out of personal growth. It stops us discovering the real issues. These issues are far more likely to be about us, than others. We can make other people’s lives a living hell by refusing to confront our own inner attitudes.

When life stays on a pretty even keel, we begin to understand the normal day by day pressures, and we learn to manage them, by yielding to the Lord, and watching Him do the miraculous on our behalf. But it becomes easy to dismiss some not-so-great attitudes we have as …”that’s just who I am. It’s normal for me.” Ignoring the fact that we have a new normal now, and it isn’t based on our individuality, it is whether we look like Jesus, inside and out.

What comes out under pressure? Love, or temper, and impatience, or a distinct lack of mercy etc. What happens if it is your kid suddenly being bullied at school? satan knows that we will lean on the Holy Spirit to manage stuff coming at us, but what if trouble hits your kids, or your parents, or your friends? Maybe your spouse has to take a pay-cut, or even lose their job. Who are we then? I learnt many years ago, the yardstick we use to measure things must be based on the Word, not on our feelings, or our personal coping skills. The place of equality for all is in Christ Jesus, it is not in our ability to make nice noises under pressure.

For a number of years, Christians clung to what we believed about a group of wonderful verses that tickled our ears and made us feel good about ourselves. Sadly, I believe that has led to a distinct lack of adulthood in the Body of Christ. Pastors are often so busy trying to wipe adult noses, and soothe adult bumps and scrapes, plus sort out their life issues, that they have very little time to do what the Lord wants them to do! The way to maturity is through selflessness.

Years ago, I was a latch-key kid I got into all kinds of mischief because there was no parental eye on me. I was reduced to what I could get away with, rather than what was required of me. Not a good place to be. I realised I could out-think the person in charge and go around the rules! That is not obedience, it is evasion, half-truths and deception. Who are we when nobody is looking over our shoulder? 

Our new life is a new way to live not just a theme. The other day I spoke a little bit about money. I think most people don’t like it very much when money comes into the picture — however, the truth is dead people don’t own their money anymore. When we give everything we have to the Lord, He takes it and that includes the things WE think WE own.

Let’s be clear. This life we are living flows directly against our old one. And we are more familiar with the old way of thinking than the new. Some dear people don’t last, because they give up too soon. The cares, worries and struggles of this world overtake them.The best news ever is that we are NEVER alone! The Holy Spirit is a brilliant strategist and leader, we simply follow His Ways by reading the bible and applying what we’ve read, with His help, into our own lives. Plus we obey His inward checks and prompts. 

Initially that can be scary. But this also is how we find out, for ourselves, that we don’t like apologising, or looking like a daft goose. Human beings don’t like making mistakes or even having them pointed out – the old life rises up within us. We are always going need the Holy Spirit’s help – we can’t do this alone. But He’s not a tap we can turn off or on. He’s a Person! Let’s learn to live in such a way, that we are not distancing ourselves from Him. 

As we let go of the reins and allow Him to guide us through the potholes and bumps, He becomes the driver in my life, and I get to sit in the car as a passenger. But some days I really do think I belong in the boot! Soldiers are trained to obey orders, and as we learn to be obedient and cherish the Lord’s will, we are dethroning the whole me, mine, myself and I, mindset. Most people don’t drift away from faith because they hate the Lord — instead they drift away on a sea of careless indifference, aimlessly floating along unaware they are being  influenced by the changing tides of this world around us.  

Living dead’ means we have chosen to exchange our old way of life for His Ways instead, our faith is in Jesus and it is progressive,  Bye. 👋

P 2686 The way we see others …

/ DVH

makes all the difference!! 

For years I had quite strong expectations regarding the people who are close to me – people like family, friends and relatives …I hoped they would be nice to me because I had a broken-heart because of a difficult early life. That’s what you call an unwise expectation!  I was very immature and quite dependant on other people’s approval. My time recently has been spent growing UP!

I think I kind of expected other people to be nice to me because I was abused as a child. And those people who hurt me, were still in my life. Some of their personal faults and proclivities meant they actually formed my world-view in the first place!  But I’ve learnt over time, that unless Jesus is in charge we all remain the same, and sometimes … we can get worse! Putting the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket is a very dumb idea.

This was kind of like a giant chip on my shoulder, but I didn’t know it was there, I thought how I felt was normal because of my greatly disrupted early life. I saw myself as broken and it was someone else’s fault, not mine, so I couldn’t help it. Meanwhile I totally ignored the fact that as an adult I now had the power to change! Everyone else seemed so normal, and it often looked to me like I was the odd man out. I did not make allowances for the fact that others are as broken, if not more so, than I am. We are all broken in different ways.

When we choose to view life through pain, sorrow and suffering, it can result in a distorted view. I was a very disappointed, broken-hearted, and sometimes angry child – now walking about in an adult body, with a warped view of others. Sadly that meant at that time I was making a choice to go round and round in a little whirlpool, instead of advancing up the river, under the Lord’s loving Eye. Meanwhile, if these people happened to hurt me again, then that was often the final straw. That action meant that they would never change, they would never be nice to me! And despair joined the party.

I wish I could say that Christianity totally healed me from any of those thoughts and ideas, but it didn’t. It sort of kind of fed them, by telling me over and over that I was fine, God loved me, but I was definitely broken, it was not my fault and I desperately needed healing! I was one of those people who were never going to triumph in adversity purely because of my back ground. That meant that I chased healing up one hill and down the other, using pretty messed up faith. Unfortunately what I believed at that time actually cemented me into the very place I wanted to escape from!

That’s when the Lord began to deal with me. He was gentle and kind, but firm and unrelenting. He made it clear that I could no longer go forward excusing my behaviour whilst I was holding other people to account for theirs!  I love these words from the bible  “…but God …” because HE is always the real reason we keep moving on. He is so patient, and many times I’ve clung tightly to the words in Matthew 12:20, that say this about Jesus:“He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally He will cause justice to be victorious.”

I started to understand just how broken everyone else is. We all need healing, and the people I was interacting with didn’t know Him at all. That meant if I wanted to see real change then someone was going to have to co-operate with Him! He gave me this strategy: “What if you choose to see those people as human beings – not as someone who owes you something?” That meant viewing them as lost, broken, damaged human beings, just like me..

You know in all those years in the wilderness wandering around desperately looking for someone who could heal my broken heart, it never occurred to me that I had the power for change already …but I wasn’t using it. I could choose to forget the past and simply love the people I was avoiding or I disliked. He gave all of us that power at Calvary. He chose, and now I can too. So I did. I chose to believe Him and not how I felt. I let go of any expectations that the other people would EVER change and grabbed hold of His hand – because HE will never change. Now He’s teaching me to love the unlovely, the people who persecuted me, and those who were supposed to love me but they didn’t or couldn’t.

When I made that choice, it opened my eyes. I already knew lots of scriptures about forgiveness. The reality was I read them, and I prayed and I meant it. However, I got disappointed over and over again because forgiveness didn’t seem to help me with how I felt – and the other person did not change. It was then that  I saw that my forgiveness was conditional, it relied upon the other person changing.

Praise God my feelings eventually caught up with His reality. The way we see others, makes all the difference.  God  is gently teaching me His Way to love, how to look and see others the Way He sees them. If I don’t expect things from others then I won’t be disappointed if they lack the ability to love. I have to see everyone through His eyes and leave my expectations with Him. This life is about learning to love, even those people who don’t love us. When we live that way – we are truly free.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11.👋