Abused

P 2686 The way we see others …

/ DVH

makes all the difference!! 

For years I had quite strong expectations regarding the people who are close to me – people like family, friends and relatives …I hoped they would be nice to me because I had a broken-heart because of a difficult early life. That’s what you call an unwise expectation!  I was very immature and quite dependant on other people’s approval. My time recently has been spent growing UP!

I think I kind of expected other people to be nice to me because I was abused as a child. And those people who hurt me, were still in my life. Some of their personal faults and proclivities meant they actually formed my world-view in the first place!  But I’ve learnt over time, that unless Jesus is in charge we all remain the same, and sometimes … we can get worse! Putting the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket is a very dumb idea.

This was kind of like a giant chip on my shoulder, but I didn’t know it was there, I thought how I felt was normal because of my greatly disrupted early life. I saw myself as broken and it was someone else’s fault, not mine, so I couldn’t help it. Meanwhile I totally ignored the fact that as an adult I now had the power to change! Everyone else seemed so normal, and it often looked to me like I was the odd man out. I did not make allowances for the fact that others are as broken, if not more so, than I am. We are all broken in different ways.

When we choose to view life through pain, sorrow and suffering, it can result in a distorted view. I was a very disappointed, broken-hearted, and sometimes angry child – now walking about in an adult body, with a warped view of others. Sadly that meant at that time I was making a choice to go round and round in a little whirlpool, instead of advancing up the river, under the Lord’s loving Eye. Meanwhile, if these people happened to hurt me again, then that was often the final straw. That action meant that they would never change, they would never be nice to me! And despair joined the party.

I wish I could say that Christianity totally healed me from any of those thoughts and ideas, but it didn’t. It sort of kind of fed them, by telling me over and over that I was fine, God loved me, but I was definitely broken, it was not my fault and I desperately needed healing! I was one of those people who were never going to triumph in adversity purely because of my back ground. That meant that I chased healing up one hill and down the other, using pretty messed up faith. Unfortunately what I believed at that time actually cemented me into the very place I wanted to escape from!

That’s when the Lord began to deal with me. He was gentle and kind, but firm and unrelenting. He made it clear that I could no longer go forward excusing my behaviour whilst I was holding other people to account for theirs!  I love these words from the bible  “…but God …” because HE is always the real reason we keep moving on. He is so patient, and many times I’ve clung tightly to the words in Matthew 12:20, that say this about Jesus:“He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally He will cause justice to be victorious.”

I started to understand just how broken everyone else is. We all need healing, and the people I was interacting with didn’t know Him at all. That meant if I wanted to see real change then someone was going to have to co-operate with Him! He gave me this strategy: “What if you choose to see those people as human beings – not as someone who owes you something?” That meant viewing them as lost, broken, damaged human beings, just like me..

You know in all those years in the wilderness wandering around desperately looking for someone who could heal my broken heart, it never occurred to me that I had the power for change already …but I wasn’t using it. I could choose to forget the past and simply love the people I was avoiding or I disliked. He gave all of us that power at Calvary. He chose, and now I can too. So I did. I chose to believe Him and not how I felt. I let go of any expectations that the other people would EVER change and grabbed hold of His hand – because HE will never change. Now He’s teaching me to love the unlovely, the people who persecuted me, and those who were supposed to love me but they didn’t or couldn’t.

When I made that choice, it opened my eyes. I already knew lots of scriptures about forgiveness. The reality was I read them, and I prayed and I meant it. However, I got disappointed over and over again because forgiveness didn’t seem to help me with how I felt – and the other person did not change. It was then that  I saw that my forgiveness was conditional, it relied upon the other person changing.

Praise God my feelings eventually caught up with His reality. The way we see others, makes all the difference.  God  is gently teaching me His Way to love, how to look and see others the Way He sees them. If I don’t expect things from others then I won’t be disappointed if they lack the ability to love. I have to see everyone through His eyes and leave my expectations with Him. This life is about learning to love, even those people who don’t love us. When we live that way – we are truly free.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11.👋

P 2585 Things to think on.

/ DVH

We are in the middle of preparing to go away into outback NSW next week with boxes and boxes of New Testaments etc. everywhere. And the huge pile of blankets for the homeless looks like the great wall of China. It is not exactly tidy here. I love-hate this waiting and prep time – for me waiting to go on the road seems to take forever. 

We will have to put racks on the roof of the car to accommodate all the blankets, not to mention somehow fit in the toiletries, canned food etc. we are taking with us. We pray a lot when we are loading the car!! Right now there are so many people homeless, or in dire straits in the bush. When hubby rang the local help-for-the-homeless line, in three NSW country towns, all of them had a huge response. The ladies on the other end of the phone almost came through it, they were so excited about the very little we can bring them. Perhaps they just like to know that other people care.

The government in our country allocates monies to help the poor, but those funds do not even begin to cover their everyday needs – so every single day is a struggle. However if the government forms one more committee to investigate the stuff that is staring us right in the face, I will scream!! We need to remember that these people are not worrying about what kind of TV they will buy next – instead, they often don’t know where their next meal is coming from!

Monies for governmental aid are distributed according to numbers, and there are far more homeless people, number wise, in our cities… so that means the cities are delegated the larger portion, and the little country towns struggle. Aid-workers in these agencies have so little help to give to those who come in day after day in desperate need.“But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish.”Psalm 9:18

Sadly, there are also more and more abused wives and children who have to leave their homes to escape abusive spouses, and they have only what they can carry. These people have literally had to run for their lives.  Because of this hubby and I have become secret agents – which could be fun, if it wasn’t so sad! Over the phone we are given the time and place to meet someone, far, far away from where these poor terrified souls are actually hiding. Of course we pray for the carers and the little families that have been abused, as well as the abusers. Feel free to join us.

Poverty can happen to anyone. But out in the bush, we’ve seen first hand our society’s complete disregard for our farmers. The people who provide our daily bread etc. Instead it seems that greedy corporate companies regard profit over people, and they are prevailing. At the same time investors are demanding more and more return for their money, because they are not satisfied to simply make a profit, instead they want to keep increasing their profit margins in an outrageously excessive fashion. Have we all forgotten that the bible says: “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus Himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”Acts 20:35.

You don’t have to tell us that Australia truly needs revival. Hubby and I can see the results of the haves and the have nots every day we are out on the road. However, I do wish sometimes, that city folk would limit themselves to one car, instead of one car for each member of the family! By overplaying our needs we have created a false living standard and made the gap between the poor and the rich wider.

I believe our society’s ever present need for more is also contributing to the divide between the city and the country. Today, in all of our cities, we have upgraded normaI to mean that everyone has their own phone, plus 4 or 5 TV sets,  a couple of gaming consoles, a boat, and a 240 square metre house with a pool in the back yard. And everything inside that house must be brand new! 

Yeah I know, everyone works very hard to make a living — but while we keep insisting that things like our daily bread – or milk! – should be cheap cheap cheaper, our farmers will continue to go bankrupt. The ever-present corporate machinery has no conscience so it refuses to take a loss – instead, the farmers will. It is incredibly dumb to bite the hand that feeds you! We cannot expect to get more for less and not have somebody else suffer.

Hubby and I asked the Lord to be in charge of our money years ago. He is a fantastic money manager … However, doing that was hard. It is hard to go against the pressure that exists in our society. Money can make us feel safe, but we have forgotten what is given can be taken away in a heartbeat. God has given us such a passion to share, instead of hoard and acquire. Aussies can be great givers if there is a proven cause, but we also seem to thoroughly enjoy the idea of having more than enough. I know these things will not be popular thoughts, but they are worth sharing anyway. Bye.