Adapt

P 3083 Adaptability.

/ DVH

““Learn this well: Unless you dramatically change your way of thinking and become teachable like a little child, you will never be able to enter in.” Matthew 18:3 TPT.

Back when my kids were little, once a year I took the three of them, separately, off into the city to buy an individual ornament each for our Christmas tree. Those individual journeys included a visit to the Christmas theme park on Myer’s roof, a ride on something or other, plus a joyous inspection of the Myer windows. Then we wandered around the Christmas shop together choosing this year’s ornament. Finally they had a yummy treat, and a return long train ride home, with lots of time to talk. 

However, even though fun was on the agenda, I knew I was there to teach them how to be responsible caring people, whilst preserving as much of their childhood fun as I could. So somebody else, (me!), cleaned their clothes, and decided what they would eat, and I looked after them when they were sick etc. Unfortunately, once they started to grow up, things became more difficult. They didn’t like this and they wouldn’t eat that. Their ‘teachability’ and ‘adaptability’ levels dropped clear away as they grew older. 

I discovered today, when I spent time meditating on this verse from Matthew, that I personally have no idea how to be a child when I am with the Lord. After all children trust their parent to get things right! But that kind of freedom was absent from my own life, because I don’t think I actually knew very many carefree moments. I’m not complaining BTW, I simply lived with a distinct lack of the kind of freedom a happy child enjoys. So it continually clouded my view of the way the Lord sees me. 

And let us be clear —the Lord sees us as His children, as well as seeing us as His people. It dawned on me that I need my thinking transformed in this area as I have a limited human reference point to draw upon. I strongly suspect that I am not the only pickle in this barrel, many other people have had limited childhood experiences too! But is this what this verse is all about? Is it just the idea of being taken care of without even noticing? Or being able to play anywhere you want, whenever you want? I came to believe this verse is all about our inner attitude toward God Himself.

So I did further research and decided to look at children in other countries. And lo and behold, in the midst of war, starvation, and suffering, I saw that if a child can play, it will. We’ve all seen pictures of children playing in bomb sites, or in the dust and dirt of a refugee camp. I came to the conclusion that childlikeness is an inner attitude – it is not formed by our outward situations. It seems to me that Jesus is talking about the way we approach this life. Things like wanting to learn and being adaptable to change.

Those children in refugee camps etc. don’t want to be where they are, they would probably like a nice little safe house to live in, but their circumstances have taught them to ADAPT.And as I have aged, it seems I have become less adaptable. That attitude, plus life’s ongoing difficulties, trials and heartaches can actually keep me from the very place Father God wants me to live in! He wants me to remember that I can always be confident in Him, despite my inner or outward circumstances. 

Faith is defined in the dictionary like this:“complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” That’s when I took a good look at my own measure of faith and I decided that my somewhat oppressive childhood was no excuse. I can’t hide in what other people did to me, because now – today! – I have a choice. I can’t even hide in what some people continue to do to me …because my confidence is in GOD HIMSELF, not in my circumstances or other people’s actions. Whether I am damaged by this life, or ill because of my body’s weaknesses, I can still choose to live in complete confidence that God is with me, and for me, and He will finish the work He started in me.

That’s what childlikeness looks like. It is about trusting in  SomeOne Who is greater than I am – even when I don’t understand what is going on. Every single thing that happens to me does not always have to be assessed by my understanding because my understanding is broken! Unless I believe that God Himself means to do me good, when things look bad – I will start to lose my childlike attitude and trust. 

Wonder of wonders, my glorious Father has given me a book that gives me detailed descriptions of how He feels about me, (and many many other people) so I need to put my faith in His written word, more than I put it in whatever is going on around me. Children trust their parents to fix things – while they go on with what they are doing. In the end, I decided to pray to be more adaptable … how about you? 👋 

“Energise the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees. Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on His way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on His way! He’ll save you!” Isaiah 35:3-4.

P 3054 Opting out.

/ DVH

Do you ever want to go back to bed, and hide under the covers? I get like that occasionally too. When I was working, eons ago, back in the ark, there were no ‘doona days.’  You were sick or you were there! Mental health did not rate a mention.

Recently I discovered that I have a previously unknown default position when it comes to pain, heartache, stress and strain. I’ve learnt that what seems to be normal day after day—may not actually BE normal! And what seems to be a part of who you think you are – may not be the real you after all! Sometimes we simply adapt our behaviour to fit in and cope with life’s difficulties. 

My mother died a week ago. She was 97, almost 98 years old. At the end she had cancer and awful pain. However, other people’s expectations of my response to this sad situation showed me that I apparently wasn’t grieving enough. Everybody I spoke to seemed to think I should be distraught and practically paralytic. They were, of course, being very sympathetic and kind at the same time, but I constantly felt like I was giving the wrong response to their sad, empathetic faces.

So I got stuck between their expectations, and my own reactions. In those moments I was incredibly grateful for all the intercessory prayer that came my way  … but, to be honest, I simply wanted everything about it all to just go away! Yesterday, the Lord Himself helped me, and I want to share here what I’ve learned from Him — in case somebody else finds my little story resonates with them.

I’ve learnt no matter how hard we try, we can all get stuck. Maybe you may have been stuck in something that put a ceiling on your growth because you’ve labelled some things as too hard. I know I’ve done that! My ‘ceiling’ kept telling me how much I could manage … then my own judgement of myself kicked in, and pointed out that anything over and above that, was just “too much and too hard.“

I’ve been in the land of ‘too much ’ for a week or so, since she died. But then a very sweet palliative care lady took the time to explain to me that there is no right way to grieve. We are all individuals and what seems right to me may not be right for you. Everybody’s got a story… What this lady said was such a relief!! Sometimes my own ideas of right and wrong, seem to overpower whatever the Lord is saying to me, and the result is I zone out and become deaf spiritually. However, the Holy Spirit has been incredibly gracious, He persevered with me.

The Lord gave mum and I two very sweet years at the end of her life, when I was able to tell her sincerely that I dearly loved her, and she returned that affection very vocally toward hubby and I. What a blessing that was! The more I talked to the Holy Spirit, the more I realised that He had helped me complete everything He wanted me to do for her.

It can be hard to cope when your sole parent is the most difficult person in your life, simply because you are very different people. During these last days, we forgave each other, and we also had fun and laughed together. So the reason I wasn’t weeping all the time, was that I had nothing to cry about, our situation had been turned around, and … praise God, I know where she is now! 

Hubby and I spent a lot of time talking to her about the Lord and how much He loves her. Although she is no longer here with us, something I had longed to see for 52 years, had finally happened. I’d been praying and hoping that my mother and I would both get to a new place at the same time! The Holy Spirit wonderfully answered me, and He did it all without any help from me! 

I know a happy ending may not occur for everyone, but today I wanted to share that there are also times that it can. I want to pass on the hope that even seemingly impossible situations can be turned around. Our God has a plan. We don’t always understand what He is doing, because our eyes have been dimmed by the sorrow and suffering of this world.

Opting out of dealing with difficult things means we are left with unanswered questions, and He is much too kind and loving, to want us to live with the terrible pain of loss, and things being unsaid, and unresolved. The land of regret is a terrible place. He knows the right moment for you and your loved one to reconcile. Bye. 🙌

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:..” Ecclesiastes 3:1a.

P 2602 The learning curve increases!

/ DVH

One of the things I have been learning during this time on the road, is that things can get uncomfortable – even when you are doing what God has asked you to do! It’s a funny thing – it is easy to think that when the Lord asks you to do something it will all just flow along sweetly, kind of like a river. But the reality is that all rivers have snags and dry spots, they sometimes race along and other times they seem like they are hardly moving at all! 

We have a number of criteria for travel etc. that we need to meet, so that hubby is free to do what he does. He’s brilliant with people, and he doesn’t need to be concerned about my well-being while I am alone. This time I managed to do some dumb thing to one of my knees … old age and I are never gunna be friends! … so I have had to sit about a lot more than usual. The joy in this situation is that I have had the privilege of looking at some things that are very different than my own four walls at home. What a blessing it is to change my view! I’ll skip the not-so–nice parts OK?

So here’s my own personal lesson for today, it may or may not apply to you. I have found that allowing a grumpy, picky, intolerant attitude to remain in me, stops the flow of the Holy Spirit’s river in my own life. When we go on the road, there are just so many more things to get grumpy about. At home at my house, in my own comfort zone, I don’t get irritable much because … everything suits me. Believe me, it would be so easy, and soooooo nice to think that that content happy person is who I am now! It would be great to start kidding myself that I’ve been really changed… thank you Jesus! Whoop-de-doo! (Sigh!)

Hmmm. Here’s a verse I’m not thrilled about, but Jesus said it so I’d better listen.“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14. What these verses mean to me is that if I find myself getting all comfy, cosy, spiritually speaking … I’m on the wrong road! The right road will start to narrow as I grow up in Christ. And I’m pretty sure that if I feel I have loads of room and I can do whatever I like … that means I’ve wandered off that narrow way again! Not the most user-friendly verses are they? Meanwhile, I don’t think the Lord cares about that.

Here’s how this grand revelation came about for me.  Hubby and I decided to change direction on the home-ward bound journey. This is a stretch for both of us, my dear hubby likes things nailed down and settled, and I like physical comfort. The more I focussed on getting what I want, what I think I need, the deafer I got, spiritually speaking. I was like those guys standing by while Almighty God spoke to Jesus, some heard Him speak something, some heard rumblings, and others heard nothing. There’s a whole blog in there!!

Moving on …  tuning into what the Holy Spirit wants, takes time and honesty with yourself, even more than others!! We need to cultivate the desire to want what HE wants, more than staying comfortable. God wants us all out of our comfort zones, because doing what He wants is not supposed to be comfortable. It will test us. Unfortunately, trouble brings the junk to the surface. It is a mistake to think everybody we meet is just going to fall into the kingdom, some of those people have to be rounded up and turned toward home and they won’t be NICE about it!

My spiritual hearing is dependent upon my willingness to change …  to be changed by His love, as well as my circumstances. I don’t need to adapt – I need to be transformed by His Grace. There is no spirit of adaptation in spiritual fruit! But there is self-control, patience, goodness … I have said this before but it bears repeating, we need to learn to trust the Person Who died for our sake. So if we do get stuck, then we go back to Jesus, and watch and ask Him how to move forward. Jesus treated God’s will as His food!  John 4:34.

As a part of His ministry, the Lord Jesus slept by a road. He talked to people who didn’t want to hear Him. He walked so far He got tired and thirsty. His feet were dirty. Some days He had nothing to eat but raw wheat. And His companions on the journey were not always spiritually tuned in and at optimum performance levels. His accommodation and provisions were definitely way under par most days. If I think like that, then my learning curve begins to increase, and so, hopefully, does my hearing! 👋

P 2527 It can be hard to change …

/ DVH

“And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.”Ephesians 4:29 TPT.

I think I was almost born talking – a born communicator. Evidently I could sing every song on the radio at 12 months old, and I said the usual stuff long before that!. But after I started talking, it was apparently quite difficult to shut me up.  I was labelled a chatterbox, and it seems to me, that I also arrived here somewhat opinionated! 

An-y-way … words are very important to me. I’ve always loved to read and I enjoy writing as well, so my vocabulary is regularly stretched. However, when words are used badly – it irritates the living daylights out of me!  In my generation, good handwriting, spelling and grammar were … everything. I am sure you can imagine how well I have taken to this age of texting and abbreviations! 😳 I have had to make myself to adapt, but there are still days that I don’t like it much…

This penchant for accuracy has been a thorn in my side for years. Back in the ark I can remember saying to my kids: “You can do such and such …but you may not!” It seems that I may have been a bit of a pestilential mother. But the world kept turning, and then everything I knew, or I thought I knew, turned upside down. We entered the Year 2000 and some things that used to matter in our society didn’t matter any more. Colour me somewhat unimpressed!

Some days I think the Lord might be falling off His chair laughing at me, because now words are the very things I can easily forget from day to day! I can forget what I was going to say right in the middle of a sentence. Boy is that humbling for the grammar queen!  Have you ever noticed how the Lord loves to take the things we think we know, and use His Word to puncture that fat little balloon we have inflated inside us — permanently?  Well, some of us probably deserve that shiny little pin-popping exercise, because we were being snobbish fatheads in the first place. 

One of the biggest problems was that I could, most of the time, out-talk my enemies. Now that sounds good … but it is totally unscriptural!  Unfortunately, in those days I kind of knew how to go for the jugular too. Then the Lord began dealing with me on how I was avoiding facing my own mess, but blabbing away about other people’s sins. Matthew 5:29: “Let’s not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here’s what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly…”  I have learnt one thing through this life-time adventure – there IS no out-talking Almighty God! He is the Living Word and He has the last word, and there is no doubt He is always right. 

It has been a huge challenge for me to only let beautiful words come out of my mouth. BUT … here’s the kicker folks … Father God sometimes very graciously lets His power come through my words when I am talking to others. All those years of tormenting myself because I knew I talked too much, and I was way too sharp with other people in some situations … and the Holy Spirit took the very thing I thought I could never change and … CHANGED IT… and now He is using it. 🙌 Please do not misunderstand me, I really did try to keep my mouth shut, because I knew I could do a lot of mischief with it … but most of the time, until He helped me — I failed miserably. 

Eventually I chose to surrender, and I learnt to yield. At the same time, I confessed my faults, even to my enemies, and I went to the altar, where I cried buckets …But the solution was dead simple. I just had to learn to stick my hand over my mouth, repent, and at the same time cry out to the Holy Spirit to help me. I also had to learn to say the words “I was wrong to say that, I am so sorry…” … repeatedly! Of course, I choked on that lot as it was coming out. It was  humbling! You know how it says in the bible that “God gives Grace to the humble and He resists the proud?”  Hmmm. Almighty God knows exactly HOW to humble each of us! He’s great at it!  My advice is take your faults seriously –early!

So today, I want to encourage others to pray over the very thing that they have anguished over, and spent their life feeling like it can’t possibly change … and, instead, give it to God and ask for a practical solution. It can be hard to do, but it could be as easy as taking the your hand and putting it over your mouth. It was for me! 👋🏻